Silent Roar

Rongorongo.

Dondo!

Breakfast. Now.

Get up!

Hello? Hello?

Ah. May I say hello?

The minister has returned and it is myself.

Patrick Archibald MacLeod.

But please, call me Paddy.

Yes. And why are you here?

I was just lying in my bed this morning

thinking how I must introduce myself to all the parish.

Open my arms, so to speak.

Ah. This'll be your lad. Dondo, is it?

Hmm! What a fine, handsome man you've grown into.

Hi.

Yes?

Well, I've heard about your loss, Mrs Mackay.

Willy was a fine man.

It must be coming up a year now since he was taken by the waves.

Fishing on the Sabbath as he was, I hear.

Willy was not a church man.

Nice meeting you. Porridge is burning.

Please do come back another time. And you, clothes.

Best put your trousers on, boy.

I found his boot.

You have faith.

There's nothing I would do to dampen that flame.

Dondo!

Ah. Ah, well, uh... Maybe another time.

What are you doing?

He's back. The skiver returns.

Wow, you've grown.

You have too.

And your voice has changed.

Er, yeah. So has yours.

Sorry about your dad, by the way.

Ach, you know, it'll be fine. He's OK.

What do you mean?

He's not so bad, you know.

Sas!

- Sir. - Those bangles have got to go.

Are you asking me to remove an item of clothing?

Sàmhach!

Next exam, no bangles. It's highly distracting.

OK, sir.

But you have to shave your beard before the next exam.

The way you scratch it is highly distracting.

All right.

- Bye, sir. - I'm warning you.

Welcome back, Dondo.

You been crying?

Tears of joy, sir. Tears of joy.

Good man.

Dad.

Dondo, he still lives.

Hi.

- Where are you guys from? - Planet Earth.

- Solar System. - Milky Way.

Whanganui.

What about yourself?

Just here.

- Here? - Yes, right here.

Little grommet.

There she blows.

Oh, man.

- Yeah, man. - Whoo!

- Yeah, man. - Whoo! Whoo-whoo-whoo!

Dondo.

Up!

Is Oxford University in Oxfordshire?

No. Sexfordshire.

No.

You don't know what you're missing out on.

Goodbye, Kenny.

- Come on. - No.

My final answer is no and that is my final answer.

Fair dos. We can work with that.

One hundred percent waterproof.

Would you shag Dondo?

He's too weird. It's like he's touched.

Touched?

Touched by something invisible.

- All right. Don the grom. - Here, check this out.

What's that?

It's a hundred percent waterproof.

Yeah. But what is it?

It's a Bible.

Oh.

My, oh my.

What are you doing here?

Searching.

Do you really pray?

I do.

Even on your own? When nobody's looking?

You'll be a swan before you know it.

So, I'm an ugly duckling now, am I?

Poor Dondo. He's having a rough crossing, Saorsa.

Show him some kindness, at least.

I'll be on my way now.

- Hi. - Hi.

Who were you chatting with there?

Oh, some top-level gnarlers.

It was cosmic alignment.

Where did the new minister go?

- I think I frightened him off. - Oh. Shame.

Well, you know where to find him.

Can you teach me to surf one day?

Whanganui. Yeah.

Awesome.

Hello?

Shaka laka Zula.

Dondo?

What are you doing up there?

Just... looking about.

Right.

Can I walk you home?

All right.

I saw your mum the other day.

- She is hot. - What, my mum?

Yeah.

Your mum is hot.

Hello there, Dondo.

It's very kind of you to walk Sas home.

Come in, Sassy.

Come in, come in.

Will you come in for a tea?

No, I think I'll just...

- Never mind. How's your mother? - Fine, thanks.

Good, good. Back to her pottery?

She never stopped.

And you, back to your surfing.

You're not afraid of the sea?

I'd be terribly afraid, so I would.

- Mum, he's got to go. - And finally back to your exams?

They'll be keeping you back the year, I'd imagine.

Grief can cause such a disruption.

Mum.

You give your mother my best wishes, now.

Thanks, Mrs MacKenzie. Bye, Sas.

Oh, mind the sheep.

The power of nonsense between that poor boy's eyes.

- I hope you can see it. Can you? - See what?

He's not the one. Hm?

- Stop. - Aw.

They're just pants.

But they're Dad's.

They're good pants.

How would you feel if you survived a shipwreck

you come back to find someone wearing your underwear?

I'd hate to see them being thrown out.

- Mum? - Yes?

What's church like?

Why do you want to know?

I might go on Sunday.

Why?

Just, you know, see what it's all about.

Which church? The old one

- with the new minister in it? - Aye.

Well, the other one up the road has heating, I've heard.

Mum, they're just churches.

Does it matter which one I go to?

Thank you, Noel. Wonderful.

Hi.

It's great to see you.

Here we are. Another glorious Sabbath,

and a shipwrecked sailor has washed upon our shores.

Let us pray.

Lord, hear our prayer for Willy.

Willy, wherever you may be,

our prayers are winging their way to you.

Out, beyond our knowing.

Out, beyond the bounds of eternity.

Lord, please help Willy.

Summon the creatures of the ocean,

to return him safely,

on porpoise, by squid,

stoat or narwhal.

Willy, will ye come back, Willy?

Come back. Return. Amen.

Amen.

Dondo, please be seated.

Off you go. There. Take a seat.

There. There's a good lad.

Forgive us, Lord, for we know not what we do.

- You know not what you do. - Amen.

- Amen. - Amen.

- Thank you so much. - That was beautiful.

God bless. Thank you so much for coming.

- Wonderful to see you. - Paddy.

Norman.

Norma.

Sas.

It is so good to see the church alive again.

So good, Paddy, I cannot tell you.

You're breathing life back into us

after the great sickness has taken so much.

Indeed, Norma.

Sassy!

Awesome gig, Paddy. You nailed it.