One Night Stand

- Call the Russians, call the Yanks,

take their weapons off them!

Call the Russians, call the Yanks,

take their weapons off them!

Creep.

Lunch break.

- "Francis McAfferty is 35 and well groomed,

into home life, listening to soft music,

barbecues and occasional outings.

Seek sincere and caring woman to 28, preferably blonde."

Lovely.

"And faithful."

No such thing.

"Kids okay, but allergic to cats."

- Hm, pity, might've snapped him up, hm.

- "Bruised and depressed Marcus Mann, age 48,

seeks energetic feminist to rekindle-"

Hi girls.

Twins.

God, Rudolph.

No, Brendan.

And Tony.

Well, who's which?

- Come out with us tonight and we'll expose our real selves.

No, thanks, you might look like

the "Creature From the Black Lagoon."

We're actually very handsome.

Modest too.

Doing anything tonight?

Decorating the Christmas tree.

- We've got tender skin, can't stand beards.

Oh, don't worry, we'll shave.

Could be bad for business.

- Yeah, this must be your best time of year.

- They do Easter Bunnies in the off season.

I actually work down there sometimes.

I'm a singer.

- I haven't seen you, I'm an usherette there.

Oh, I've got a show coming up.

Okay, how about it?

Can you handle it?

- A lot of women would give their right arm

for an opportunity like this.

Wow.

You're not allergic to cats, are you?

US bases out now!

Thanks, fans, thank you.

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

- What are they carrying on about this time?

I don't know.

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

- Whoo hoo! - US bases out now!

- What's he doing? - US bases out now!

- What you doing, wussy? - US bases out now!

- You wanna put us out of business, wussy?

- Oh, that's really subversive, wussy.

- US bases out now! - Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

US bases out now!

- So what do you think we should do about tonight?

Young, beautiful bank teller

and plain usherette disappear.

Phantom Father Christmases strike again!

Oh, they weren't that bad.

I thought yours was a bit up himself.

What do you mean yours?

The one who was sitting next to you.

We'll toss, okay.

Okay.

- Well, at least we know they've got good taste,

following us all that way.

- True and mine did look a bit like Richard Gere.

Heads, I get Richard Gere.

Tails, I suppose I get the throwback.

Rock and roll!

What?

You should be dancing!

I don't dance!

This where you bring all your victims?

I just come here for the view.

It's much more comfortable in the back.

Oh, I'm happy here, thanks.

I don't like your chances.

Well, not on the first night?

What's wrong with the first night?

Maybe it's bad luck.

- I reckon it's good luck, means you can't stop yourself.

I've got heaps of self-control.

Pity.

Must've heard my S.O.S.

Sounds like the whole world's doing it.

Except us, are you gonna drive me home?

Well, what do you wanna go home for?

To hear the Lotto.

It's just money these days.

It's all anyone's interested in.

- The Secretary General of the United Nations

today appealed for calm and reason

in the face of the deteriorating political crisis

in Central America.

"The situation," he said,

"had brought the world to the brink of oblivion."

Have you been a Father Christmas before?

- Accusations. - No.

And counter accusations

in the security council. - You like kids, do you?

Why, you wanna go halves?

- In as many days, the veto gang-

Actually I hate them.

- Nicaragua. - Hi there.

- Condemning the United States.

- Still up? - Yeah.

- Interference- - What's this place?

- We're looking after it. - Commenting on the veto,

A White House spokesman repeated yesterday's-

- The agency, say hello. - Good timing.

No, very interesting,

six, 10, four, 16 and 15.

The big one is about to fall!

- Sometimes. - Yes,