A Merry Little Ex-Mas

Have I got a story to tell you.

It's a Christmas story.

I'm Kate.

That's me about 20 years ago.

Right out of college, I got a job

at this amazing architecture firm in Boston.

I was gonna change the world.

And then my world changed

when I danced at a party with a med student named Everett.

We were obsessed with each other.

That "first love, walking into walls" feeling

where you can't even think.

We've all been there.

So when Everett went home to set up his practice,

I, of course, went with him

to his magical hometown called Winterlight.

Seriously, it's like he grew up in a Yankee Candle.

It was just too hard to leave.

We got married, had kids,

and I discovered that small-town doctors are actually married to their jobs.

It was like being a single mom with a wedding ring.

And my career as an architect?

Plot twist. I became a handywoman instead.

The kids grew up.

Everett and I grew apart.

We weren't having fun anymore.

And that whole "I'm gonna change the world" thing?

Actually, let me just show you the story.

Okay, so you are sure you want to get divorced?

- Yep. - Positive.

Mm-hmm.

Well, as the mayor of Winterlight and your friend,

I think you're making a mistake.

Christina, divorce does not mean that we are not still a team.

Well, legally it kinda does.

We're not even calling it divorce. We're consciously uncoupling.

Yeah, we've been separated for months, and we're much happier.

It's a healthier way to think about ending a marriage.

Can we not advertise this? You know how people are in this town. Thank you.

Gingerbread muffins?

You can't get divorced on an empty stomach.

- Oh, nice. - Thanks, Buck.

Oh, Buck, they're not calling it that. They're calling it conscious uncoupling.

Wow.

What's so funny? I thought you guys were getting divorced.

No, no. Nope. They are consciously uncoupling.

Oh, no kiddin'?

Guys, divorce doesn't have to be terrible.

Yeah, it does.

Look, I know this is our first Christmas apart.

- But we're still gonna spend it together. - Yeah.

- Right? As a family. Normal. - Yeah.

We're gonna do all of the traditional Holden family activities.

- Right. - We're gonna have Christmas dinner.

- All the meals together at the Mothership. - Just gotta work at it.

- Easy. - Yeah, practicing total honesty,

and starting all of our sentences with

"I feel."

Oh God!

No.

- Come on, hon. - Yeah.

You can order.

- Hey! - Here.

Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an open house.

Hi.

Well, an open tiny house, so not for everyone.

- Mm. - You know, specifically anyone over 4'11".

- Oh. - So how did the meeting go with Christina?

It was kind of a public event.

But what do you expect getting divorced in a coffee shop?

So did you tell Everett that you're moving?

Um...

Not exactly.

I thought you two had a total-honesty policy?

We do, just not about this. I'm not telling the kids either.

This is our last Christmas in this house,

and I... want it to be happy.

I can't believe you're selling The Mothership.

April, I've got a job waiting for me.

I need you to get on board.

Girl, you are asking me to be selfless, which is a big ask.

Girl, I have been stuck in this town for half my life.

Doing what exactly?

Raising kids?

Uh, breaking the glass ceiling in the elite handyman world?

Yeah, and building worm farms in exchange for baked goods.

Gabe is graduating high school this year, and Sienna's already in college.

This is my chance to get out.

Santa's little elves are here!

- You invited Everett's dads? - Duh. We have joint custody.

Hi!

- There's our Katie. - Katie-patatey.

- Hello. - Ooh!

- April, do your worst. - You got it.

Hey, I didn't know what you were cooking, so I brought a sweet-potato casserole.

That's so kind of you.

Now we have two.

- Oh. - Never try to out-Kate Kate at Christmas.

Or Easter.

- Hey, Grandpas. - Hey.

Oh!

Good to see you.

- You get taller every time we see you. - Yes.

Really? Yeah, I think you guys get shorter every time I see you.

- This is why no one likes teenagers. - Uh-huh.

Oh.

It's them. They'll be here in a few minutes.

- They? - Yeah, oh, just you wait.

- Oh! Ooh. - Okay.

- Whoo! - Need any help?

- Oh, baby! - Hi.

- Oh! - Hi. Okay.

- Mwah! Mwah! - All right. All right.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi, Nigel. - Hi!

Nice... Oh, yeah.

- Hi. - Oh.

Okay. Okay.

- Okay, Nigel, you know my mom, Kate. - Yes.

These are my grandpas, Mike and Daryl.

- Hello. - Hi.

- My godmother, April. - Hi.

And then this is my, um, okay, wow... ...not-so-little brother,

Gabriel.

What? Uh, everybody, this is... this is Nigel.

- Hello! - Hi, Nigel.

Lovely to meet you all. I just wish I'd brought something.

Oh, wait, I did. I brought a wand!

Accio Christmas magic!

You... you actually carry a wand?

- I do. - He does.

I used it to cast a spell over this beautiful lady.

Aww.

Wingardium leviosa!

- Wingardium levi... - Okay. Okay.

Uh, let's... let's go inside.

- Yes. Okay. - That was good. Okay.

Um, oh, do you need help?

- He's fine. Leave him. - I'm good.

- Wow. - Where's Katie?

Mm.

I, uh, I just have to say

that I cannot get over the striking resemblance between you two.

Okay. Everybody always says that, and I just don't see it.

We're nothing alike.

So, Nigel, do you go to Oxford too, or somewhere else?

Oh, no. Nigel doesn't go to college.

- Mom. - Well, he doesn't.

I was just looking at the, uh, crest on your jacket.

What does that say? "Grl-fin-duff"?

"Gryffindor."

Yeah. Nigel works full-time as a Harry Potter tour guide.

- That's a job? - Apparently.

- He's really good. - Yep. I'm the best at it.

I know Parseltongue.

Sienna tells me that you have some unusual holiday traditions.

Yeah, uh, which I'm boycotting this year.

It's your thing, Mom. You go have fun with it. Okay?

Enjoy.

So what are these traditions?

We make handmade gifts and exchange them.

Yeah. Handmade gifts come from the heart.

Unlike real gifts, which are from Amazon.

And Kate doesn't buy ornaments. It's all popcorn and pine cones.

We make ornaments from recycled and found objects.

- What about the birds? - Oh, I love the birds.

We make origami birds,

and then we write something on each of them we're grateful for.

That all sounds brilliant.

That's... that's one way to put it.

Embarrassing is another.

- What about the book? That's not weird. - True.

On Christmas Eve, we bring out our family scrapbook,

and Mom and Dad read it to us.

- Aww. - It's very cute.

Speaking of Everett, sends his regards.

He'd be here, but he had a last-minute patient.

Sounds like Betty. Always working.

Uh... uh... who is Betty?

Oh, my parents call each other Betty and Al. Don't ask.

I'm looking forward to meeting him.

- Oh, and his new girlfriend. - What?

- What? - What?

Ow! Why did you just kick me?

Don't announce that.

- She's looking at me. - Don't make eye contact. Look away.

Kate, um, I've been reading about this, uh, geothermal energy.

- I'd love to get your thoughts. - No, you wouldn't. Nigel?

Nigel? Nigel, I can still see you.

Nigel?

Nigel. Nigel. Don't, Nigel.

Spill.

Dad didn't tell you?

Dad didn't tell me what exactly?

That he's dating someone.

No, I just saw your dad.

If he was dating someone, he would've told me.

Okay...

So Everett's dating someone. So?

You knew about this?