Million Dollar Arm

It's a simple fact that not everyone is destined

to claim their page in the history books.

But a lot of people are willing to pay for a piece of it.

Popo, you are about to break the NFL single-season sack record,

and when you do, you deserve to cash in, plain and simple.

That's where Seven Figures Management comes in.

We make sure that when you reach a career milestone like that,

that you are rewarded for that achievement,

in short, that you get paid very well.

Now, my question to you, Popo, is...

Will you let me help you do that?

- That was perfect. - Yeah?

Yes, that was amazing.

He's here, JB.

- What? He's early. - He's still here.

Okay, time to go. Let's do this.

Knock him dead, partner.

That's where Seven Figures Management comes in.

We make sure that when you reach a milestone like that in your career,

that you are rewarded for that achievement.

So my question to you is very simple, Popo.

Will you let me help you do that?

Yeah, I will.

Well, that is... That is good news, Popo.

Why are we wasting time in here?

Let me go get your paperwork started,

and then I'll introduce you to your new team.

Cool.

Oh. Just one more thing, JB.

Name it.

I'm gonna need a million-dollar signing bonus.

- What? - You know, like, a million in cash.

Up front.

Oh... Okay, Popo...

I can't do that. I mean, that just doesn't happen.

- I mean, no one can do that. - Procorp can.

Paul Carter, please.

Paul, hey. JB Bernstein.

I'm great. Thank you.

Um...

No, the reason I'm calling is

'cause I wanted to let you know that I

can't get you that check this week.

No. No, no, no. We still want the office space.

Uh, just a couple more months.

I didn't even know

he was talking to Procorp.

Well, they got to him.

Yeah, you know, what they're doing is completely unethical, okay?

We've been grooming the guy for six months. I mean, six months. Come on.

And then, poof, he's gone. They bought him?

Speak of the devil.

I hate them so much.

We just need another play.

We don't have another play, okay?

They just bought our play.

And we can't compete with them. They're too big.

You want to go back? Huh?

You wanna work at the Death Star?

No, I don't wanna work at the Death Star. I hated the Death Star.

I wanna work for us, I wanna work for you, but, look,

come on, this is not really working.

Yet. It's not working yet.

Come on. May I remind you, please, that we had some very good clients.

Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders, Curtis Martin.

Okay. May I remind you that they are all retired.

My point is simply that we did it before, we can do it again.

That's how this works. We just have to hold it together.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome

the Los Angeles Clippers!

I feel sick. Can we go?

How about that baseball owner you know?

- What was his name? - William Chang.

Big money guy out of San Francisco

looking for investment opportunities in Asia.

Except we don't have anything in Asia.

Maybe we should find something. Think about Yao Ming.

That dude's worth a hundred million in Chinese endorsements.

We just need to find our Yao.

Okay. When it comes to China, we are late to the party. China's tapped.

- Fine, Taiwan. - Tapped.

- South Korea. - Tapped.

North Korea.

Great. I'll set up a meeting.

All right. Well, then, this. What if we go young?

- Mmm-hmm. - Find some kid, develop the talent.

Get in on the ground floor.

Mmm. Hey, the Red Sox just signed an 8-year-old.

All right. Maybe we hang out at maternity wards.

Yeah, last time I did that, I came home with twins.

Right. Bad idea.

Hey, listen, you are gonna love it when it happens to you.

You just need to jump on in.

Ah, look at that. Cricket.

- Oh, come on. - Come on. It relaxes me, all right?

I used to watch this with my dad. It's a great game.

- It's not a great game. - It is a great game.

It looks like an insane asylum was opened up

and all the inmates were allowed to create a sport.

That is just not true. Okay? A billion people play this game.

I don't care. It's because anybody can play it.

There's no discernible rules.

You hit the ball anywhere you want and it's apparently fair.

And then you run back and forth and tag each other with bats.

This is nonsense. Toddlers can play this game.

Okay, are you even listening to yourself right now?

Do you realize how stupid you sound?

It is a brilliant game.

And I am in trouble.

You're not driving.

Oh, my wife loves it

when I have to take a cab home 'cause I'm so intoxicated.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Good night, guys. - Night.

- Who's that? - What? She's my tenant.

She lives in the bungalow out back.

Wow. Backyard hottie.

No. She's not my type.

Oh, really?

Why? Because she's not a model?

Yeah, 'cause she's not a model.

What is wrong with you, okay? She's cute.

Have you seen her? She's cute. And what does she do?

I don't know. She's studying to be a doctor.

Oh, she's studying to be a doctor. Oh, my God. Ew!

Yeah, stay away from that.

Because she's not a model and she's smart. That's terrible.

- Mañana , bro. - All right. Get home safe.

We're gonna figure this out.

I don't know how much longer I can do this, JB.

Look, we said we were gonna give it two years on our own,

and it's been three now

and we still can't seem to sign a new client.

Yeah, I know. I'm aware of that.

But, look, we just need one big client...

Yeah, that was Popo. Popo was our guy.

I don't want to quit on you. I don't.

I just don't know what else to do.

We're gonna crack this thing, Aash.

All right.

We're gonna crack it, Aash.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living...

Youse didn't expect that, did you? Did you? No.

I dreamed that love would never die...

in front to have in the back...

downtown Los Angeles...

oxygen to every load to boost your detergent...

Certainly a big series for Matt Prior.

Disappointing against the Indians in the test.

- Seventy runs. - Chance to make amends today.

One of the things about...

die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid...

...of the wicket, a wide half-volley.

- Cook knows it. - Oh, my.

So different from this hell I'm living...

It's been a successful

performance from Alastair Cook...

Hey. How fast do they pitch in cricket?

Fine, bowl. How fast do they bowl in cricket?

You know what? Get me a meeting with Chang this week.

I think I cracked this.

They don't play baseball in India.

That's right. They don't. They play cricket.

But we think that we can convert a cricket bowler into a baseball pitcher.

Look, India is the last great untapped market.

We find new fans there for American baseball,

the financial opportunities are endless.

Mr. Chang, if we can deliver to Major League Baseball

its first Indian ballplayer,

that's a billion new fans.

What do a billion new fans need?

A billion hats. A billion T-shirts.

And you wanna set this up like it's a talent contest?

Exactly.

That will ensure maximum exposure of talent to press.

See, once we go over there and find these guys,

we bring them back here, we train them in LA,

and then we get them signed with a professional franchise.

- What's your timeline? - Two years.

Can you do it in one?

Sure.

Really? A year? Because I thought we said two.

I had to hook him.

Okay, we can't find and train two nobodies in a year.

It can't be done.

Well, without this deal, we're done.

So I just saved our business, Aash. You should be thanking me.

Oh, I would thank you if the deal wasn't insane.

- Well, apparently Chang didn't think so. - Chang is rich.

You know what rich people can do?

They can be insane. We can't, okay?

We can't find somebody who has never picked up a baseball

and teach them how to pitch.

You're right, we can't. But I know someone who can.

Cross it over.

Bend it deep.

Pre-set your fanny.