South Park

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MOM ! MOM !

MOM, SERIOUSLY !

SOMETHING WONDERFUL HAS HAPPENED !

WHAT IS IT, SNOOKUMS ?

MOM, LOOK-- THE TOOTH FAIRY !

I PUT A TOOTH UNDER MY PILLOW

AND SHE GAVE ME $2.00 !

SHE'S ONLY GIVEN ME A LOUSY QUARTER BEFORE !

OH MY, SHE MUST THINK THAT

YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL LITTLE MUFFIN.

YEAH, THIS IS SO TITS !

DON'T SAY "TITS", ERIC.

OH, I MEAN, THIS IS SO COOL!

WELL, PERHAPS NOW YOU SHOULD TAKE THAT MONEY

AND OPEN UP A SAVINGS ACCOUNT

THAT HAS COMPOUNDED DAILY INTEREST.

HEH, YOU CAN COMPOUND DAILY MY ASS WITH INTEREST, MOM

I'M GOIN' TO THE TOY STORE, AND BUY ME A SKATEBOARD.

BUT ERIC, I THINK MAYBE

THE TOOTH FAIRY WANTS YOU TO USE THAT MONEY

TO LEARN ABOUT SAVING.

MOM, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE TOOTH FAIRY

WANTS ME TO DO WITH THIS MONEY, OKAY ?

YOU'RE NOT THE TOOTH FAIRY !

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

OH MAN, THIS IS SO TITS !

YOU GUYS, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS !

OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS ! JUST WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR THIS, YOU GUYS !

I'M RICH ! I'M TOTALLY RICH ! AREN'T YOU STOKED ?

WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH CARTMAN ?

HE'S FAT AND HE'S STUPID ?

LOOK AT WHAT THE TOOTH FAIRY LEFT ME LAST NIGHT !

$2.OO !

NO WAY !

FOR ONE TOOTH ?

FOR ONE TOOTH !

DUDE, EVERY TIME I LOST A TOOTH, I ONLY GOT A QUARTER.

I ONLY GOT A JAR OF GEFILTE FISH.

WELL, THAT DOESN'T MATTER,

BECAUSE I HAVE AN IDEA THAT IS TOTALLY TITS !

TOTALLY WHAT ?

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHY THE TOOTH FAIRY

IS BEING SO COOL TO ME,

MAYBE SHE'S HOT FOR ME, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT IF WE ALL CHIP IN WITH TEETH,

THEN I CAN HIDE THEM UNDER MY PILLOW

AND WE CAN GET ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY A SEGA DREAMCAST !

SEGA DREAMCAST ?

ALL WE NEED IS TEETH.

I ALREADY LOST ALL MY BABY TEETH.

ME TOO !

UH-UH !

YOU STILL HAVE BABY TEETH, KENNY ?

MPH-MMP !

KENNY, THINK ABOUT IT !

DON'T YOU WANT A SEGA DREAMCAST ?

NO, I DON'T ! THANK YOU

ALRIGHT, KENNY'S IN, YOU GUYS !

TITS !

OKAY, THE STRING IS TIED TO KENNY'S TOOTH,

YOU READY OVER THERE ?

ALMOST, YOU READY, TIMMY ?

TIMMY !

WHEN I SAY GO,

YOU SLAM YOUR ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR INTO HIGH GEAR, OKAY, TIMMY ?

TIMMY !

RIGHT, YOU'RE TIMMY.

TIMMY ! GIMME A-YAH !

MPHH-MPHH...

I'LL TELL YOU WHY IT HAS TO BE YOU, KENNY.

BECAUSE YOUR FAMILY IS POOR,

AND THEREFORE HAS BAD ORAL HYGENE

SO YOUR TEETH ARE GONNA FALL OUT SOMEDAY, ANYWAY.

IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT,

YOU SHOULD ACTUALLY BE THANKING US.

OH, THANK YOU, GUYS !

YOU'RE WELCOME, KENNY !

F-PHK-YMPH !

ALRIGHT, GET READY, TIMMY.

TIMMY !

HEY, GUYS, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' ?

WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE, BUTTERS ?

WE NEED A TOOTH,

SO WE'RE USING TIMMY'S WHEELCHAIR

TO PULL OUT ONE OF KENNY'S.

OH, HEY, I GOT A LOOSE TOOTH RIGHT HERE.

YOU WHAT ? YOU WHAT ?

YOU WHAT !

TIMMY !

YEP, ONE OF MINE CAME OUT NOT TWO HOURS AGO.

UH, BUTTERS, COULD WE HAVE IT ?

WELL, HECK NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT !

WHY I'M GONNA STICK IT UNDER MY PILLOW

AND GET MONEY FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY,

SHE ALWAYS GIVES ME 50¢ A TOOTH !

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU, FELLAS !

DUDE, MAYBE WE DON'T HAVE TO

RIP A TOOTH OUT OF KENNY'S MOUTH.

