Der Rebell

What time is it?

- Um, I'm gonna say, we got noon right now?

12:30?

What is this?

- What? - This.

Why is this like this?

Uh, I'm not sure.

- Well, you closed last night, so...

- Yeah, um... I don't know, who cares?

I'll clean it up.

- I just don't-- I don't know why

you left a big pile of rags right there.

Uh, I had to close, and yeah,

so there's a pile of rags that I left,

and I'll clean it up before we open.

How's this a mystery?

- Pete, the place is always perfect every time you close,

so I thought you must have a reason.

- So, I didn't. - Okay.

- I must've just gotten tired last night and I didn't finish.

- Okay, Pete, you know, I don't really care.

I'm not-- it's not like I'm judging you.

Well, you are.

- You know, I'm actually saying it's because

you're so good at your job, that's why I'm saying--

Well, you know, it's like-- it's like a pyramid of rags,

it's like you decided to put a pyramid of rags here.

And you're really good at closing, that's why--

You know, you understand, that's like a compliment,

I'm saying, you're so good, why is that like that?

That's all.

Okay, I would rather you say

that I just fucked up, all right,

and that I didn't do my job well

than to infer that I would do something like this

that-- for a reason.

I don't like what that infers.

Okay.

Well, uh, you did a shitty job of closing last night.

Okay, thank you.

You want coffee?

Yeah.

Thank you.

Hey, this is good. Why is this good?

- I ordered some beans from the computer.

Yeah, I like it.

What time is it?

- It's like getting close to 1:00.

- Hey, it's Dad. Can you please call me back?

Just trying to reach you. Okay, thanks.

What time are they coming today?

- I don't know, around 5:00, I think.

- Fuck. - I know.

Horace?

Hi.

- Oh. - Hey.

I didn't know where you went.

I got out of the shower and you were just--

You were just gone and--

I was all around the apartment calling your name,

but you just vanished.

- Well, I was down here, I was-- I was opening up.

Yeah. Hi Pete, good morning.

Hi, Rachel, good morning.

- Come here. - Okay.

- Hi. - Hi.

Okay, bye.

- Okay. - I will see you later tonight.

Okay. Bye.

Should I open you up?

- Yeah, just go ahead and leave it open,

we're open, so open it.

Thank you.

Bye.

Thanks.

It's 1:00.

This is Headline News Update.

- Hey, man. Can I get a coffee, black?

Here's our top stories that

we're looking at for today.

Candidates are gearing up for the nation's first primaries

and the caucus tomorrow night in Iowa.

Donald Trump still leading the polls ahead of Ted Cruz.

At a rally today in Des Moines,

Trump's supporters said that he is the man...

- Trump, Jesus. - What?

Wait, why not Trump?

'Cause he's a... jerk.

Drops out of the debates, and I don't know,

I think he'd ruin this country.

- Okay. So? Why not that?

Like, what's so fucking great about this country?

Listen, man, if we vote for him,

that just means we want to go down,

so let us go down.

Yeah, I guess.

Hi, Marsha.

Hey, Pete.

- Yeah, listen, nothing lasts forever, man, you know?

That's just how a democracy declines, right?

The populace degenerates

until they elect a guy like that and he just ruins what's left.

I mean, we used to be great.

We used to be-- have a great work force.

We used to be educated.

We used to pretend to be moral, right?

Now everything's made in China by fucking babies.

Everybody's stupid on purpose

and nobody gives a shit about anything

except consumer pleasures, so why not Trump?

Let's just get this shit over with.

That should be his slogan.

"Trump: Let's get this shit over with."

- Hi, honey, um, I keep going to voicemail when I call you

and then you keep texting me,

and I really don't want to text with you,

so can you please not text and-- and pick up the phone, okay?

Thank you.

Jesus Christ.

Hey, Nick.

Hey, who do you got for the Super Bowl?

I don't know,

I don't have a dog in the fight this year, you know?

So I guess it comes down to quarterbacks this year for me.

Kinda old school, versus new.

I like Peyton Manning,

that's what a quarterback is supposed to look like,

you know, like a-- like a senator

with a busted nose from the '50s.

Not a-- I'm not a big Cam Newton fan.

Oh, Jesus.

Cam Newton, that fucking guy makes me nuts.

I mean, that--

Grinning like a monkey all the time,

jumping around, show boating.

I mean, why is there no humility left in this sport, huh?

- Yeah, but how can you tell that he's--

that he's grinning with his-- when he has his helmet on?

- Well, you can see it. - You can't tell he's grinning.

- What the fuck-, what are you talking about?

You can see the grin a mile away.

All he does is grin.

- Stop it. - Oh, shut up.

- You guys are just afraid of an exuberant black man, that's all it is.

Oh, got me pegged.

- I don't know, I like the Super Bowl.

You know, because of all the cheering and the--

people get excited.

- Leon. - Thanks, Pete.

- Hello, Marsha, you need another one?

Always.

I'm not going if she's there.

I think she's a dumb bitch.

No, I'm at this bar.

I don't know, just having a drink.

Turn that off.

You want to make a telephone call, go over there.

Sorry, um...

can I have a double Jack?

- Hey, Pete, um... listen, you know,

my sister's coming later with her lawyer to hash everything.

Yeah, I know.

- So I was thinking that maybe you shouldn't be here.

Why's that?

Because I--

sometimes, when there's a conflict, you can be--

you can be kind of an asshole,

and I just don't want to deal with it.

Look, I'm not--

I'm not trying to insult you, I just--

You're not insulting me.

Okay, well, there's a lot at stake here.

Oh, yeah?

The whole place is at stake, Pete.

- The whole place? - Yeah.

- Hey, Horace. - Oh, fuck.

- First of all, fuck you, you dumb cocksucker.

Maybe you're afraid of your fucking sister,

but I'm not afraid of your fucking sister.

All right, Pete.

- And I'll tell you what else, you miserable cunt.

Jesus Christ, man, all right.

- No, you know what? I'll be here if I feel like it.

I mean, when did you start being the one to tell me

where to go and what to do, what to say?

Jesus Christ, cocksucker.

- All right, all right. - You know the thing with you, Horace?

You're not a cocksucker, you're a piss ant.

All right, do what you want.

- Oh, oh, oh... - You do what you want.

- Walk away, walk away. - Yeah, I'm walking away.

Piss ant.

You know what a piss ant is--

Leon, you know what a piss ant is?

I feel like I know.

- A piss ant is an insect that has no value,

but it smells like piss.

You know, at least a cocksucker can do something.

Suck cock.

But a piss ant just sits there in the door jamb,