My Perfect Romance

Hello.

Hey, Viv. Are you up?

Hmm. Barely.

How are you so perky this early in the morning?

Well, like Mom always said,

"The early bird gets the worm."

She did say that.

Mostly to me.

Another all-nighter?

Yeah, story of my life.

What's up?

Ah, just trying not to lose my marbles at work.

My students are driving me nuts.

Ha! Story of my life.

Oh, get this.

So this little boy yesterday, he spent two hours gluing

exactly 17 sequins onto a big red heart.

And when he was done he decided he was allergic to girls.

Hey, a little sympathy for the boys.

They're still trying to figure it all out.

What? It's second grade.

They haven't got love all figured out by now?

Maybe he's onto something.

I know for a fact you are not allergic to girls.

So, Viv, any big plans?

You going anywhere nice, with anyone nice?

You really can't help yourself, can you?

Well?

Well, no.

I'm not going "anywhere nice with anyone nice."

What about your algorithm?

Well, we haven't launched it yet.

It won't be for a couple months.

When it is, you're going to sign up, right?

Maybe... eventually.

Well, I hope you do.

I can't wait for you to meet your perfect match.

For you.

-My favorite. -

Oh!

Three-flavored pudding. You get me!

Oh, let me guess.

Vanilla, butterscotch, chocolate?

It's a balanced meal.

So tell me, Viv, what exactly does a love scientist

put on their dating profile, anyway?

Software developer...

who is creating a dating algorithm

so people can find true love.

We are a lot like love scientists,

but the fellowship is completely different.

Are you ready for eggs a la Wes Robinson?

Thank you, sweetheart.

Your, ah, eggs a la Wes Robinson are burning.

- Weston. -Hello, mother.

To what do I owe this pleasure?

I've been calling you all morning.

The Nikkei has been open for hours.

I was busy.

I have to go.

Call me.

Wes, where do you find these women?

I mean, doesn't it sometimes get just a little tiresome?

So, is there a reason you're calling so early?

Don't you have an empire to run?

Exactly.

Your division, Robinson Tech, is down two points.

Now, is there something you'd like to tell me?

Hmm.

I love you...

Mother dearest?

Oh, Wes.

You know, when I appointed you head of the tech division,

I expected you to run it well.

I will.

Just after this cup of coffee.

Yeah, maybe you just don't have the acumen I thought you had.

Or maybe you have just too many distractions...

Maybe you should stop worrying so much.

Oh, but, Wes, I do worry.

You know, when you were young your father always used to say about you--

I'm not really interested in what my father always said.

Well, all right.

Maybe this is something you will be interested in.

If you don't manage to turn this around,

I'll have to rethink your position in the company.

How's that?

Craft battles? Really?

You should've heard the drama between this little boy and girl

over glitter glue.

They wound up with it in their hair.

Michelle, just tell your students that most long term relationships

result from a mutual pursuit.

Not glitter glue.

Listen, I just got to the office and I've got a lot of work to do today.

You work too much, you know that?

I mean, you need to take time and enjoy life.

When's the last time you went on a date?

OK, I really got to go.

I'll talk to you later. Love you. Bye.

Love you.

Hey, guys.

It took me all night, but I think I solved

the data streaming problem.

-Ha-ha-ha! -Way to go, Viv!

Purfect!

Why don't you leave that picture there,

rather than bring it back and forth every day.

I wouldn't want Liz to be left alone overnight.

It's a picture!

Oh, come on. Give him a break will you.

Ugh!

No matches again!

Justine! My Perfect Match isn't even live yet.

-There's no one to match to. -I know.

It's just a big fat zero is another reminder of my lonely, pathetic life.

Well, maybe you should get a cat.

Yes!

I don't want a cat!

I want to meet a man.

A good man!

Sure, I've met a lot of men.

Sometimes more than once!

But a good one...

You know what I'm talking about.

Vivian is concentrating on her career right now.

She solved the data streaming problem!

Thanks, George.

That's just as fulfilling as a relationship.

Are you kidding me?

You two need to get out there!

You need to grab some hot bull by the horns

and just hold on for dear life

and hope that he's not secretly married!

And you need to grab...

a cow by the horns?

That sounds weird.

Yeah, I should.

I mean, I can be spontaneous!

Except for Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.

That's when I take Liz to the vet for her diabetes medication.

Guys, dating isn't about spontaneity or how hot somebody is.

Relationships that are based on physical attraction

don't result in longevity or marriage!

Oh.

It's, it's about compatibility!

That's why our dating algorithm,

will be better than anything else!

There's all this stress about dating!

What to wear?

Should I shave my legs?

Of course.

Who pays the bill?

All that for someone that you're never going to see again.

Yeah! Or they don't call you back because you're "too aggressive"!

-Yeah, or they give you a fake number. - See?

My Perfect Match takes care of all the stress

by letting a computer find a soulmate for you!

Now that is what I call a Perfect Match!

Really?

-Good morning, Mr. Robinson. -Adele!

Tell me what's good!

Well, you're late for the first quarter development meeting.

Let's push that to this afternoon.

Too late! I already told them to start without you.

What?

Well, you're not that important, anyway.

Right, I'm just the CEO of the company.

Oh! Really?

I had no idea.

Well maybe you should start showing up to work on time!

-Maybe I should hire another secretary. -Good luck.

We both know you'd never find anyone prettier than me.

Or one with so many, many years of experience.

But somehow I just keep getting prettier!

You'll be pleased to hear

that the programming department has been very busy lately...

Mr. Robinson.

Sorry I'm late, everyone.

Please continue.

Right! Of course. Um...

As I was saying, we've been very busy

and I am pleased with the results of this quarter's roll out.

We have some exciting new products to show you

that I think you're really going to like.

Wonderful! Let's hear them.

May I introduce...

Fat Cat!

It tracks and monitors your cat's calorie intake.

Fat...

Cat?

Yeah, for the cat lovers.

No good?

OK, um, OK! You're going to love this one.

It's called Coffee-Mometer!

For the coffee connoisseur.

It helps the user gage their perfect drinking temperature.

By simply inputting the start brew time

along with the region of where the beans come from.

Coffee-what?