BattleBots

SOTTER YOUR BOT-LOVING BACKSIDE TO THE CHAIR

CAUSE TONIGHT, COMEDY CENTRAL SPORTS PRESENTS

BATTLEBOX.

CAN TOM PETRACCELLI STICK A WEDGE IN MALVOLIO'S KILLER WINDMILL?

CAN LITTLE SISTER SEND FENDER BACK TO BIRBANG?

CAN TENTAMUSHI 7.0'S SPINNING INJUSTION SYSTEM FINALLY DEBONE WEDGE OF DOOM?

The box is locked, the lights are on, it's Roblox 5 time!

This Comedy Central Sports presentation of

BattleBots is brought to you by Taco Bell,

who would like to remind you to think outside the box.

And the Final Fantasy X from Squaresoft, available only on PlayStation 2.

Tonight they've come to the city by the bay with

bots in their bags and mayhem on their minds.

Hello again everybody, I'm Tim Green here with the

always energetic and sometimes funny Bill Dwyer.

Wow, even after 12 concussions, still sharp Tim.

You know with the bots we got tonight, we could be looking at some quick knockouts.

But before we get started, here's Carmen Electra.

Hey guys, somebody better get Patch Adams down

here, cause this is gonna be absolutely sick.

These robots are about to slam each other up into not so tidy little packages.

And this crowd's got a fever for the flavor of that crinkle.

Here's Dr. Electra's prescription for a healthy robot.

Pile up wins before the clean up crew piles up your butt.

So simple, yet so effective.

Okay, I promise, no playing doctor jokes.

Here's tonight's first match up.

Gray Ebert, Malvolio, San Diego, California.

That attitude's fast, so I'm gonna have to start spinning up right away.

And I imagine he's gonna get across the box pretty quickly.

Thomas Petracelli, bad attitude. San Jose, California.

I'm gonna have my hands full on this one.

The box beckons. Let's get to the introductions.

Introducing, in the red square, to my right.

He'll make this three minutes seem longer than an episode of Dharma and Greg.

Introducing, Malvolio.

Those hammers weigh two pounds apiece.

And in the blue square.

Joining us on a weekend pass from hell, please welcome Bad Attitude.

One of the fastest of the middleweights.

Bad Attitude last season made it to the quarters.

The box is locked.

The lights are on. It's robot fighting time.

Bad Attitude comes out fast.

Malvolio with those deadly hammers spinning.

Malvolio retaliating.

Bad Attitude gets crossed by the kill saw.

Malvolio, an unusual looking robot, but very effective.

Oh, Malvolio thrown on his pitiful head.

What was I saying about effective?

No, that's it for Malvolio.

Just Tom Petracelli's bad attitude knocked him around a little bit.

Did he score points? Did he play to the crowd? I want to know.

Bad Attitude slams Malvolio once.

Malvolio takes it for the kill saw.

Bad Attitude slams him twice. He's now lost his top.

Malvolio flipped and righted by the pulverizer. Amazing.

Oh, Bad Attitude tossed by the kill saws.

So Bad Attitude had this fight won, but Bad Attitude got greedy.

Malvolio is game, though.

And Malvolio has those deadly hammers spinning and swinging.

Not only that, he's got those spikes on the back

in case he needs to back up into Bad Attitude.

Malvolio striking Bad Attitude once, twice.

And Bad Attitude up under Malvolio for a second time,

and he wraps him into the pulverizer.

The quiet efficiency of Bad Attitude.

Bad Attitude truly invertible, the same either way.

Bad Attitude much more maneuverable,

but Malvolio incredibly resilient.

Give it up for Malvolio, really putting up a good fight here.

Nose to nose, both bots bounce back.

Malvolio's got his work cut out for him at this point.

He knows he's got to be aggressive

and really come at Bad Attitude.

And he is doing just that.

Malvolio chasing Bad Attitude around the box.

He's a hard bot to chase.

He's so fast and maneuverable.

Now Bad Attitude behind Malvolio.

Malvolio's got to be having some drive problems now.

Weapon working, not moving.

Bad Attitude backing up this time,

but ready, Malvolio, no!

Oh, he's teasing us.

Sigh.

He's teasing.

