No Country for Old Mentors

Alert! Alert!

Incoming transmission from Super President Kickbutt.

- Hello, Max. I'm calling for Phoebe.

Oh, sorry, wrong number.

Oh!

- Madam President, how can I help you?

The Hero League has decided

it's time to take your next big superhero step.

- Oh, does it involve moving away?

- Anyway, you've been accepted into our mentor program.

I'm sending over a list of approved superheroes

who can take you under their wing

and teach you everything they know.

Choose one and report back.

President Kickbutt out.

- I can't believe this is happening!

I get to go to Metroburg to train with a legend.

Look who's on the mentor list!

Tech Rider!

- Oh, he has so many awesome gadgets

and look how many saves he's racked up.

Forget about the saves.

He's got a supercycle that's so fast

it'll turn your face inside out.

I must know how that feels.

Me, too.

So, Phoebe...

it's pretty clear who you're gonna choose.

The guy's a superstar.

Monitor, call President Kickbutt.

Please hold for Super President Kickbutt.

I've been accepted into the Hero League Mentor Program.

- Oh, honey, that's fantastic!

You know who's on that list.

Yeah, I do.

This is a dream come true.

I finally get to mentor my own daughter!

- Oh, keep it together, Hank.

This is just the best day of your life.

That was quick.

Have you made your decision already?

Ohhhh...

Yep, I'm choosing...

Thunderman.

Thunderman?

Ohhhh...I'm so happy!

Here come the supertears!

Oh, you all are crying, too?

Yeah. Yeah.

We're just so happy.

*

* What you see

* Is not what you get

* Livin' our lives with a secret *

* We fit right in

* Bet you never guessed

* 'Cause we're livin' our lives *

* Just like all the rest

* A picture perfect family *

* Is what we try to be

* Look closer, you might see *

* The crazy things we do

* This isn't make believe *

* It's our reality

* Just your average family

* Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble *

* Livin' a double life *

How exciting is this?

Thunderman's gonna be a mentor!

One day, you will be able to do this...

- I can't believe you picked Dad.

Not pick Dad!

- Well, obviously you won't fly,

But, uh, you will learn a lot.

Just not about supercycles.

- To think--you could have been stuck with someone

like Technical Rider Man. - It's just Tech Rider.

- His supercycle and all his high-tech gizmos

might look cool,

but they are no substitute for this.

No, a brain.

Whether you use supergadgets or superpowers,

it's a superhero's best friend.

- He does have a pretty amazing save record, Dad.

Oh, and he's a swimsuit model, too.

- Yeah, I've modelled before.

- Phoebe, we are gonna do great things together.

And, Max, my hair used to look just like yours.

Think about that.

Maybe training with Dad will be great.

Thunderman is the greatest superhero ever.

- Was the greatest superhero ever.

Tech Rider's the man now.

And I know you feel the same way because...

you're writing "Phoebe hearts Tech Rider" on your tablet.

- Don't you have a bunny to "heart"?

- If she won't change her mentor,

then you're gonna have to do it for her.

- How am I supposed to do that?

So, like, if it's okay,

I'd like to switch my mentor to Tech Rider.

Cool beans. OMG, look at my nails.

Max, I have a job to do--

and you are not pullin' off that wig, girlfriend.

- If I'm gonna get that supercycle,

I'm just gonna have to convince Phoebe

to ask for Tech Rider herself.

Why are you dressed like a girl, too?

Uh, it's 4:30.

It's gonna be cold today, guys,

so, don't forget your jackets.

- I lost mine. Uh-oh!

- Billy, that jacket was brand new.

Nora, I need your lunchbox. - I lost it.

Here comes the hammer.

- Okay, you guys can't keep losing things.

Jackets and lunchboxes don't just grow on trees.

True. True.

So, when you go to the store,

can you buy me a lunchbox with a kitty on it?

- No, I am not buying you a new lunchbox.

Ha! Ha!

Or you a new jacket.

Ha! Ha!

- Okay, you guys are just gonna have to survive without them

and then, maybe, you'll learn not to lose stuff.

- Don't even think about it.

*

- Oh, welcome to the mean streets of Metroburg.

Very funny, Dad.

To the real Metroburg, away!

Away!

- Sweetie, this driveway is our big city simulator.

It's all about preparation.

Now as a crime-fighter, you have to learn

how to arrive at a scene, access a situation...

...make the right call.

Okay.

I'm here, this situation is ridiculous,

I'm going back inside.

- No, no, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe...

this is serious, all right?

Now this bike represents a tanker truck

that crashed next to a bus full of kids,

stalled in a busy intersection.

- What's the empty pizza box represent?

- Oh, your Mom made meatloaf.

So...what do you do?

Um, I use my freeze breath

on the tanker truck so it doesn't explode,

and everyone lives happily ever after.

Almost.

You forgot to shut down the road.

Look, here comes an out-of-control cement truck.

I'm outta control, baby.

- And you just caused a 12-car pile-up.

You just got schooled.

- Dad, I'm the protector of Hiddenville.

I think I'm past pretend cement trucks

and trash-talking toddlers.

- Uh-uh-uh-uh! Mentor. Mentee.

Now, what's next?

Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Small town tornado.

Okay, I was gonna get some fans and, ooh,

milk cartons to represent flying cows!

Poor, poor Phoebe.

Dad's never gonna take you to Metroburg.

You don't know that.

- I stole his training schedule. - You do know that.

What?

After two weeks in the driveway,

I graduate to the attic?

The only crime up there is humidity.

My hair's gonna be a mess.

- Oh, would you look at that!

Tech Rider just took down some bank robbers.

But don't you worry.

Battling frizzy hair in the attic sounds a lot more fun.

- Uh, Phoebe Thunderman for President Kickbutt, please.

*

I don't understand fashion.

- Mom's making us use this stuff now

because Billy lost his jacket and I lost my lunchbox.

- You kids are just like your Mom.

She lost her phone this morning.

Now between you and me,

the woman would lose her head, if it wasn't screwed on.

Hey, honey, your head looks beautiful.

- Aw, look at my little garbage kids.

Here, I need a picture.

Send me a copy.

- Oh, my gosh, how could she?

- Well, she could email it, text it.

It's actually kind of easy.

Not the picture.

She has a new phone.

She already replaced the one she lost.

Well, that's not fair.

She won't replace the stuff we lost.

- We need to teach her a lesson.