Space Dandy (スペース☆ダンディ)

Space Dandy.

He's a dandy guy... in space.

He combs the galaxy like his pompadour,

on the hunt for aliens.

Planet after planet he searches,

discovering bizarre new creatures both friendly and not.

These are the spectacular adventures

of Space Dandy and his brave space crew... in space.

Boobies! Boobies! Boobies!

That's all guys think about these days!

Well, they're idiots.

Show me a "boob man,"

and I'll show you a no-brain, no-class knuckle-dragger

who knows nothing of the fairer sex.

They don't get it;

you can't take the measure of a good woman

just by ogling her chest!

There are far more important things to consider.

Such as--

Aw, c'mon, are you even listenin'...?!

I'm tryin' to drop some knowledge here, QT!

Hmm... Is it... a beautiful heart?

Ugh. Exactly the sort of canned answer I'd expect

from a bucket of bolts.

Have you still learned nothing after all this time?!

I give, I give...! Just tell me already!

See, if you're enlightened like I am,

then you know that the real show is down below.

The booty, baby!

That's where it's at!

Nothing trumps the rump, my friend--

anyone who can't see that is either blind or a fool.

That's why I say enough with this mass-boob-hysteria;

It's time to set things right...

It's time to give the ass the respect it deserves!

Ummmm...

Too many women have been wronged for too long!

Like poor Agnes Lum...

...objectified only for her boobs--it's a crime, I tell ya!

I don't know who that is!

Why are we even talking about this?!

Can't we let the Narrator do the prologue first?!

Space Century... double-oh-fourteen...

Mankind has unlocked the heady secrets of space-travel...

But in the vastness of space,

humans are but one of a myriad of species...

There are countless others...

Like that one... and those... and all of them...

Far too many to name...

No, seriously. I'm done.

Wow, he really phoned that one in, didn't he...?

No kidding... How do I get that job...?

Focus! We can't waste any more time

breaking the fourth wall!

If we don't get to work hunting aliens,

the story's never going to go anywhere

and our viewers will stop watching!

Well then, QT...

Punch in the coordinates.

The coordinates to where?

What, it's not obvious...?

To Boobies, of course!

Huh...? You mean that restaurant

with the jiggly waitresses and the not-so-hot wings?

You got it.

What for?

Hey, come on, it's not just what you're thinking...

I wouldn't even suggest it,

except that it's an alien hangout...

It's Boobies or nothing, man--your call.

Yeaaah...!

Hey, Dandy...

Eh?

I thought you said we were coming here to work.

Whoa, Time out...

I'm working my ass off, so don't bust my chops...

Don't you see what perfect camouflage

I'm giving ya here, little buddy?

You can scope out the clients

while I pretend to ogle the laaadies...

I don't think camouflage is supposed to drool.

Such is the scene at Boobies,

one of many chains of so-called "breastaurants,"

with locations all over known space.

Breastaurants are where zero-G meets double-D,

staffed as they are by the top-heaviest girls

of any species sporting boobs--

And since the roster of ladies is different at each location,

Dandy's made it his mission in life to visit every single one.

He dreams of buying out the chain someday,

and eating every meal there.

When it's about Boobies, the Narrator suddenly cares...!

Thanks for waiting, fellas!

Yoo-hoo...!

Hm?

Pleased to meet you--I'm Honey...!

I hope you like what you see...!

Thank you, Boobies!

One Pleiades parfait

and one solar flare dessert sampler platter...

Anything else I can get you?

A Gilgamesh tequila.

Nice pick, that's a good one.

So, what's your name?

It's Dandy...

But you can call me Space Dandy.

So then, Mr. Space Dandy, what do you do?

You wanna know?

Do I ever!

It's a job that begins with "A"...

See if you can guess it.

Starts with "A"...? That's a tricky one...

Asteroid belt!

That does start with an "A," but no.

So what's the answer?

It's a doozy...

I spend my days... as an alien-hunt--

[PATRONS and WAITRESSES laugh and cheer]

Heya, Dandy...!

QT... is that an alien guide you've got in your hands...?

Kinda sorta...

Isn't the entire point of being a robot

that you can have all that information floating around

on your hard drive or whatever?

I could if I updated my software, but...

...my operating system is too old.

Oh, I get it...

So you're just a little obsolete.

Heey...

It happens to the best of us...

But faster with tech.

What do you think your trade-in value is... huh?

I was just joking--don't tell me you're depressed.

Robots don't get depressed.

Even the obsolete ones--!

What'd you find...?

Did you spot a good one?

My battery's down to five percent...

Then go into power-save mode, ya big dummy!

Dandy...

What about the one by the window...?

Would that do?

Huh...? The purple thing?

No, no--the other one.

Who...?

Beak dude?

A little more to the left.

This one?

Uh-huh, that's the one.

Lemme see... Hmm...

It looks like the Betelgeusian in your handbook.

You think...?

What about that marking on the side of its face?

Huh, that is different...

Could be a new species, maybe.

Really...?

You can get pretty thick in power-save mode, you know that?

C'mon, is it or isn't it?

And now you go into sleep mode?!

Hey, pal, you got a minute?

Huh...?

Uh... yeah.

Don't think I've seen ya around...

So where do ya call home...?

Tochigi Galaxy, maybe...?

Uh... No, uh...

...juuust passing through...

...not taking pervy pictures or anything...

Ya don't say...

So where are you from?

Hey...!

Why, you little son-of-a--!

You're not getting away that easy, meal ticket!!

I won't creep on the waitresses anymore--I swear!

Please, just let me go!

There you are! Drink time...!

And... because you ordered Gilgamesh tequila,

you get this super-neat sticker!

It's a sticker...?

Dr. Gel... our target has been confirmed...

It's him; there's no doubt about it.

Excellent. Well done...

So I've finally found you...

Dandy...

So, I probably should have mentioned this earlier...

...but the Gogol Empire and the Jaicro Empire

are currently locked in a life-or-death battle

for ultimate control of the universe...!

But nevermind all that...

Back to the Aloha Oe.

Lemme get this straight...

You guys grab aliens no one's ever seen before,

and when you register 'em...

...they give you money?

Yeah, that sounds about right.

But we only get paid

if the Alien Registration Center says they're new.

Check it out, then...

I know where you guys can score some.