Dekin no Mogura: The Earthbound Mole (出禁のモグラ)

I screwed up.

Though, to be fair,

who would've expected a Kojien

to fall out of the freakin’ sky?

LIQUOR YAKITORI

It makes no sense.

EPISODE 1 "AT A CERTAIN LOCATION IN TOKYO"

Why would you suggest mussels as the theme

for our presentation on children's literature?

The professor will be raving about this fresh angle.

Stark raving mad, maybe!

It’s gonna work out fine.

You can take point on putting it together

since you’re heading the seminar.

It's not like that was my choice or anything.

Things might go your way

if you got your head in the game instead of whining.

You mean, it's my own fault?

Come on, Magi, you know Fujimura never takes no for an answer.

You're his girlfriend, aren't you?

Help me out here!

Huh?

Well, let us know when it's done.

See ya, Yaeko!

-Bye! -Hey!

It's like dealing with the real-life Gian.

Yeah, but not much we can do.

You wouldn't believe what he posts on social media.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GIRLFRIEND!

CHAMPAGNE OOZES "RICH" FROM EVERY PORE

LOCAL STYLISH FAMOUS LADY HE MET THERE

THE MENTALITY TO GO TO THE BEACH

FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND'S BIRTHDAY AND POST A SWIMSUIT PHOTO

He should die a thousand deaths!

Hard to beat a boss-level narcissist.

I don't want anything to do with those jerks.

Take a look at what he just posted

within the last few minutes!

WORKING OUT WITH THE KOJIEN!

I've never been more confused by anything

in my whole college career.

Why would a ignorant, muscle-brained macho man

be a literature major, taking a children's literature seminar

in the Liberal Arts department?

I was pretty dumbstruck when he first showed up

and wondered if he was some kind of

magical creature or something.

He's a rarity,

a gym bro who can read Dazai Osamu and stay chipper.

How is a being like that even possible?

It’s dangerous to wave around a Kojien

like it’s a dumbbell!

He seems like he's no longer human,

but he's the peak of mankind.

His social posts should say,

"Mine has been a life of much gain." Damn it all!

If it makes you feel better,

you have the most eloquent inferiority complex.

-More drinks! -Two highballs!

I drank too much.

THUD

For real?

SHINMURA IZURU KOJIEN

Billie Eilish, Bad Guy video.

Do you remember that one? I know I do.

Oopsie. I must have dropped it.

Ah, it's too dark. I'll look tomorrow.

You've got to be more careful.

Wait. Is that... Hey, mister, are you okay?

Uh, hey, can you two do me a solid?

Go home and pretend this never happened.

In this age of total selfishness,

no one will fault you for it.

Even so, we're not gonna abandon you.

Uh-huh. Oh! An ambulance!

Oops, I was distracted.

I'll call right now.

That's not necessary.

Wait, you're calling an ambulance?

No! Stop it! I forbid you from making that call!

I can't afford surgery or medicine.

Are you kidding me?

I don't even have an insurance card!

I'll be fine. This happens all the time,

and it looks worse than it is.

Come on, the medical expenses would ruin me.

Have you no mercy?

Curse you!

Hey, Yae.

This guy's clearly gone mad from the pain.

Yeah, good thing I just called an ambulance.

What? You're the one who called, so you're the one who's paying!

You jumped into my mess, so now you're responsible!

Unless that sounds appetizing, toss me into some alley!

Hide me from the meat wagon and amscray!

Help's on the way!

You need to save your strength!

You're gonna make it through this!

What do you know, a decent human.

Shit. Out of options.

Huh?

You're literally bleeding out from your head, sir.

Magi, wait!

Don't follow me.

By the way, this blood, it's just makeup.

It was all a big prank.

Like hell. I can actually smell the iron from here!

Damn, he sure runs fast for an injured guy in sandals.

- -Hey, Yae.

Something's off.

None of this adds up.

He's probably lost a gallon of blood,

but he's running like everything's normal.

It's really freaky.

I don't understand how someone in his condition

could be able to communicate so clearly.

-Lost him. -What now?

He's super unsettling, but we can't leave him to die.

Agreed. He may have been in a state of hysteria

from the head trauma.

We should call the police!

I guess that is an option.

So, uh, can you tell me what that number is again?

Dial 110 and try to stay calm.

Yeah, stay calm and we can talk it out.

But please don't call the fuzz.

DRAWER STREET

Excuse the mess. Come on in.

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Never would have guessed.

Kids are all right.

Selfless, even.

Old people, though, they suck.

A thousand times more callous.

Like the old fart who runs the store down the street.

Your head's bleeding. We're trying to keep you alive.

At least be more gentle.

Coffee, or tea?

Sorry, I don't have booze.

I never touch the stuff.

I definitely don't need alcohol.

How old are you two, anyway?

Aren't you past curfew or something?

-I'm 21. -I'm 20.

You're both full-fledged adults?

Yeesh, my bad.

Thought at most the girl was getting close

to graduating from middle school.

Um, thanks?

Yet you wished you had booze to offer us.

It's not just her.

You're also looking pretty damn young for being 21.

He's not only rude, he also can't keep his mouth shut.

Do you really think his head's okay?

21? Hoo boy!

Still young. I envy that. Bet you're strong too.

And how old are you?

I'm older than dirt compared to you two.

Judging by your outfits, I'm guessing you're students?

Aren't your parents worried about you?

Nah. It's fine, I live alone.

So do I.

I see.

You must've had some fun plans in the works for tonight.

Oh, well, my bad.

Man! You guys are way too trusting,

Huh?

Use your head.

When I asked if your parents would be worried,

you could've just said, "Nope."

You should never give a stranger any personal information

unless it's absolutely necessary.

And that goes double for the girlie.

As her boyfriend, you gotta protect her.

She and I aren't dating.

Damn, wrong again.

That's not considered sexual harassment nowadays.

Or is it? I sure hope not.

It gets harder and harder to keep up with the times.

He's clearly got his injury under control, Yae,

so let's get out of here.

Tell me, your surname is Magi, right?

But you call her Yae, her given name.

That kind of thing intrigues me to no end.

Clubmates? Classmates?

I'm being dead serious.

Let's go before he becomes a pain in the ass.

Leaving?

Oh, almost forgot. Here's your phone.

Sorry I swiped it.

That reminds me. I should give you my contact info.

Oh, uh, me too.

I don't know what your deal is,

but you really do need medical attention.

What's your number?

I don't have one of those cell phone things.

And I also don't have internet, a driver's license,

or a regular phone.

Tell me you have a name.