Bloody Bloody Bible Camp

JESUS PROBABLY HAD A BIG PENIS.

YEAH. SO, I THINK IT WOULD ONLY BE

SO, I THINK IT WOULD ONLY BE CHRISTIAN OF US -- GOOD GIRLS OF

CHRISTIAN OF US -- GOOD GIRLS OF US -- TO HAVE SEX WITH GUYS WITH

US -- TO HAVE SEX WITH GUYS WITH PENISES LIKE JESUS.

PENISES LIKE JESUS. ABSOLUTELY.

ABSOLUTELY. I THINK SO.

I THINK SO. WE -- WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO

WE -- WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO FOR GUYS THAT LOOK LIKE JESUS.

FOR GUYS THAT LOOK LIKE JESUS. OH, YEAH. OH, GOD.

OH, YEAH. OH, GOD. THOSE GUYS DO NOT LOOK LIKE

THOSE GUYS DO NOT LOOK LIKE JESUS.

JESUS. SO, I SAW "STAR WARS."

SO, I SAW "STAR WARS." YEAH? HOW IS IT?

YEAH? HOW IS IT? TERRIBLE.

TERRIBLE. OH, YEAH?

OH, YEAH? YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH, IT LOOKS LAME.

YEAH, IT LOOKS LAME. IT'S GONNA BOMB.

IT'S GONNA BOMB. THE BIBLE TELLS ME TO BE

THE BIBLE TELLS ME TO BE RESPECTFUL TO WOMEN.

RESPECTFUL TO WOMEN. I'VE GOTTEN A LOT OF SLICE

I'VE GOTTEN A LOT OF SLICE THIS WHOLE CAMP, ALL RIGHT?

THIS WHOLE CAMP, ALL RIGHT?

HI, FATHER BOBBINGS.

HI, FATHER BOBBINGS. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT

DID YOU HEAR ABOUT ELLEN BARRETT?

ELLEN BARRETT? WOW.

WOW. A WOMAN ORDAINED.

A WOMAN ORDAINED. HE WAS THE KING OF

HE WAS THE KING OF ROCK 'N' ROLL.

ROCK 'N' ROLL. I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE HIM

I JUST BOUGHT TICKETS TO SEE HIM NEXT WEEK.

NEXT WEEK. I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GONE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S GONE. I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S THE WANG

I'M NOT SURE IF IT'S THE WANG OR THE...UNDERGARDEN.

OR THE...UNDERGARDEN. OH, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW. YEAH.

OH, YEAH. I DON'T KNOW. YEAH. 'CAUSE THERE'S A BULGE.

'CAUSE THERE'S A BULGE. THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON

THERE'S SOMETHING GOING ON THERE.

THERE. I'M SO EXCITED.

I'M SO EXCITED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS ARE TALKING ABOUT, BUT I PLAN ON

ARE TALKING ABOUT, BUT I PLAN ON PORKING THE...OUT OF BAMBI OUT

PORKING THE...OUT OF BAMBI OUT THERE.

THERE. AND I PLAN ON BEING BALLS

AND I PLAN ON BEING BALLS 00.

00. ...GUYS, LANGUAGE!

...GUYS, LANGUAGE! ...NERDS ARE CRAZY.

...NERDS ARE CRAZY. OH, YEAH?

OH, YEAH? LOOK AT THESE GUYS.

LOOK AT THESE GUYS. YEAH...NUT?

YEAH...NUT? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE THERE, SON?

THERE, SON? THIS IS GRADE-A GENUINE

THIS IS GRADE-A GENUINE SPANISH FLY, GENTLEMEN.

SPANISH FLY, GENTLEMEN. ...LET ME SEE THAT.

...LET ME SEE THAT. IT'S REAL.

IT'S REAL. COME ON.

COME ON. WELL, WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

WELL, WHERE'D YOU GET IT? MY BROTHER GOT IT FOR ME WHEN

MY BROTHER GOT IT FOR ME WHEN HE WAS DOWN IN MEXICO.

HE WAS DOWN IN MEXICO. OH, REALLY?

OH, REALLY? YEAH, MAN.

YEAH, MAN. THESE ARE FROM THE GREAT STATE

THESE ARE FROM THE GREAT STATE OF "MEHICO."

OF "MEHICO." YOU YOUNG MEN ARE FULL OF...

YOU YOUNG MEN ARE FULL OF... BROTHER BEAU, LANGUAGE.

BROTHER BEAU, LANGUAGE.

I NEVER EVEN LISTENED TO

I NEVER EVEN LISTENED TO ELVIS.

ELVIS. PLUS, WASN'T HE A BIG FAT DRUG

PLUS, WASN'T HE A BIG FAT DRUG ADDICT, ANYWAY?

ADDICT, ANYWAY? NO WONDER HE'S DEAD.

NO WONDER HE'S DEAD.

YOU LITTLE...

YOU LITTLE... WHAT DID YOU SAY?

WHAT? THE POOR MAN HAD AN EATING

THE POOR MAN HAD AN EATING DISORDER, THAT'S ALL.

DISORDER, THAT'S ALL.

GOD...

GOD...

FATHER?

FATHER? I'M SORRY!

I'M SORRY! LOOKS LIKE SCHOOL'S IN

LOOKS LIKE SCHOOL'S IN SESSION, BOYS.

SESSION, BOYS. GO GET THEM, I GUESS.

GO GET THEM, I GUESS. LOSERS.