YEAH, WE JUST HAVE TO GET BUTTERS' TOOTH .

WHOO-HOO !

HOW WE GONNA GET IT FROM 'IM ?

I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO SNEAK INTO HIS HOUSE

AFTER HE GOES TO SLEEP TONIGHT.

YEAH, LET'S GO !

GO, TIMMY, GO !

NO, TIMMY, WAIT !

THING WON'T GIMME !

OH !

HEY, YOU GUYS, I CAN SEE KENNY'S LITTLE PING-A-LING !

WA-AAA !

HIGHER, YOU GUYS !

CHRIST, WHY DID WE PICK THE FAT GUY TO LIFT UP ?

OW ! CAREFUL, YOU ASSHOLES !

TO THE LEFT, YOU GUYS, LEFT !

NO, CAMERA LEFT ! CAMERA LEFT !

THAT'S IT, NOW DOWN !

WHAT THE-- WHO'S THERE ? WHO IS THAT ?

I AM THE TOOTH FAIRY, MY CHILD.

OH, SORRY, MISS FAIRY, I DIDN'T MEAN TO GAZE AT YOU,

I'M BACK ASLEEP NOW, SEE ?

YES ! NOW I WILL LEAVE YOU TIDINGS UNDER YOUR PILLOW !

OH, GOSH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D BE SO FAT.

HEY !

COME ON, FAT ASS !

DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES UNTIL MORNING

OR ELSE I WILL KICK YOU IN THE NUTS...

AHH, IN THE NUTS.

YES, MA'AM !

WELL ?

BULLSEYE !

I LOVE THAT SONG, MOM. SING IT AGAIN !

NO, HONEY, MOMMY'S GOT TO SAVE HER THROAT.

I HAVE TO WORK TONIGHT !

OKAY.

GOODNIGHT !

WHAT DO YOU HAVE THERE, ERIC ?

ANOTHER TOOTH FELL OUT TODAY.

I'M LEAVIN' IT FOR THE TOOTH FAIRY.

OH MY, THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL HAVE TO GIVE YOU

A BIG SURPRISE FOR LOSING TWO TEETH IN TWO DAYS !

I KNOW, HUH ?

YOU GUYS ! OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE IT !

IT'S BEYOND RATIONAL THOUGHT!

HOLY CRAP, YOU GUYS !

DID THE TOOTH FAIRY COME ?

$4.OO !

OH MY GOD ! OH MY GOD !

DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS ?

YEAH, WE JUST GOTTA KEEP FINDING TEETH

AND PUTTING THEM UNDER YOUR PILLOW.

DENTIST OFFICE.

OH HELLO, DR. ROBERTS ? IT'S MISS CARTMAN.

OH, YES, MISS CARTMAN, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU ?

WELL, IT'S MY SON,

HE'S LOST A LOT OF HIS BABY TEETH

AND I WAS STARTING TO GET WORRIED.

WELL, LOSING BABY TEETH IS A NATURAL THING, MISS CARTMAN.

HOW MANY HAS HE LOST ?

ABOUT 112.

112 ?

YES, 15 OF THEM IN ONE NIGHT.

PERHAPS HE SHOULD SWITCH TOOTHPASTE ?

YOUR SON WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO BE AN ALLIGATOR, WOULD HE, NO ?

HMMM, I SEE.

WELL, I'M AFRAID I CAN'T HELP YOU RIGHT NOW.

THE AMERICAN DENTAL ASSOCIATION CONVENTION IS THIS WEEK,

BUT AS SOON AS I GET BACK, I'LL LOOK INTO IT.

OH, THANK YOU. FREEBIE NEXT WEEK !

WHAT ?

DAA--

TOOTH ? WHAT THE HELL ?

MOM !

YES, ERIC.

THE STUIPID TOOTH FAIRY FORGOT TO BRING ME MONEY LAST NIGHT.

CALL THE POLICE !

OH, ERIC-POOPY, SIT DOWN,

MOMMY HAS SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

IT'S JUST THAT... WELL

THERE IS NO TOOTH FAIRY, ERIC.

I'VE BEEN PUTTING ALL THAT MONEY UNDER YOUR PILLOW

AND BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD SO MANY TEETH FALL OUT,

I'VE ACTUALLY RUN OUT OF MONEY

AND CAN'T GO TO THE GROCERY STORE FOR AT LEAST A MONTH.

YOU ALMOST HAD ME FOR A SECOND THERE, MOM.

"THERE'S NO TOOTH FAIRY"

I SUPPOSE NEXT YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME

THERE'S NO SANTA CLAUS, EASTER BUNNY, OR JESUS EITHER.

MOM ?

I'M SORRY, ERIC, ALL CHILDREN FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER.

YOU'RE SERIOUS ?

THERE REALLY IS NO TOOTH FAIRY ?

NO HONEY, IT'S JUST--

HOW COULD YOU LIE TO ME, MOTHER ?