The Windmill Massacre

That one's beautiful, Anna.

It's for you.

Thank you.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

You know in English, we call this a windmill.

Can you guys say windmill?

Windmill.

Windmill.

Yeah.

- How about you put this-- - Julie, can I have a word?

Yeah.

Should I call you Julie?

Or Jennifer?

Mr. de Vries, I can... I can explain.

Yes, I'm sure you can just as soon as the police get here.

No, you don't, I'm keeping this 'til the police arrive.

Hey, where do you think you're going?

Dad, Dad, is that the Ann Frank house?

- What? - Oh, back there, you missed it.

Sorry.

Isn't this great?

Fabulous city, just the two of us.

Should we do a selfie to send to Mom?

Yeah, good idea.

[boat tour announcer indistinct]

Still can't believe she let you take me out of school.

Well, travel broadens the mind, she knows that.

Now, come on, give us a smile.

- Come on, smile. -

Oh, hold on, wait a minute, I need to take this.

Dougless West speaking.

Yeah? No, that's the...

I've already told you that's the deal,

you take it or you leave it.

Add a bit more shadow. But it looks very nice, Ineke.

- How are things going, Ellen? - I'm a bit stuck.

Just focus a bit more on the vanishing point.

It is perfect... Very nice.

The easiest way to get started with drawing a rose is to...

Dr. Cooper...

Dr. Cooper?

We have arrived.

Grandma.

Woo me, baby.

You want to be a photographer,

first you need a proper portfolio before you can get any real jobs.

- You know that right? - Serge...

Serge, please.

We are both come down in the world.

- Serge how about this one? - No, too much hair.

I just need a bit of help getting started.

I would be so grateful.

Okay, listen, I can't promise you a thing

but I need photos for another crappy tourist calendar.

- And this one? - Oh, no. Way too ugly.

- About windmills. - Windmills?

Yeah, so if you can get me some really nice shots,

we'll take it from there, what do you say?

Where do I find these windmills?

Oh...

It was a nice night, let's lead the way.

This party's over man, come on.

Yeah, this is the one.

As your commanding officer, I order you...

Oh, yeah...

- Hook my friend up. - No, come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no come on, come on.

All right, Jackie boy!

There you go.

Come on, take it easy.

You're strong.

Charlie, Charlie, 1-0 Alpha, code blue.

Oh, come on, mate.

Jackie, what's the matter, mate, ain't she your type?

Let's go, crack on.

- - Bitch.

- - Hey, hey.

Danny...

Sweetness...

Ladies and gentlemen, this the police.

Identification, please!

Hey, Dad, here's the bus.

Hello.

Mate, is this Happy Holland Tours?

Yes, this is Happy Holland Tours.

- Tickets? -

No, just me and my son.

I might just, uh...

Yes, thank you, find yourself a seat.

Ah, got a ticket?

It's in my bag.

Doesn't matter, always room for one more sinner, huh?

No, joke, joke, come in, huh?

- Come in, mind your step. - Thanks.

- Relax dad. - You have to take it everyday.

I'll take it when we get back to the hotel.

- Mom says-- - Okay, okay.

But set your phone so I don't forget.

Sure, Dad, no problem.

I'll stay here 'til it blows over, keep me posted.

- Okay, mate, I will. - All right, cheers.

Sure.

Okay, well, welcome to Happy Holland Tours,

my name is Abe and I'm your driver and tour guide for today

as we leave this God forsaken city and explore the real Holland.

I hope you enjoy your trip.

This could be fun, right?

Ladies and gentlemen, without windmills,

there would be no Holland.

For centuries, they gave us flour, paper, wood,

and of course the polders

which you can see on your left and on your right.

It is thanks to the water pump, and windmills

that the polders stay dry and the lands safe.

Many men has died horribly,

burned alive when their wooden windmill

was struck by lightning.

More than half of Holland lies under sea level.

There is a saying, "God created the world,

but the Dutch created Holland."

Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is our first stop.

Everybody out please.

Watch your step, Curt.

We'll let him be, sleep will sober him up, hm?

Three kinds of windmills, the polar windmills

that pull the water out of the lands, and saw windmills,

and the ones that turn a raw product into a

tradable material, like flour.

This windmill is a flower windmill.

Jamie...

- It grinds, rain leads to flour. - Jamie.

To try to do this...

Owners of the land, but this changed when the French came.

Oh, shit.

Beautiful Happy Holland.

Oh, it's beautiful, beautiful.

This will make a good photo, yeah?

Excuse me?

Um, could you just take a quick photo for us,

it's just a...

She's obviously got something better to do.

- - Here, give it to me.

Oh, thank you, love, thank you.

Say fromage.

Oh, sorry, I'll be needing to take that.

Peter. Yeah, talk to me.

Everybody, 10 minutes, okay? You have 10 minutes and then we go back to the bus.

No, no, no, don't give me that,

serious why isn't this deal sealed yet?

Look, I already told her,

- there is no room for negotiations. -

No, you don't go back to her, let her come to us.

Hello, Vanessa West here.

- - I don't understand. Why is she not answering her phone?

I told you, she's off on some yoga retreat,

they probably don't allow contact with the outside world,

you know what they're like.

Don't worry about it, son,

I'm sure she'll get in touch just as soon as she can.

Have you heard anything? So everything's okay?

Yeah, yeah, mate, no worries. Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.

All right, man, bye.