ABCs of Death 2.5 (ABCs of Death 2 1/2)

No, that movie was irreplaceable.

Shut it.

Where's that magic tape?

I'll never give you that tape.

You still owe me late fees.

Fuck your late charges!

Don't you understand?

You can't have that power.

It belongs to someone who can use it for world domination.

Someone who's worth it.

Like me.

Fuck you and your fucking mustache.

Tear this place apart!

Kill him!

Aha!

I am terminating your membership.

Shoot him!

Kill yourself.

Kill yourself. Kill yourself. Kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

Aha!

Get over here!

Bring it.

Amateur.

You have served your master well.

The video store will rise again.

Tonight,

beers are on me.

- (MAN MOANING) - (HORN HONKING)

- (WOMAN 1) Everyone I run into today... - (TRUCK HORN HONKING)

- (WOMAN 2 SCREAMING) - (CRASHING)

Huh?

- (TRUCK HORN HONKING) - (CRASHING)

- (FIRE CRACKLING) - (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

It's the king of the fairies!

He needs help.

The bubbles means it's working.

Do you think he has a tummy ache?

Get some water from the ditch.

(ECHOES) Maybe he needs fairy dust.

We have to go. We'll check on you soon.

I hope you feel better.

He's not bleeding anymore.

And his bug friends came to help him.

We brought you some more fairy dust.

(WHISPERING) He's asleep. Let's go.

Damn, man! He stinks.

Well, if you'd have buried him the first time,

we wouldn't have this problem now, would we?

If you're waiting for him to smell any better,

it ain't gonna happen.

So whenever you're ready, feel free.

We should've never touched that green stuff.

I'm telling you

we should've never touched it.

Why the hell is he in a tutu?

He's gone.

He got better and flew away.

- (PANTING) - (BANGING ON DOOR)

- What the fuck are you doing? - (GROANS)

When I tell you to do something, you do it!

What is that?

No.

You're just like Mama.

Shit for brains!

Please help me. Please!

Hurry, hurry.

No!

What the fuck do you think you're doing, boy?

Get out of here, now.

No.

I should've done this a long time ago.

Shit for brains!

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

Are you sure about this, Jay? I...

I think I'm just gonna stand in the back.

Oh, come on, little cuz.

Only wimps stand in the back.

You need to experience

the fury of Cock Strangler up close.

You're gonna love this, little bud.

It's death metal.

D-E-A-T-H metal.

Greetings, puny earthlings.

I am Lord Cock,

and these are my servants in cockering and debauchery.

Together, we are Cock Strangler.

This first one is called

Traveling Through Time as Embryonic Fecal Matter.

Jay, I think I'm gonna get out of...

Louise.

I'd like you to visualize your husband's face.

I see him.

Now when I say your name again...

I want you to see me.

Your Steven.

No holding back.

Not anymore.

I'm sorry I hurt you, Louise.

Do you even understand how stupid that sounds?

Calm down.

There is nothing

that can hurt you physically.

Doctor, what's happening to us?

We are all connected, Louise.

Specifically, you and I

are more connected than most, at this moment.

I don't wanna hurt you.

Then stop hurting yourself, Louise.

I love you, Louise.

- I wanna fix this. - (BREATHING HEAVILY)

You wanna fix this...

You fucked your assistant.

God knows how many times.

And even after I found out, you invited her into our home.

- As if nothing had happened! - Yes.

- Let him know. - (GASPING)

Communicate it.

Let it all go!

I gave you everything.

And what did you do?

You shit on me. You shit on us.

And every time I think of your face,

I want to spit on you.

I'm gonna make sure that you know every day, until you die,

what a shit you are.

Now open your eyes,

and see the physical manifestation

of your hatred.