A Hundred Scenes of AWAJIMA (淡島百景)

My mother was regarded as one of the top members of the Awajima Revue Troupe.

A Hundred Scenes of AWAJIMA

I went out of my way to write about that in my school essays,

so that on parent visitation days when I would read them out loud,

all the parents in the back would just sigh.

Some of them proclaimed to be fans of my mother.

Unlike my mother, I wasn't cut out for acting.

I took voice and dance lessons from a young age, but I was never good at them.

The only one that I liked and kept up with was classic Japanese dance.

Shinji Hasegawa & Utako Natsuki

Say, sweetheart, you should try writing a script.

A script?

I think it was over New Year's...

I was around nineteen.

I was watching TV or something, eating mandarins.

I was dumbstruck.

That was just the kind of person my mother was.

She'd hit you out of left field, working backward from her own conclusions.

Honey! Could you give me a lift to the station?

What?

That came out of nowhere...

I've always liked writing and daydreaming.

But I rarely showed my mother any of it.

She was always so busy, my grandparents practically raised me.

That's just how things were for me.

It was more unusual for my parents to be home than away.

I'm sure I found it lonely as a child,

but before my mother was my mother,

she was the actress Utako Natsuki.

I wrote all sorts of lies at school.

About the goofy things Utako Natsuki would do at home.

About how she wasn't quite the ideal mother or wife

but nonetheless made things cozy.

I didn't want to gloat and make her sound perfect,

but I didn't want her to seem so silly as to be unlikable.

It's hard to strike a balance, but I loved the challenge.

My creative output didn't end there.

The protagonist of my stories was always my mother.

But that was always a secret from my classmates.

I was tasked with all the writing for our school plays.

I got a ton of practice with my craft.

My Family's Dining Table Shinji Hasegawa

I've never used an alarm clock. The frenetic noise coming from the kitchen—from my mother—was my alarm.

"My Family's Dining Table,"

with its light humor and modest embellishments,

wound up winning a prize.

National Writing Competition

Son of Popular Actress Takes First Place

My photo made national news.

Once they found out I was Utako Natsuki's son,

I was introduced alongside my mother in the weekly papers.

She was caught up in my make-believe stories, after all.

I was terrified of how angry she'd be once we got home.

She never scolded me.

Then again, she didn't praise me either.

Coconut

Volume 1

Theater and Literature Division, Shinji Hasegawa

Once I was in college, I wrote a faux stage play and self-published it.

Although I never thought I'd end up a scriptwriter.

I was chasing after an idealized image of my mother.

In a way, I'd made myself content by giving that illusion some shape.

It was just an off-the-cuff remark...

Say, sweetheart, you should try writing a script.

She was the one who gave me the push.

That's beautiful.

In truth, I wanted to be like my mother.

The mother I'd written was, in fact, about me.

The graceful Utako, the mysterious Utako, the silly Utako...

They were all who I wanted to be.

I'm home.

Oh, Dad, welcome back.

What's this? You going out?

On a date.

Grandma! You didn't need to mention that!

I'm off!

You said you had an interview today?

Yup.

I talked a lot about you.

Making things up again, I'm sure.

Nah, it was a pretty honest confession.

My father passed away when I was fifty.

My mother, who had been living with him until then,

said she wanted to move in with us.

That she loved my father dearly,

and that she was left feeling empty...

It was then that I learned I didn't know my mother at all.

Mother, what would you like for lunch?

What did we have yesterday again?

Oh, please, don't joke like that.

Seeing her laughing it up with my wife and children

and watering the trees and flowers, she's quite the endearing senior.

But I sometimes wonder...

if maybe my mother with us here now

is merely acting the part of the imaginary Utako Natsuki I wrote about.

I can't bring myself to stop chasing after Utako Natsuki.

Admitted Applicants

That's me...

It's hard to believe.

It's like I'm dreaming.

My number...

Yukari-chan!

I made it!

...wasn't up there.

Fumiko Shiro's Daughter

Yukari-chan?

I'm not up there.

My number...

It's not there...

What now?

I don't think I'll recover from this.

Yukari Takimoto

Saori Morikubo

Fumiko Shiro

We both did well at prep school.

Nothing is certain in this world, but I'm convinced you'll both be fine.

I guess I shouldn't be putting so much pressure on you.

But I'm sure Shiro-sensei will say the same.

Right!

We'll work hard.

I really thought so, to be honest.

I'm Fumiko Shiro's daughter.

One of the top students at the Fumiko Shiro Lesson School.

Maybe it was hubris that did me in.

I called my mother "Sensei" even at home.

I always kept a professional distance with my other teachers too.

I think...

But that's not the point anymore.

I didn't make it...

through the sieve that is the Awajima entrance exam.

Sorry, Sa-chan.

For what?

It must be awkward walking home with me.

That's not...

Well, yeah.

I'm glad you made it, though.

I mean it.

Yukari-chan...

I mean it, huh?

Do I really?

I'm not even sure myself, but it's what came to me in the moment.

What else was I supposed to say?

I'm so sorry!

I shouldn't have said what I did. It made you get your hopes up.

It was unbecoming of me as an instructor.

Sensei, please...

You're just rubbing salt in the wound.

It wasn't your fault she didn't make it, Kanae-chan.

She just wasn't good enough.

Well, Yukari? Want me to write a letter for you?

It wasn't as though I couldn't work my connections.

I could make it happen.

But that isn't a sure thing either...

"She's Fumiko Shiro's daughter."

"I bet she's going to take advantage of that too."

People would be annoyed by me.