TRIGUN

( theme music plays )

( music plays )

Man: VASH THE STAMPEDE?

- THAT'S RIGHT. HE'S THE MAN WITH

THE SIXTY BILLION DOUBLE DOLLARS ON HIS HEAD.

THEY SAY HE SHOWED UP IN DANKIN TOWN RECENTLY.

MADE QUITE A MESS I HEAR. - SO WHAT HAPPENED?

- ( chuckles ) THE WHOLE TOWN GOT ZAPPED.

MOUNTAINS OF CORPSES ALL OVER DANKIN.

THE COFFIN MAKER GOT SO RICH

HE BUILT HIMSELF A MANSION OF WOOD.

- ( whistles ) GUY SOUNDS PLAIN CRAZY.

HE'S MORE THAN CRAZY.

I THINK WE'D BE WISE TO KEEP A SAFE DISTANCE.

MESSING WITH VASH IS LIKE DANCING WITH DEATH.

HE LEAVES A TRAIL OF DESTRUCTION WHEREVER HE GOES.

WOMEN, CHILDREN, HE DON'T CARE.

HE'LL KILL 'EM ALL.

THEY CALL HIM "THE HUMANOID TYPHOON."

- HUH? - ( crash )

- HUH? - HMM?

HUH?! OHH, AHHH!

( metal swishes )

HUH?

( whirring )

( man grunts )

- HMM? - HUH?

( ice clinks )

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

( gun cocks )

both: HUH? AHHH!

HUH?

( chuckles )

I FINALLY FOUND YOU.

( gunfire )

- Sherriff: ONE NIGHT AND JUST LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

I DIDN'T BELIEVE THE RUMORS,

BUT THIS GUY REALLY IS A TYPHOON.

OVER HALF THE TOWN AIN'T NOTHING BUT RUBBLE NOW.

- THAT'S A REAL SHAME, BUT THE UNDERTAKERS MUST BE HAPPY.

SO HOW MANY DID HE GET THIS TIME?

100, 200?

ACTUALLY, ZERO.

THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF INJURIES,

BUT SOMEHOW NO FATALITIES AT ALL.

I GUESS WE HAD A MIRACLE HERE...

WITHOUT GOD'S HELP.

SO WHAT WAS HE LIKE?

- ( sighs ) WELL, HE WORE RED,

HAD EARRINGS-- A GIANT MAN WITH SHORT LEGS.

I'M AFRAID I DIDN'T GET A REAL GOOD LOOK AT HIM MYSELF.

THANKS, SHERIFF.

- WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY AWAY FROM HIM

FOR YOUR OWN GOOD.

RED. HMPH!

- Radio Host: THE AREA OF DANKIN IS MOSTLY DEMOLISHED.

ALL RESIDENTS GO TO YOUR DESIGNATED SHELTER AREAS.

THE NEXT UPDATE 30 P.M.

- HUH? - UNTIL THEN,

PLEASE ENJOY OUR MUSICAL SELECTION.

( leering chuckles )

WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?

- A BANANA SUNDAE. - HUH?

- AND I WILL HAVE A GATOE MILK BOWL WITH SALONG TEA.

- All: HUH?! - ( growling )

LISTEN, MISSES,

I'M AFRAID YOU'D BETTER ORDER MILK WITH THAT

OR THAT GAG AIN'T GONNA WORK.

YEAH, 'CAUSE IF YOU DID,

WE'D GIVE YOU ALL THE MILK YOU COULD POSSIBLY WANT.

- ALTHOUGH, I HATE TO TELL YOU,

BUT IT WOULDN'T EXACTLY BE FREE.

( men laugh )

- BUT I DIDN'T SAY MILK. I SAID SALONG TEA.

- ( grunts ) - ( men mutter )

- HEY! - HEY!

OH, SORRY.

YOU LITTLE BITCH, YOU!

- THAT STUPID SLING BROKE AGAIN.

- YOU HAVE A SPARE, DON'T YOU? YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL.

- YEAH, I KNOW. - WHAT THE HELL IS SHE?

SHE'S A MONSTER.

- BY THE WAY, MISTER, WE HEARD THAT VASH THE STAMPEDE

SHOWED UP IN FELNARL RECENTLY.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU CAN TELL US?

- WHAT ABOUT VASH? AND WHY ARE YOU ASKING?

DON'T TELL ME YOU TWO INNOCENT-LOOKING THINGS

ARE AFTER THAT SIXTY BILLION DOUBLE-DOLLAR REWARD.

- OH, NOT AT ALL. - YEAH, ACTUALLY,

WE'RE JUST PASSING THROUGH HERE ON BUSINESS.

- BUSINESS? WELL, I DIDN'T EXACTLY SEE HIM, MYSELF.

AS FAR AS I CAN TELL, HE WAS GONE FROM THE CITY BY DAWN.

LAST I HEARD, HE WAS HEADED OUT TO THE EAST.

- CAN YOU TELL ME ANY MORE ABOUT HIM?

- HMM, WELL, HE STANDS ABOUT 12 FIELDS TALL.

AND HE WIELDS A HUGE WEAPON. - Men: HUH?!

