Episode #1.5

Fastanfurius. Sit aprum lupus.

Er, "lupus"? Erm, what is that?

Because I studied Greek at school.

Get on with it.

Oh, yeah!

Legion, now march!

And the winner of this year's Big Fight

is Cassius Ceramix!

Cassius! Cassius! Cassius! Cassius!

Cassius! Cassius! Cassius!

Cassius! Cassius! Cassius!

- -

Caesar!

I won this victory for you!

Caesar, I love you!

Is that the Big Fight then? It's more like the Battle of the Losers!

Yeah, it certainly is a let-down.

No blows, no spilt blood, no fractures, no gouged eyeballs.

What example are we setting children?

Mmm. And what world are we leaving them?

What world, exactly! I agree wholeheartedly.

Don't get me started.

Again!

More fighting! More brawling!

We want The Big Fight!

-It's my shield, Grandad! -No, it isn't!

- -

Getafix!

Oh! It's all kicking off on the podium down there.

Yeah, you're right. Look at that slap.

Wow, not for the faint-hearted. Avert your eyes.

- Four-leaf clover… - Capture him!

-Shh, he's awake. -Do you know me?

Getafix…

Getafix, you okay?

Yes, I am, Asterix, I thank you. A bit stunned, but I'm all right.

Good. That's good.

Hold on. You called me Asterix!

-Getafix, you're cured! - In formation!

Here.

Now it's time for the ceremony of the shields!

We have to act fast now.

There's nothing we can do, Asterix.

Our tribe must submit, it's the law.

Obelix lost.

I am the chief of you all!

No. Not us all.

Your attention please.

The great Julius Caesar is now going to say a few words.

Thank you.

- Hmm? - My beloved people…

- -Today is an historic day.

Today, the last village in Gaul

has fallen.

I'm the worst chief in the whole history of Gaul.

Today, Rome has won.

Today, all of Gaul is occupied.

Caesar! Caesar! Caesar!

All? No!

There's still one Gaul. Me!

All of Gaul is not occupied.

What are you on about? You're a Roman now.

Accept your defeat. Your chief has lost.

No, Julius. Because he's not my chief.

Obelix banished me from the village before the fight.

And it's the best decision you took as a chief, my dearest Obelix.

It's all gone to pot. It's so sentimental.

All right! Let's give each other flowers and shower each other in roses, huh?

I am the last indomitable!

I am Asterix the Gaul!

It's interminable.

What now? What are they booing for?

Well, there has been no combat, no spectacle.

First there was no bread, and now, no circuses.

Boo!

We're going to destroy this arena!

All right. So they want a show?

They shall have one.

-Do you want a show? -

I can't hear you, do you want a show?

-Louder! -

A show, then, is what you'll all see.

- -

The incendiary squadron to proceed to the catapults.

The incendiary squadron. Thank you.

- -Fire.

My village!

Oh, no, Julius.

If you don't obey the rules, it changes everything.

Yeah, but why?

You won, so why burn down the village? This is stupid.

Hey, whoa. I remind you that the Big Fight was your idea.

It wasn't my idea to set a village on fire!

Ah, but of course.

That's what we should have done.

Rap on the doors of their huts and say, "Hello, Gauls."

"We're invading you, we hope that's okay".

Get your head out from your papyrus, girl!

This is war! So choose which side you're on.

Ours or the barbarians.

Now, that's what I'm talking about. The show's taking a new turn now.

It's getting good.

It's spectacular, though not really conforming to the rules.

Oh, come off it!

What's wrong with a little massacre every now and again, eh?

Caesar, what you're doing is against Gaulish law.

This is what I think of your Gaulish laws.

My fishmongery!

Take care of that idiot.

With pleasure.

Potus, come with me.

The smell of victory.

Stinks like grilled fish. And it's rotten too.

I've a riddle I want to put to you, little Gaul.

What do you call an indomitable with no potion?

Well, maybe you would say he's a… domitable?

It's all right, no cause for alarm.

Mmm.

You ready?

Hmm.

Halt, Gaul! This way.

-No funny stuff. -

Leave him to me!

He's my prisoner, I'll handle it.

You, er, go stop the catapult shooting at the village.

Really? But that's not what Fastanfurius told us…

By order of Caesar!

Okay, let's go!

Mileycirus, stay here and assist.

-Let's take that one. -Oh, no, those rides make me feel ill.

I prefer hook-a-duck or splat the rat…

- -

No, no, no, no!

Oh, look over there.

-Huh, what's that? -Over there, look!

-Eh? -

- -Hey. What are you doing, Roman?

I'm choosing my side. Come on!

- -

Children, another fight starts for us.