Seinfeld

All right, what am I supposed to do here?

Should I go over there?

It's not like somebody died.

It's Beaches, for God's sake.

If she was sittin' next to me, I'd put my arm around her.

If she was sittin' next to me, I'd put my arm around her.

I can't see makin' a big move

like goin' all the way over there.

I can't.

I won't.

So she calls me this morning.

Tells me she's upset that

I didn't console her.

I mean, it was Beaches, for God's sake.

I mean, what do you do in a situation like that?

Where were ya?

I was sittin' on the chair.

She was over here on the couch.

Mm-hm.

If you were sittin' right next to her,

you'd have to console her no matter what.

Of course.

When you're talking about a movie like Beaches,

moving from the chair to the couch...

moving from the chair to the couch...

That's quite a voyage. Yeah.

Hey. Hey.

Hey. We gotta get goin'. C'mon.

Where you goin'? Show League game.

The Improv's playing Rochelle, Rochelle: The Musical.

Really?

What, is Bette Midler playing?

Is she gonna be there?

She might be. She's the star of the show.

Wh... Bette Midler is gonna be in the park today?

Jerry, don't tease me.

I didn't know you were such a Midler fan.

So maybe I'll go down and watch, huh?

She'll be there maybe, huh?

So is Gennice playing today?

So is Gennice playing today?

Yeah. She might be.

What Gennice?

That's, uh, the understudy. I'm dating her.

Oh. Is this, uh, Bette Midler's understudy?

Yeah.

Ah. Understudies, now...

They're a shifty bunch.

The substitute teachers of the theatre world.

I'm glad that she's an understudy.

This way I avoid having to go backstage

and think of something to say.

Going backstage is the worst.

Especially when they stink.

You know, then it's a real problem.

Just once I'd like to tell someone they stink.

"Hey, you know what?

"Heh, I didn't like the show.

"Heh, I didn't like the show.

"I didn't like you.

"You just really stunk.

"The whole thing, real bad.

"Stinkaroo.

Thanks for the tickets though."

Miss Elaine, you late.

I know. I know.

I didn't have change for the bus.

Nobody'll give you change in this city.

So they threw me off the bus.

Oh, but you have to wait for Lotus now.

Well, how long is it gonna take?

I have, like, a million things to do.

I have, like, a million things to do.

What?

What?

Not long.

[SPEAKING IN KOREAN]

[SPEAKING IN KOREAN]

What... What? What is so funny?

What... What? What is so funny?

Uh...

Sunny, tell a knock-knock joke.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, Jerry.

I have a sneaking suspicion they're talking about me.

I think they've been calling me a dog.

How would you know? You don't speak Korean.

Because this woman came in with a dog,

and Ruby called the dog the same word they were saying

when they were pointing at me.

Geh. Geh. Geh.

You know, maybe in Korean, "dog" isn't an insult.

You know, maybe in Korean, "dog" isn't an insult.

Could be like the word "fox" to us.

"Oh, she's a dog."

Why don't you go to another nail shop.

Because they're the best, Jerry.

The best. Look.

Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

What you need is a translator to go in the shop with you

and tell you what they're saying.

Yeah, who speaks Korean?

Know who speaks Korean?

Who?

George's father.

Oh, God, you've gotta be kidding me.

How does he speak Korean?

He used to go there a lot on business.

What did he do?

Sold religious articles,

statues of Jesus, the Virgin Mary,

manufactured in Korea.

manufactured in Korea.

George, does your father speak Korean?

Yeah. Fluently. Really?

In fact, he once spoke to the Reverend Sun Myung Moon.

Thanks.

Oh, hi, Gennice.

Hey. Hey, Jerry.

You know, George. This is Kramer.

Nice to meet you.

Playin' today?

No, I'm a bench player.

You know, they really stick to that understudy rule.

So she's coming?

Oh, yeah, she'll be here.

Guaranteed.

Guaranteed.

Oh, no.

My frankfurter.

My frankfurter fell.

Oh, no.

It was really good.

I can't believe that I dropped it.

It's okay.

It's just a hot dog.

Don't worry. Everything is gonna be okay.

It was really good.

It's Bette!

Hi.

Hi.

Look. There she is.

It's Bette.

It's Bette.

Psst.

Uh, Bette?

Psst!

Hi. Hi.

Um, you know, I just wanna say, I think you're wonderful.

Um, you know, I just wanna say, I think you're wonderful.

Heh. Thank you.

Yeah, you know, I've seen you in everything you've done.

Really?

Is there anything I can get you?

A water? They got Italian ice over here.

What flavors do they have?

Well, they got chocolate, lemon and cherry.

How about pineapple? Pineapple.

Sure, I'll be right back.

Thanks.

One pineapple.

No pineapple.

Just cherry, lemon and tutti-frutti.

Wha... Oh, uh...

Anyway, Mr. Costanza,

what I want you to do is to go into the shop with me

and tell me what they're saying.

You do speak Korean?

I once talked to the Reverend Sun Myung Moon.

He bought two Jesus statues from me.

He's a hell of a nice guy.

Ah.

Ever seen that face on him?

It was like a big apple pie.

Yup, yeah.

Uh, ahem, listen, Mr. Costanza, if, um...

If you do this for me, I can get you a manicure.

I'll pay for it.

I'll pay for it.

Or you can get a pedicure if you want.

No one's touchin' my feet.

Between you and me, Elaine,

I think I got a foot-odor problem.

Hold it up. Time.

Time!

How you feelin'?

Pretty good.

Pretty good.

You feelin' okay?

What's your problem?

Now, listen. She's all over the inside of the plate.

You know, she thinks she's a big star.

Thinks she owns the inside corner.

So I say we back her off with a little chin music.

You know I what mean? Yeah, I know what you mean.