How I Live Now

Imagine yourself being successful.

Five exercises to make your butt smaller.

77 best-loved cooking recipes.

Big, fat, ugly butt.

The possession of willpower and self-discipline

can be the factor leading to success.

Useless bitch. 88 lbs.

You're disgusting, do you know that?

Focus on your goal.

Sensitivity or allergy can reduce...

God, I hate poor people... in the body.

What is your problem?! Hair is your crowning glory.

If you've got it... Fuck you!

Then style it in a way that flatters your face

and choose a great color if you don't like your own.

If you want to, try some teeth-whitening solutions.

Teen-dating abuse and violence is happening everywhere.

Take risks. Fat bitch.

Step out of your comfort zone.

Successful people think big and act big.

Why men pull away.

Remember that success does not guarantee happiness.

Accept life is unfair. Are my hips normal?

Accept life is unfair.

Fact. Eggs can live... Don't give up.

If you don't give up, you can't fail.

You can't fail. You can't fail. You can't fail.

Hi.

What?

Hi.

Oh, right. Hi. Which one are you?

- Isaac. - No one calls me Elizabeth.

Except my dad, and he's an asshole.

So if you don't mind, my name's Daisy.

Daisy, great.

- Where's your mom? - Working. Um, she sent me.

Do you want me to take that?

Why?

Well, I don't know. It... It might be heavy.

Yeah, it is heavy.

Okay.

Well, um, we should...

we should probably go to the car.

Yeah, sure. Let's go to the car.

...high security. please remain vigilant.

Report any suspicious behavior

immediately to security personnel.

Where are you taking me?

Oh, they charge 15 quid for half an hour's parking.

Sod that.

Jesus.

It's just down here.

Ow!

Here, I'll put it in the car.

What age are you?

- 14. - 14?

You've got a license?

No, but I've been driving since I was six.

You expect me to get in this thing? With you?

Well, you could get a bus if you'd rather.

Fine yeah, I would.

It does take about eight hours though.

And the next one's not due until 11:00...

tomorrow morning.

Welcome, by the way...

Uh-huh.

...to England.

Shit!

Careful!

Jesus Christ.

Sorry. I'm better when there's no cars around.

So are you gonna stay with us for the whole summer?

What, I just got here.

You want to get rid of me already?

No, no, no, not at all.

We've been really looking forward to meeting you.

Piper especially. She's the only girl

most of the time, and you're our only cousin.

So you're gonna be like a guest of honor.

Road!

Yeah well, just so you know

I'm not one of those stupid yanks who's gonna

kiss your ass the whole time because you're British, okay?

- Okay. - Okay.

Have we bonded now? Can we just shut up and drive?

Yeah. Um, well,

You're the boss.

What is this?

Here we are. Welcome home.

- She's here, mom! She's here! - Get your dog away from me.

Push 'em away, Daisy. They'll be fine.

- Jet! Get down! - Go... get off of me!

- Jet, get off! - Get off, Jet!

- Jet, get off! - Enough!

Get off, Jet! Get down!

Ugh, move!

Come here.

Jet, back!

Are you okay?

Allergy to wheat can produce

a variety of symptoms.

How to be... fucking loser, fucking loser.

Sorry about the dogs.

They just... they just get overexcited.

Hey, wait a second.

- Who is that? - Edmond.

- Edmond? - He's the oldest.

And this is Piper.

She's our baby.

I'm not a baby!

Elizabeth, would you like to see my unicorn?

- Um, probably not. - Piper, leave her alone.

- Elizabeth, you're American. - It's Daisy.

No one calls me Elizabeth. And if you don't mind,

what I'd really like to see is my room.

I need to wash my hands, like, right now.

I've got some kind of canine S.T.D.

I'll take that.

Oh hey. This is Joe.

Hi.

He's our next-door neighbor.

Well, sort of.

But he lives with us as much as he can.

That was his dog, Gin.

No, come back.

- Bless you. - Hey, do you want a drink?

No.

And you can wash your hands in the sink if you want.

- Mom! She's here! - Piper, leave her.

- It's not time. - Is your mom out or...?

No, she's in her study.

We don't usually see her before 9:00.

She's an expert in loony extremists.

- She's going to save the world. - Piper, shut up.

- Take cousin Daisy to her room. - Come on, cousin Daisy.

I need to give you the grand tour of the house.

This is my unicorn I was telling you about.

Shh, that's mommy's office.

Now we will come up the stairs.

That's the junk room that Joe sleeps in sometimes

when his dad's being a wanker.

I know what a wanker is, by the way.

And in here is your room.

You've so got the best bed in the house.

Uh-huh.

Well, I think my dad's

probably trying to get through to me, so...

I'd kind of like to yell at him in private.

So can you leave?

Now, please?

All right.

Can I get you a cup of tea?

No thanks.

Glamorous, confident girl.

I hope you get killed. Dumb baby, dumb baby.

Stop slouching.

Avoid self-pity.

Itching, rashes, watery eyes,

watery eyes, watery eyes...

What do you wanna do today, man?

Don't really mind.

- I wanna go fishing. - Mmm.

- Go and get some fish, man. - Hey.

Cousin Daisy at last!

We thought you'd never get up.

Morning. Sit wherever you like.

We've made enough for about a thousand people.

Mom has an emergency meeting in London.

She said she's sorry, and she'll see you this evening.

There's going to be a World War III.

No, there isn't. Stop being a dick,

and get Daisy something to eat.

I'm not a dick!

- I'm actually not that hungry. - Dick dick dick.

All right, Jet, I'm doing it.

We let you sleep in.

Eddie said you needed to catch up on some rest.

- Did he? - Are you a vampire?

No.

How much dead animal do you want?

I'm really not hungry.

If you want, I can make you a sandwich.

We've got some really nice cheese.

No. I don't do wheat or cow cheese.

- Cow cheese? - Knob cheese.

Why don't you eat cow cheese?

Because it's basically solidified cow mucus.

It stays in your gut for like five years.

Morning.

Morning.

Did you get through to your dad?

Yeah. He's fine.

Actually, Isaac, could you pass me the water, please?

At least eight glasses of water a day.

Mom said she'd call him as soon as she can.

Let him know you arrived safely and all.

No, that's fine.

He said not to bother.

He's kind of busy with work and the new baby, so...

Increasing the supply