Where's My Weed At?

The cultivation process of a marijuana plant

takes a minimum of three months,

depending on the strain.

And once it's dried and cured,

I pack it up …

ship it out to our distributors.

But first,

I need to perform a ceremonial sampling of the product.

This is to ensure optimum customer satisfaction.

Better get rolling, then.

Safe deliveries, Jimmy.

Adios.

Good morning. What can I get you?

Hi. Yeah.

Can I get a egg and bacon pancake stack, please?

Some cheesy rings.

Can I get a banana milkshake with that?

Coming right up.

Ah, so sorry, can I get some of that special sauce to go with it, please?

The special sauce is on the table. You just help yourself.

Ah, okay.

Can't have cheesy rings without special sauce.

Thanks.

Some people say it's just ketchup and mayo.

They don't know what they're talking about.

That's just a thousand islands dressing, innit?

Exactly. They're forgetting the secret ingredient.

I thought it was lemon juice, but now I'm not so sure.

I was always working on the assumption that it was horseradish.

Horseradish?

Interesting.

Don't tell me you're about to put that on your egg and bacon pancake stack.

Ah, I know it sounds so wrong. But I promise you, it tastes so right.

-I thought I was the only one. -What? You're kidding?

I just had a whole plateful now. I'm about to finish off my cheesy rings.

Ah, you see,

I eat my cheesy rings first,

'cause, you know, you gotta eat them while they're hot.

Nah, I prefer them close to room temperature.

Hmm.

You know what?

I'mma put one aside, let it cool down.

See if you're right.

I'm Gabrielle, by the way.

Jimmy.

Ooh! Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

It's okay. It was an accident.

-Let me get you another drink. -It's cool.

-Don't worry about that. -No, honestly, I want to.

-It's the least I can do. -Are you sure?

Yeah. Vanilla milkshake?

Oh, it was banana, actually.

That's my fave flavor too.

Wha--

Uh, can I get a banana milkshake?

- - This way, you can get hold of me.

I mean, if you ever wanna spill anyone's milkshake again.

Thanks, Jimmy.

It was nice meeting you.

Oh shit!

Oi!

Want a fight?

I'm fucking with you, mate. Joking.

Unless you want one?

You army boys love a ruck, don't ya?

I'm looking for your sister.

Business or pleasure?

Strictly business.

Better be.

Just fucking with ya.

Watch yourself. She's got the right hump. You might be better off in here.

You can't find Jimmy?

Knock on his door, bang on his window, rattle his fucking letterbox.

Might've got so stoned he forgot what day of the week it was.

Don't worry about the Albanians. I've got 'em under manners.

Steady Eddie. Yeah, he's here with me now.

You focus on finding Jimmy, all right?

Call me when you get there.

-Morning, Susie. -

Jimmy's not answering his phone.

So we're currently in the midst of exploring a number of scenarios.

I'm afraid I couldn't find him either. Neither could any of my staff

and, despite spending an inordinate amount of time together,

neither could Freddy.

Our investigation's already moved away from your estate.

Right. Well, then, why am I here?

Well, as you might imagine,

the customer expecting the shipment was somewhat disappointed.

Where's my weed at?

Presumably you explained there was some unforeseen delay, then?

We've been doing business with Toni Blair for years,

but he's not exactly nuanced.

Where's my weed at?

Unforeseen delay.

-Hold on. Tony Blair? - He's a Kosovan-Albanian.

Tony Blair was like a savior to those guys back in the day.

It's a very popular name.

-He's a bit of a mug. -Yeah.

- But he's good for money. -Where's my weed at?

Can't you just give his money back?

You never give back money once it's been handed over.

And the reason for that being?

It's just something you don't do.

Well, you'll just have to tell him to be patient, then.

It might be a little late this month.

Yeah, but you've forgotten how this works. Where's my weed at?

You try, but life's too short.

Given that it would be deeply problematic

if people started to think your supply chain couldn't be relied upon,

you decide to throw him a bone.

See if there's something you can do to make up for the inconvenience.

You see that whip? It's hotter than a jalfrezi.

Part of a sideline I've been setting up as an auto trader.

Import-export. I take in orders from all over.

We pick up the vehicle and deliver it to the client.

Bang! Good price. Cash in hand. Gezuar.

The other day, we ran into something, ended up getting our wings clipped.

Clipped!

Which has severely restricted our operational effectiveness.

Severely.

So, because his product's been delayed, you've promised to steal a car for him?

Not just any car. This is a very particular vehicle.

Lamborghini Huracan.

-Green. - I know where it's gonna be.

I know when it's gonna be there.

All I need is a bit of help with collection and delivery.

And you agreed to that why?

I don't expect you to appreciate the nuances

of the symbiotic ecosystem that allows our business to flourish,

but, yes, I did.

Gezuar.

So presumably this is an issue you and your team will sort?

My team are currently focusing their attentions on problem A,

figuring out what's happened to the weed.

That leaves problem B. The stealing of the car.

Which is, admittedly, less pressing and, frankly, beneath me.

Nonetheless, still needs tackling with a degree of… finesse.

And given the terms of our agreement,

I thought you might be interested in stepping up.

Why me? Why not one of your delightful associates?

The request comes from my father.

His motivation remains enigmatic.

Hmm.

Well, if I were to do this…

it would be a significant departure

from the content and spirit of our agreement.

Thus, um,

I'd be looking for something in return.

You'd have to be more specific.

Well, you talked about increased profitability.

Why don't we choose a number so we can use it as a floor?

Hmm. You want a number.

All right. I can give you a number.

Good.

We also discussed you leaving my estate by the end of the year,

but it wasn't made clear whether that was a financial year or a calendar year.

Perhaps we should just name a date.

I'll have to check my diary.

But sure.

Then let's sort your little problem, shall we?

Toni Blair said he'd meet us at the garage.

Well, let's rearrange my afternoon, then.

Don't know what Dad sees in him.

Just 'cause he's a soldier. Don't mean nothing in the real world.

No, but he killed someone and didn't spin out into an existential crisis.

Most people would wake up in a cold sweat. The duke slept like a baby.

And how do you know that?

Speaking metaphorically.

Look, truth is, there are 24 dukes in this country.

This seems to be the only one

who can navigate both the upper echelons of high society

and shoot someone in the head without worrying.

So does that make him useful?

In the very specific and unique world in which we operate,

it does.

Truth is, you're looking at a very tight window.

This vehicle's only gonna be in London a couple of days

before it gets moved on.

The place is run by a lady called Mercy.

She's made a name for herself

in the world of high-end, super-modified luxury vehicles.

Some of it legal. Some of it not.

That's the beauty of it. She's a secondhand car dealer,

so her crew isn't tasty or anything like that.

But at the same time, she don't want the police looking into her business.

Well, what's so special about this car, then?

They want a Lamborghini Huracan Evo with a tint gloss, green finish,

and they're willing to pay good money.

That's what we get 'em.

The key to the Lambo is kept in Mercy's boudoir