- Chef: HE'S SUPPOSED TO HAVE A MOHAWK.

AND NERVES OF STEEL. - ( chuckles )

- APPARENTLY, HE'S GOT TONS OF HENCHMEN.

AND A REPUTATION AS THE WORST WOMANIZER

ANYONE'S EVER SEEN.

- WOMANIZER! - I HEARD WHAT HE SAID,

"A HUGE WEAPON AND A MOHAWK."

THAT'S OUR MAN, ALL RIGHT.

- WHERE IS HE? WHERE THE HELL DID HE GO?

I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO DIG UP THE WHOLE AREA--

I WANT YOU TO FIND IT.

- WELL, BOSS, I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

THAT LITTLE COWARD COULDN'T BE HIM.

I DON'T SEE ANY POINT IN STICKING AROUND THIS PLACE.

LET'S JUST MOVE-- WAIT!

- SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BIG ENOUGH TO GIVE ME ORDERS NOW,

YOU LITTLE WEASEL, HUH?

YOU SAW WHAT HE WAS WEARING. YOU KNOW THAT IT'S HIM.

FIND HIM NO MATTER WHAT OR I'LL HAVE TO BREAK YOUR NECK.

OKAY? - YES, BOSS!

( screams )

( gasping )

I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA SUFFOCATE A MINUTE THERE.

IT'S VASH!

UGH!

- HI, THERE. PARDON ME.

THANKS FOR NOTHING, FELLAS.

( empty rounds click )

( laughing )

( screams )

THAT WAS A PRETTY CLOSE ONE.

ALMOST BOUGHT THE FARM BACK THERE.

IT'S ACTUALLY A MIRACLE THAT I GOT AWAY WITH IT THIS TIME.

- I FOUND HIM! OVER THERE!

( screams )

PERFECT SHOT! - ( gunfire )

( screams, pants )

- WELL, HE THINKS HE'S FUNNY.

HUNT HIM DOWN. - RIGHT.

( panting )

I'M GETTING HUNGRY.

THEY'RE PERSISTENT.

HA HAHAHA!

I'M LIKE A SITTING DUCK OVER HERE.

I'M DEFENSELESS! - ( grunts )

HUH? UH...

OH, SHIT.

NOW, STAND REAL STILL.

YOU WOULDN'T WANT THIS GUN TO GO OFF, WOULD YOU?

- ( gulps ) I FOUND HIM!

HE'S RIGHT OVER HERE, BOSS!

- UH, WOULD YOU MIND LOWERING YOUR GUN

LIKE A GOOD BOY? - FORGET IT.

- YOU DON'T LIKE PAIN, DO YOU? - I'M USE TO IT.

- WELL, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR WIFE AND KIDS.

YOU'LL MAKE 'EM CRY. - I AIN'T GOT NO KIDS

AND MOST WOMEN FIND ME PRETTY OFFENSIVE. SO I'M SINGLE!

- SOUNDS LIKE A PRETTY LONELY LIFE.

I'M TELLING YOU...

YOU HAVE TO DIE.

IT WOULD SURE MAKE US ALL HAPPY IF YOU DO.

SORRY, I DON'T DO REQUESTS.

- ( metal swishes ) - HUH? GET DOWN!

( screams )

- ( rumbling ) - ( groans )

BOSS! HELP ME!

- HUH, THAT'S GOOD WORK. MY COMPLIMENTS.

- BOSS, IT HURTS. - ATTACKING WHILE YOUR PAL

IS IN THE LINE OF FIRE. - IT HURTS! HELP ME.

- DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT HIM AT ALL?

- HELP. - WE'RE NOT PALS.

OUR FATE IS OUR BEING PARTNERS.

THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY HE CAN BE HAPPY

IS WHEN I'M HAPPY.

THAT'S JUST BEAUTIFUL.

- YOU CAN SHOOT ME IF THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

THAT IS IF YOUR BIG GUN OF YOURS

ISN'T JUST FOR SHOW. - ACTUALLY, I CAN'T STAND BLOOD.

JUST THE VERY SIGHT OF IT MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE FAINT.

- FINE THEN. HOW ABOUT WE FIND OUT

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET TO SEE YOUR OWN BLOOD, HUH?

- ( groans ) - NOW, IT WOULD

MAKE ME REAL HAPPY IF YOU GO HOLD HIM DOWN.

UGH!

( both grunt )

( whimpers )

- THERE NOW. DO YOU SEE HOW DEVOTED HE IS?

( shivers )

HEY, COULDN'T YOU GUYS BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE GENTLE?

( animal groans )

- ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE CARGO

TO THE FEDS RIGHT AWAY.

- HAHAHAHA! - YEAH! HAHA!

YEAH, WE'RE GONNA BE FILTHY RICH.

( both laugh )

HUH?

( animal groans )

- WOMEN. ARE THEY FRIENDS OF HIS?

- Leader: WELL, ARE THEY GONNA TRY AND STEAL OUR REWARD?

- WE'RE GOING IN. - RIGHT.

( groans )

NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- I'M VERY PLEASED TO MEET YOU.

MY NAME IS MERYL.