Bad Attitude much more careful this time.

Now he's just going to bring him to the hammers, it looks like.

Take him to the Pulverizer.

Oh, Bad Attitude slams Malvolio again and again.

And this may be it.

Malvolio being counted out, but thank you for a great fight.

Tom Peticelli, congratulations.

Could this be Bad Attitude's year in the middleweight class?

Fight into this Taco Bell replay.

Malvolio tossed by the Killsaws and incapacitated until this.

The Pulverizer riding Malvolio.

But there's nothing right about this.

A trip to the screws and a visit from the Pulverizer.

Bad Attitude KOs Malvolio in 2 minutes and 31 seconds.

Carmen's with Tom.

So your bot is double trouble because when it flips over,

it can still move around.

It's almost mandatory that you make some kind of a plan

to what happens when you're going to go upside down.

Because with all the new flippers, you will be upside down.

When you've got T-minuses and Toros and Sabotage

and the rest of them, you'll be upside down.

Absolutely, thank you.

So for the future of Malvolio, fired or rewired?

It'll come back. Resurrected and a little more powerful.

Ready to go.

Stronger than ever, like Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Good to hear. Thanks a lot, guys. Congratulations.

Malvolio did have a tough break early on on the Killsaws,

but there is no denying that Bad Attitude is ready

for this year's competition.

Coming up next, those bot -loving Brits throw little sister

up against that bad boy from Burbank, Bender.

Plus, bot expert Christian Karlberg is going to show you

how you can build your own BattleBots.

You are watching a Comedy Central Sports presentation

of BattleBots with Carmen Electra, Tim Green,

Arge Barker, Brad Wallach, and me, Bill Dwight.

For more information on BattleBots

and how you can enter a fighting robot

Hey, everyone, I'm Carmen Electra,

and this is Comedy Central Sports

and the BattleBots Heavyweights are about to roll.

Coming up next, find out if the Watts kids

are ready to eat at the grown-ups' table.

That's right, Bender's not here to babysit,

and you don't score points for being cute.

This one could be close.

Those flowers on little sister may say peace and love,

but the only thing that bot understands

is cold-blooded destruction.

To win, Bender's got to put that blade to work,

or else little sister's going to be dropping

those flowers on his grave.

And these Brits are ready.

My robot's got a big flipper,

and it's going to kick everyone's butt.

Is Bender ready for some fish and flips?

Here we go.

In the red square, to my right,

this bot dishes out pain like a teaching hospital.

Your screams for morphine go largely ignored by Bender.

Bender with a dangerous weapon

does not like facing flip-bots, though.

And in the blue square,

suckled on the teat of cruelty,

nurtured by the tines of evil,

raised on the mean streets of Petaluma,

it's not his fault.

Here is little sister.

She may look cute, but she's got a mean touch.

Red driver, are you ready?

I'm ready.

Bender is ready.

Blue driver, are you ready?

I'm ready.

Little sister is ready.

The box is locked.

The lights are on.

It's robot fighting time.

Little sister advancing quickly up underneath Bender.

It drives Bender into the screws.

Holy moly!

Both bots dangerously close to the pole of the riser.

Little sister flipping Bender.

Bender like an upended carousel.

That, that is it.

I don't care how dangerous your blade is.

If it's spinning you, that's not what you want.

Little sister moving in, though.

Trying to flip Bender, maybe reviving this fight.

Pushing Bender into the spikes.

Little sister has some huge power in that flipping arm.

Keep trying, too.

That's what I like about the Watts family.

She's gained, but this one looks like it's over.

That was a quick one.

Bender back to the drawing board.

The Watts family victorious.

Let's get to the replays, Bill.

Little sister rams Bender into the wall.

Yep, and there's little sister, like a lot of little sisters,

being very annoying.

Little sister in just 56 seconds.

Ellie just beat Bender, she must be feeling good.

That was a really short battle.

Ouch, now there's something for the Bender crew to keep

reliving on that long lonely road back to the body shop.

What are the builders saying? Let's find out.

Bender, you got beat by the British.

Not a way to represent America today, huh?

No, no, they put an inch and a half of Lexan on the back

when we tried to get over it, and we were just a little too high.