LOSERS. WE'LL SEE.

WE'LL SEE. LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS GUY.

GUY. BRUSH YOUR TEETH, FELLA.

BRUSH YOUR TEETH, FELLA.

YOU GOT TO REALLY WORK FOR

YOU GOT TO REALLY WORK FOR THOSE YOUNG MEN'S SOULS.

THOSE YOUNG MEN'S SOULS. SMELL THAT JIZZ.

SMELL THAT JIZZ.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, FATHER BOBBINGS?

FATHER BOBBINGS? THESE KIDS -- THEY DON'T

THESE KIDS -- THEY DON'T RESPECT ANYTHING.

RESPECT ANYTHING.

YEAH, I KNOW.

YEAH, I KNOW. CAN I GET A SIP OF THAT?

CAN I GET A SIP OF THAT? HMM?

HMM? OH, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.

OH, KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. GIVE ME A TASTE.

GIVE ME A TASTE. SPLASH A LITTLE LOVE IN

SPLASH A LITTLE LOVE IN THERE.

THERE. WE DON'T WANT THESE BROADS

WE DON'T WANT THESE BROADS THINKING THEY GOT NAKED ON THEIR

THINKING THEY GOT NAKED ON THEIR OWN IN THE MORNING, HUH?

OWN IN THE MORNING, HUH?

OOH.

OOH. OOOOH.

OOOOH. ...DID YOU BRING ENOUGH?

...DID YOU BRING ENOUGH?

JUST EXCITED.

JUST EXCITED. YEAH, ME TOO.

YEAH, ME TOO. THIS IS GONNA MAKE THESE...

THIS IS GONNA MAKE THESE... HORNY.

HORNY. SYLVESTER STALLONE IS THE

SYLVESTER STALLONE IS THE CUTEST ACTOR OUT THERE RIGHT

CUTEST ACTOR OUT THERE RIGHT NOW.

NOW. I MEAN, I KNOW HE'S SHORT.

I MEAN, I KNOW HE'S SHORT. YEAH.

YEAH. BUT I BET HE HAS A REALLY

BUT I BET HE HAS A REALLY LONG CANNOLI.

LONG CANNOLI.

TOTALLY.

TOTALLY. I'LL TAKE THAT.

I'LL TAKE THAT. AH!

AH! HI, CHAZZ.

HI, CHAZZ. SCRAM, WILL YOU?

SCRAM, WILL YOU? I'M TRYING TO DO SOMETHING HERE.

I'M TRYING TO DO SOMETHING HERE. BUT I --

BUT I -- I SAID SCRAM, GOD...IT!

I SAID SCRAM, GOD...IT!

YEAH, I JUST SAW

YEAH, I JUST SAW "SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT," AND I

"SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT," AND I THINK BURT REYNOLDS IS THE

THINK BURT REYNOLDS IS THE HOTTEST.

HOTTEST. I SAW THAT, TOO.

I SAW THAT, TOO. YEAH.

YEAH. AND I REALLY LOVE HIS

AND I REALLY LOVE HIS MUSTACHE.

MUSTACHE. I WOULD...HIS BRAINS --

I WOULD...HIS BRAINS -- LADIES.

LADIES. OOH!

OOH! SOME VERY SPECIAL DRINKS FOR

SOME VERY SPECIAL DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF VERY SPECIAL LADIES.

A COUPLE OF VERY SPECIAL LADIES. MMM.

MMM. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. SURE.

SURE. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. HEY, UH, DON'T WORRY, DWAYNE.

HEY, UH, DON'T WORRY, DWAYNE. WE LEFT ONE IN THERE FOR YOU.

UNBELIEVABLE. SOMEONE OUGHT TO KILL THOSE

SOMEONE OUGHT TO KILL THOSE GUYS.

GUYS. CUT OFF THEIR --

CUT OFF THEIR -- PAYBACKS ARE...CHAZZ.

PAYBACKS ARE...CHAZZ.

I'M FINE.

I'M FINE. IT'S FINE.

IT'S FINE.

OW.

OW. MNH.

MNH. IT'S FINE.

IT'S FINE. DO YOU -- DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM?

DO YOU -- DO YOU HAVE ANY GUM? YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. IS IT IN YOUR MOUTH?

IS IT IN YOUR MOUTH? YEAH.

YEAH. OKAY.

OKAY. THAT IS FAR OUT, MAN.

THAT IS FAR OUT, MAN. OH, MY GOD.

OH, MY GOD. OH, YES.

OH, YES. MMM.

MMM. SAVE SOME FOR US, HUH?

SAVE SOME FOR US, HUH? BREAK IT UP THERE -- OHH.

BREAK IT UP THERE -- OHH. SORRY, BUT I GOT TO TAKE BAMBI.

SORRY, BUT I GOT TO TAKE BAMBI.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

YOU'RE COMING WITH ME. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO WITH HER.

HER. I'M TAKING BAMBI.

I'M TAKING BAMBI. CHAZZ!

CHAZZ!

SO...

SO... SO...

SO... THERE THEY GO.

THERE THEY GO. YEAH.

YEAH. BETTY, I WANT TO DO YOU.

BETTY, I WANT TO DO YOU. LET'S GO.

LET'S GO. OKAY.

OKAY.

WHOA!

GOD...THESE USELESS PUNK KIDS.

KIDS. OHH!

OHH! AAH!

AAH! OH, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE