Bunny

Realistic. Is that what you say?

So today I fucked up.

I upended the lives of the people I love most.

My family.

See, I'm a hustler,

a gigolo, you know, like Richard Gere.

Not that fancy.

It was a means to a beautiful life.

Not today.

Today sucks.

Also, it's my birthday.

It just isn't in our jurisdiction.

That's a matter for the Housing Court.

You're asking for money from a tenant?

This is a matter for the Housing Court.

Yeah. Not now, Linda.

Yes, we know it's gonna be so good.

I got it, queen. I got it.

I can handle it.

It's gonna be, too. You know me.

Really not a big deal. Please.

Hey, Bobbie.

Happy birthday, Bunny!

Surprise! This...

is Daphne.

We're going old-school,

and...do you know what this is?

This is molly,

the best molly that could be found

in the Tri-State Area

according to a 22-year-old PA.

-Tonight? -Yes.

We have an amazing evening set up.

Yeah, we got that B&B guest.

You said you were free. It's your birthday.

We booked a hotel room.

We've taken care of everything.

Bobbie, I don't feel well.

-I don't know. -It's your birthday.

You were fine this morning.

Why would I lie about something like that?

What?

It'll make you feel better. Um...

All right. What's going on with you?

Nothing.

All right. OK. Here, Daph.

Why don't you take a hit of--

- out of the kitchen window? - OK.

I love you. I'll be right in.

I'm just gonna talk to Bunny for a second.

It's all good. It's nice to meet you, Bunny.

Yeah.

Bunny, come on. We're gonna talk about this.

I understand, OK?

English is also my second language, OK,

but do you have anyone who can help you translate

to fill out the forms for the housing--

The form is a long--

it's a long form.

A long form.

Do you understand?

- Yes. - Right.

-It's a little hectic. -OK.

We're gonna do a quick change of plans here.

Yeah? What's that?

I think I'm gonna meet you at the dinner.

I'm gonna send you off with everything.

- It's all good. - All right.

- Thank you. - OK.

Just come down soon.

What the fuck was that?

I just want to be alone.

Why are you acting so weird?

Linda, if one of your tenants isn't paying rent,

you have to go to Housing Court.

It's just not our jurisdiction.

Oh, you can't help me. I can call. Bye, bye, bye, bye.

-No use. -Li--

What the fuck, Bunny?

Hey, what smells so bad?

-Smell mofongo. -Mofongo?

Oh, I must be a monster

if you're gonna have to take molly

- and fuck two beautiful women. - They

're still arguing in there.

Oh, jinx.

Who is that?

Cops. Fuck!

Oh, it's my fault.

Everything all right?

No. I mean, yeah, of course.

What's all that noise, man?

What's going on?

Everything's fine. That's not what this is.

Well, we heard you from two floors down.

I want to come and take a look around.

Yeah. - You both are welcome to come in,

but you can't come in with those boots.

You got to take them off first.

If you don't want to take them off,

you can put the booties on.

-Good idea. -I'm not gonna do booties.

Ah, ah, ah. I'm not taking off my shoes, OK? I'm not.

Cellestino, just take the shoes off.

They're fucking fine. I'm--I'm--

Yeah. Everything's fine. I'm actually just heading out.

OK. Well, listen.

Feel free to reach out if you ever need any assistance.

- I will. Thank you. - Assistance?

-Yeah. -I'm not gonna be home tonight because so

mebody's gonna have fun on your birthday.

I'll walk you two down.

Oh, it's your birthday.

Happy birthday, man.

- After you. - All right.

What?

Hi. Uh, this is the Airbnb.

Can you come get my bag?

Oh. Oh, yeah. Coming.

It's me. It's you.

It's piping hot Pfeiffer month at Metrograph.

It's fucking "Witches of Eastwick."

Do you know about that?

I'm gonna call you back. I'm gonna call you back.

- Ah! - Beep!

Got you a birthday gift, dude.

-Has a card. -Run it upstairs.

I got to grab the B&B lady, the bags and whatnot.

You know, I saw Bobbie earlier

leave with the cops.

What's going on? You all right?

Not right now.

-OK. OK. -Your hair looks good.

You see this guy waiting for you, right?

All right. I'll see you up there.

I'm gonna call this broad back.

You smell that?

I know. It's fucking awful.

I've been sitting here taking calls on the fucking stairs...

-Ugh. -wafting.

- I'll talk to you later. - All right.

Yeah. You should think about doing laundry

more often, huh?

Well, no, no, no, I separated out my plaids.

- OK. - These are my plaids.

Looking forward to the delicates.

OK. All right.

- Bless you, Bunny. - Yeah.

No. I can't. I got to Save money.

Really want to take Michelle to Taluum.

Oh, my God, I didn't know you were fucking gay.

What? Gay for your mom.

Got it?

I don't-- there's nothing we can do.

Watch this step, Ian.

- Male half. - I got you. OK.

- Hey, man. - Oh, hey.

You, uh--you still mad, or can I ask you a question?

Listen, I don't know anything about Linda's little creep.

No, no, no. It has nothing to do with that, OK?

-Yeah. -Where can I get some shawarma?

Shawarma, right? Yeah. Shawarma around here.

Bereket's down on Houston.

No, no, no, I'm not gonna go back down that far.

Go to my Mamoun's between 2nd and 3rd.

- It's the best. - Perfect.

St. Mark's afterwards.

Wait, what about the báhn mì?

-This-- -All that way, huh?

Yeah. Hi. Chana, Bunny.

Um, actually, you can call me Chana Eliza

or Happy Chana but never Chana.

Copy. This is, uh, Ian,

my wonderful neighbor with a bum arm.

I'm just helping him with his laundry.

I used to be very strong, believe it or not.

I had a motorcycle accident. Ruined my modeling career, also.

-Oh. -I was a model.

We don't have time for the photos.

Bye, Ian. See you later.

All right. Let's get you in.

I apologize in advance for the smell,

but don't worry, it's not in our spot.

So how was your travels?

Well, I was watching "Toy Story" for the first time,

and the entertainment system went out

3 quarters of the way through it.

It was upsetting.

I can get you all the "Toy Stories."

There's more than one?

-Oh. -Oh, Bunny!

We were just looking for you.

- Oh, really? - Yeah.