Episode #1.1

Halt!

In formation!

Ah. Hey, Prefix, let me go in front.

-No, Suffix, you go behind! -What is your problem?

Why can't you keep in line?

Excuse me, children, excuse me.

By Toutatis, your chief, Vitalstatistix, is coming through!

Come on now, come on, keep calm. There's enough for everybody.

Ah! Thank you, Getafix.

Next!

-Next! -Oh, dear.

Are they all going to have some magic potion, do you think?

Oh, yeah. All except one.

Very good.

No, not for you, Obelix. You fell in when you were a boy.

It's just so unfair. Come on, Dogmatix.

- - Here, Asterix.

Well, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Legion, attack!

Oh, yoo-hoo, Pidiped!

-Ready! -

Spread out now!

-In staggered rows! -

Regroup now! Tortoise!

- -I'm feeling a bit weak, Getafix.

No, Obelix, no magic potion for you.

I told you a thousand times that you fell in…

Okay, okay, I get it.

Where's your helmet? Huh?

Where is your hat?

Fall back now!

Run away!

It's good of them to keep attacking when they know they can't win. Right, Asterix?

These Romans are crazy!

- -

THE BIG FIGHT

Asterix?

Asterix?

- -

Oh. You nearly scared Dogmatix.

Yeah, but I'm the winner, aren't I?

Your turn to go first.

Oh, all right.

Where is it? Here! Happy birthday, Asterix!

Oh, wow! You did such a great job.

Wait. Happy birthday, Obelix.

Oh, you remembered it too.

We were born on the same day. Here.

Wow. A four-leaf clover.

It's really rare. It's like a talisman to bring you good luck,

and give you strength.

Give me strength?

Wow, that's great.

It is the year 78 BC.

All of Gaul is free.

Free? Yes.

And life was peaceful in the Gaulish village.

Everyone lived in harmony.

After all, it was the minus '70s.

["It Takes Two" by Marvin Gaye and Kim Weston plays]

- Hello, hello! -Hello, chief.

Hello!

Good day, Chief Copacetix!

No, no, no, no, no, no!

-Hello, chief! -Hello, children.

Hello, Chief Copacetix.

Mmm. Ah!

-Good job. -That's a good stockpile of wood.

Yeah. But we hope the winter won't be so harsh this year.

Oh, I wouldn't worry yourself about that.

'Cause one thing never changes, and that's the climate.

Now, I trust you will enjoy this peaceful and tranquil…

- -

…day.

Getafix?

Getafix?

Are you okay?

No. Not at all.

All right, so… a little bit of this.

Ah, yes.

-Ah, no, no, no, it's still wrong. -Working on your tragic potion, then?

-"Magic". -Yeah.

I continue my research to no avail.

-The recipe's lost to the mists of time. -Oh, yeah, the mists of time.

You're not gonna find it tonight then, are you?

And that indeed is a problem.

I'm worried about the rise of Julius Caesar.

Once in power, if he chooses to invade Gaul,

we won't stand a chance against his army.

Oh, you worry over nothing, Getafix.

This Caesar has no future.

Let's hope so.

Well, the children are waiting.

And that salute of his?

It'll never catch on.

According to tradition, the Big Fight is organized

when two villages have a conflict.

The chiefs of the villages meet at a specific place

and fight in front of their tribes. It's…

Asterix, I'm scared.

I'm not sure I know our mushroom presentation very well.

You'll be fine, don't worry.

After the fight, the loser and his tribe must submit to the victor.

It's really hard.

That's how the great Chief Vercingetorix…

No, no, I swear. I just can't do it.

-Let's have a rehearsal. -Uh-huh.

Cap of red with white dots…

Touch you not! White dots with cap of red, run in dread!

Hey.

You two, concentrate.

Please continue, Impedimenta.

And finally…

Long live our village, by Toutatis!

Well done, Impedimenta and Vitalstatistix. The work of born leaders.

And now, as you're "the inseparables"

and you like to chatter away, you can talk in front of the class.

Don't fret, it's okay.

There are two kinds of mushroom in the forest.

Those that are edible, that you can eat,

and they are delicious.

And the poisonous ones, that can make you really sick.

Isn't that right, Obelix?

Erm?

Mushrooms.

Er…

And therefore not all mushrooms are suitable to eat.

Cap of red with white dots, touch you not!

Touch you not!

White dots with cap of red…

…run in dread.

Er… and so this is what happens when you eat a poisonous mushroom.

Oh, yes. Very theatrical!

Well done, boys. All right, class dismissed.

Go and have a snack.

Finally!

Obelix?

Obelix.

-How did it go? -Well!

-But I had to talk for the both of us. -

That's what friends are for, though. Right?

["Bad to The Bone" by George Thorogood and the Destroyers plays]

What an utter dump this is.

- Hello, Chief Copacetix. -Hello, hello.

Oh, here's the little angel!

-Hello, Cassius Ceramix. -

We'll only be gone a few days. Are you sure it's all right?

Of course!

We have to help out our neighbours from time to time, don't we?

And everyone loves him here.

-Mmm! -

Are you sure your clover brings good luck?

Why are you hitting yourself, huh? Eh?

-Tell me, what are you doing? -Enough, Cassius Ceramix!