Loot

Hey, Molly. Thanks for having us.

Ready to answer 73 questions?

Is that one of them? Just kidding. Come on in.

Your house is gorgeous. Tell me about it.

Well, I sold my old house. I'm downsizing.

So I donated the proceeds and moved into this little beach cabana.

How many pools do you have here?

Just the five.

Come on in.

Are you excited for the year ahead?

Yes, very. I'm on a complete wellness kick.

Physical, mental, spiritual. That's why I built this koi pond.

Oh, my God. That's so dope. Do you love koi?

I don't, actually. I'm terrified of fish, but I do love to eat them.

So, what else do you do to stay healthy?

Well, right now, I'm on the Pompeii diet.

I'm eating what the people of Pompeii ate right before they died.

Also, mental health is so important.

That's why I have an emotional support sloth.

Emotional support sloth?

Mm-hmm. Wanna meet him?

Definitely.

Oh, hi, Molly. Do you wanna hold him?

I'd love to.

This is Arnold.

Arnold sleeps 18 hours a night, only three more than me.

Thank you, Nicholas. I feel so much better.

Of course.

I'm on Instagram, @nicholastheestallion. Penis-outline pics go up on Thursdays.

- Come see the rest of the house. - Lead the way.

Hey there. Did you miss me?

I love your dress. What's your current fashion inspo?

Tibetan monk chic.

Do you do any impressions?

I do a pretty good Jerry Seinfeld at The Gap.

What's the deal with clothes?

- That's it. - So good.

What's that smell?

It's actually my waterbed.

We fill it with chamomile tea every night.

So soothing.

What's your dating life like?

My dating life is on fire.

I have three very important people in my life:

me, myself and I.

Men are totally out.

So, men are out. What's in?

Hmm, nose rings, pickleball, and doing your own laundry.

An herb from my aquaponic herb wall?

Hmm. I don't know if that one's ready yet.

What's your favorite city?

Margaritaville.

What makes you angry?

Injustice.

And drawstring pants. End of list.

Tell me a secret.

I'll show you a secret.

I have a hidden kitchen.

I keep David Chang in here so he can make me food,

and so I don't have to see him.

Hi, David. What's on the menu?

My son has a soccer game, and I promised I'd go see him.

Men.

So, what's the theme of your year in three words?

Bad-bitch energy.

Oh, look who it is. It's time for my ab workout.

You ready to skate, Molly?

You know it, extreme-sports legend Tony Hawk.

Skateboarding is actually great for my core strength.

Shred to get shredded.

Hell yeah. I'm gonna go extra hard today.

I'm gonna have to put you in my next video game.

Oh, that would be radical.

Well, thanks for visiting.

Be careful of the sloth poop on the way out.

Namaste, y'all.

Come on, Tony. Let's shred.

Yeah. Awesome.

You guys are still here?

Get out of here.

So?

Congratulations, Coz. Forty million views.

Zendaya only got 25 mil for hers.

Really? That's great.

So, are people liking it? What are they saying?

Let's see what's going on down in the comments.

"Definitely doesn't look like she's giving away her money."

"Her fish tank's bigger than my house."

"I hope that sloth bites her in the..."

You know what? I'm not gonna read the rest of that.

Well, find me a positive one.

Okay.

Hmm.

Okay, here's one. "Meet Jewish singles in your area.

Guaranteed connection. Shalom!"

Okay. I can understand their frustration.

Let's cool it on the interviews.

Stop telling people your mansion is a cabana.

And why didn't you just get on the skateboard?

They said it was all above the waist.

It's okay. We can fix it by doing what you promised:

Giving away all of your money and helping people. So, let's get started.

- Sorry I'm a little late, everybody. - Oh, no problem.

Let's start with the impact report on the Alameda Street housing site.

We have a meeting with the deputy mayor...

Sofia, shut up. Everybody, shut up. Stop the meeting.

Arthur, what the hell is on your wrist?

Oh, this? This is a bracelet.

I picked it up over in Venice Beach.

Some real characters down there,

- if you've never been. -

What are those symbols?

Oh, this is a guitar, and this is a peace sign.

Why would... Why... Why... Why are you doing this?

I don't know.

I love peace, and I've always been a big music fan.

I mean, nothing too loud or rhythmic.

Who told you, you could wear that?

What's the big deal? It's just a bracelet.

My youth pastor used to wear leather bracelets.

Well, until he got "relocated."

There's a whole Netflix documentary about it.

It's called Murder Church.

I'm in that documentary.

Okay, guys, enough about the bracelet.

Arthur is free to wear whatever he would like. Let's just...

Goddamn it. Is that a turquoise star?

Oh, yes. Turquoise represents cosmic unity.

Oh, my God. I have to go. We have to go. I have to leave.

- I have to go home. - Okay. Let's get you home.

- I can't... - Let's get you into a bath.

All right.

Okay. Meeting's over, I guess.

I'll just handle everything myself.

What is going on? Who sent all of these?

Oh, fuck.

Hey, did you get the flowers?

Yes, John, I got them.

Had 'em flown in from Bhutan.

Guy I got 'em from said they're the last ones in the world.

They're extinct now. Anyway, how are you, babe?

You need to stop sending me stuff. We're not doing this.

What happened in Corsica was a mistake.

How can you call that night a mistake? We made love three times.

It was two and a half.

The last one was... ...mostly hand stuff.

I meant everything I said to you that night.

Hailey and I are over.

That night was a sign that you and I are meant for each other.

All I remember from that night is being traumatized

from drinking shit water.

Hey, you don't have to hide behind the shit water.

Look, the two of us will always be connected. Why fight that?

I don't wanna just be your ex-wife. I want my own identity.

Well, I'm not gonna give up on us. Tell me what you want from me. Anything.

I want you to stop doing what you're doing and give me space.

Okay. My therapist said I need to work on my listening skills,

so... I hear what you're saying.

Goodbye, John.

Bye. Love you.

Love you too. Damn it! I didn't mean that last...

Shit.

Arthur, Nicholas and I would like to speak with you.

It's very important.

Now, we're only here because we care about you.

We wouldn't be doing this otherwise.

- It's just, that bracelet... - It's an obvious cry for help.

I mean, is someone forcing you to wear it?

Is this a Saw situation? Does Jigsaw have your daughter?

Fellas, I appreciate the concern, but the bracelet is a positive thing.

It's a symbol of a new life philosophy.

I saw it, I wanted it, and so I bought it. I didn't hesitate.

I mean, look at it. It's totally fire.

Is this about what happened in Corsica?

Is this because you didn't get a chance to talk to Molly before John swooped in

on his helicopter... ...and had sex with her?

No, it is not about that.

I wasn't myself in Corsica.

The wine, the salty fish.

I watched Moulin Rouge! On the plane.

I wasn't thinking clearly.

All that Molly stuff was just a symptom of a bigger problem,

- which I've now solved. - Mmm.

I am living life at full speed. No regrets.

Oh, my God. I should get that embossed on the bracelet.

I have never been more worried about a person in my life.

Listen, just don't wear it at work, okay?

'Cause otherwise, I'll have to quit,

and I just got used to being around people who look like you.

I am seeing things clearer than I ever have.

I just do what I want.

And what I wanna do right now is, for the first time in my life,

try a cranberry scone.

Oh, God. I do not care for that.

It's wet and dry.

And spicy.

Spicy?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, you can't... you can't do this.

We've been working on this thing for seven years!

I do not agree to disagree.