Exit Stage Theft

*

- Hey, Max, did you finally get your guitar strap fixed?

Yep, fixed it myself.

Check it out.

Sock and roll!

*

- Dude, what if that happens at the talent show?

Buy a new strap.

I can't buy a new strap.

I'm broke.

But, hey, we'll rock that talent show

as long as we stay focused.

Guys.

- Ssh, we're trying to stay focused.

Oh, no!

My laptop is gone.

I can't find it.

- Uh, maybe you should retrace your steps.

Good idea.

Uh, before I was here,

I walked into the boy's bathroom by mistake.

Sorry, Gideon.

- It's perfectly normal to go in there

and cry between classes.

Oh.

I remember I put my computer in my backpack

just before the assembly.

- Someone probably stole it there.

I know a kid who got his tablet stolen

at the pep rally last week.

Bummer.

Yeah, I know, that's awful.

- No, the kid's name is Bummer Calloway.

Come on, guys, let's go rehearse.

That computer has all of my homework on it.

None of it's right, but it's done.

Cherry, I am so sorry.

The Hero League put me in charge of protecting a hidden villain.

I can't even prevent my bestie from getting ripped off.

I'm gonna capture this criminal for you, I promise.

Oh, Max!

I need to talk to you.

- Phoebe, I know what you're gonna say,

and, no, I did not steal Cherry's laptop.

- I was just gonna ask if you've heard anything.

I know you didn't steal it.

You're a jerk, you're not heartless.

Take that back!

I am totally heartless!

- Would you like to buy a candy bar

to help save the pandas?

- Oh, how could I say no to that furry little face?

Hey! Phoebe!

Get back here to admit I'm heartless!

- * What you see is not what you get *

* Living our lives with a secret *

* We fit right in, bet you'd never guess *

* Because we're living our lives just like all the rest *

* A picture-perfect family is what we try to be *

* But closer you might see the crazy things we do *

* This isn't make-believe

* It's our reality

* Just your average family trying to be normal *

* And stay out of trouble

* Living a double life *

- And then Phoebe said I couldn't be the bandit

because I'm not heartless.

I see, I see.

And that's why--oh!

What did you do that for?

- For making me agree with Phoebe!

Those band guys you hang out with are too nice!

And it's rubbing off on you!

No, they're not.

And this evil chronicle of my devious deeds

I'm keeping for Dark Mayhem is proof.

This is your evil chronicle.

That is your stupid band scrapbook!

Look, it's us with Santa.

Ow!

Stop throwing stuff at me.

Stop scrapbooking!

You need to ditch those squeaky clean friends of yours.

- Max Thunderman doesn't have friends.

They're just my band, nothing us.

- Then lose them and find some shady characters

to help you fill that chronicle up with bad stuff!

Okay, fine, I will.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

I can help you do bad stuff.

- You know I can't take you out in public.

You can in my evil stroller.

Push me-e-e-e-e!

- Alright, you guys, you ready for a snack?

We actually made our own.

I can't believe it.

Believe it, baby.

- Hank, the kids are doing stuff on their own.

Don't jinx it.

Smile...and back away.

Barb, this family's on autopilot.

- What are we gonna do with all this free time?

"Real Super Wives of Metroburgh"!

We're like a hundred episodes behind.

We can binge watch them all.

- Why are you still talking to me?

Turn on the TV!

*

Billy!

What are you doing in there?

- Playing hide and seek with you guys.

Oh, yeah.

Found you.

It's been four hours!

Sorry.

We looked for you for a while,

but then we started playing outside and we forgot.

- But on the bright side, you can fit into cupboards.

Yeah, Billy!

You guys keep doing this.

This is just like the time

where we were supposed to play Go Fish.

You two forgot me and actually went fishing.

You weren't complaining

when you had a belly full of flounder.

I can have fun without you, too.

I'm gonna go play with my other friend.

Um...

Luigi.

Luigi...Marinara.

He's from Italy.

I'm going over to his house right now for lunch.

We're gonna eat pepperoni right off the tree.

*

Max!

I see you and your friends signed up for the talent show.

- Oh no, they're not my friends.

- They've really cleaned up your act.

My act is not clean.

Good talk.

- Even Bradford thinks I've turned into a nice guy.

I need to find some shady delinquents...and fast.

Cherry's computer.

Hello, shady delinquents.

Ah!

Phoebe, quit creeping up on me like a creepy creep.

- I'm on the prowl for bandit suspects.

Oh, those girls look suspicious.

Ah, forget about those girls.

You asked me if I heard anything, and I did.

Rumor is Brian Jones is your man.

That's the one.

- I'll find out what he's hiding under those hedgehogs.

Hey, ladies.

I'm Max Thunderman.

I just wanted to say I'm a fan.

In fact, I'm in the same line of work.

- And what work are you talking about?

Uh, just this.

- Whoa. - Cool.

Dessert!

- Well, you definitely have some skills.

And you're boy pretty.

I like that.

- I don't even go to this school.

- Come on, we'll let you hang for a while.

Max!

Ah!

Why is everybody creeping?

- Dude, we got something for you.

- Oh guys, you can't be buying me stuff.

You're our friend.

Best-in friend-zins.

Oh, no hugs.

And not best-in friend-zins.

We're just a band.

Ouch.

- What are you talking about, man?

We're all friends.

And you started the gift giving

when you made us these scrapbooks.

Give me those.

Max Thunderman doesn't have friends.

And now he doesn't have a band.

I'm out.

What just happened?

I don't know.

But I'll be in the bathroom.

- Okay, Chloe, got all your pads on.

Let's roll!

- Whoa, look who's hanging out again.

- We're just going scooting down by the--

- Excuse me, my friend is calling.

Hey, Luigi.

Qué pasta?

That's Italian for "How's it going?"

Sure, I'll come over again.

Hasta lasagna.

- Oh, hey, when do I get to meet Luigi?

Whenever you want.