The Lowdown

Dale Washberg was found dead in his home late last night

after an apparent suicide.

We ask for privacy as we grieve this tremendous loss.

You're a journalist too though, right?

I am a Tulsa "truthstorian."

I've been doing a little research on y'all. I have some concerns.

You better watch out. Donald could be your future governor.

Oh, that widow? She's crazy too.

Her husband committed suicide a week ago.

Now she's sitting with her dead husband's brother.

That's enough! No!

Let's go! You motherfucker, let's go! Watch your fucking fingers.

We got something that your boss is gonna love.

Who's my boss?

Allen, what are you doing?

Lee, I'm gonna get you out.

You crazy, bas… I'll see you at Sweet Emily's.

-Fuck. -Hello?

Yeah, hey. I got the money for the… the house and stuff.

That's great. See you in 30?

You know what? Make it 40.40's good.

-Allen, please. -Shut the fuck up!

Down on your fucking knees.

Whoa.

Yeah.

Hi, I'm Lee.

Johnny, how are you? I was murdered last night.

Yeah, Francis and I are gonna go catch a movie after we get some stitches.

Pow!

'Cause we love to make sure we look snatched.

Really important because we do need to start off…

What?

I'll give you a thousand dollars

for those shades, this hat and a brief makeup tutorial.

Okay. Show me the money first.

Hey, guys… Oh, shit. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm sorry.

-Hey there, Francis. -Hey.

What the fuck?

-Is that, um… -Sorry I'm late, you guys.

-Yeah, that's… -Dad, what are you wearing?

-Don't even ask. -Here we go.

Lee, this is...

-Johnny. Nice to finally meet you, bud. -Yeah. Johnny. Yeah, hey. Hey.

Heard a lot about you. Good stuff, obviously.

-Hey, can I try that on? -Uh, no.

Oh, my God. Is that a new black eye?

Oh, geez. You know, I've been… I've been doing this jujitsu training and it's...

-You roll? You roll? Where do you roll? -No, don't.

All right? You wouldn't know it. It's over in Sand Springs. It's the real deal.

Sand Springs jujitsu. That's my guy Juan's place. I love it.

No, I train with the guy who trained Juan, so it's different. It's private lessons.

He's 72 years old. What do you… Who's training Juan?

Yeah, well, this guy's 84.

-Okay. Yeah. Come on. -No frills. Yeah.

Okay, dude.

I gotta talk to your dad before you go, okay?

-Go easy on me. All right, uh… -Good to meet you, man.

Yeah, yeah, good to meet you too.

-Look, I finally hit the bottom. -Whose car is that?

Everything I owe you plus the interest.

Yeah.

You sold the van, didn't you?

No, no, I've been working. Working at the Heartland Press.

The article's viral. You saw that, right?

It's a real page-turner. It's only two pages, but, you know…

Damn.

And, hey, listen, you mind if we switch weekends?

With the eye and the van…

What? No.

No. You said you were gonna take her.

-You're taking her for the weekend. -Yeah, I know I said that.

No, no, no.

Johnny's taking me to Eureka Springs, remember?

Eureka Springs? I took you there. That sucks.

-It was in the calendar for weeks. -Yeah, well…

I don't read the calendar, and I never will.

Fine, fuck it. I'll take her.

-That's great. No, it's better this way. -Yeah. You will. Yeah, it is.

Go to Eureka Springs, have a ball. She really likes him?

-Yes. -She thinks he's cool?

-Uh… Lee. -He's not cool. Okay. Yeah.

Uh, all right, Francis, let's make it happen.

-You guys don't wanna go for tacos or… -Nah, no tacos.

Now, where is the van?

Somebody rear-ended me, so I had to take it to the shop, you know.

It's gonna be fine.

-Dad. -What?

Dad, not while you're driving.

Okay, just… Will you Google Akron for me? A-K-R-O-N.

Okay. Development business?

Yeah, just get me their phone number.

All right, it's ringing.

No, no, don't call them. Don't… Don't call them.

-Uh, hello? -Akron Development.

Oh, yeah. Hey, I'm, uh… Would you connect me to, um, Allen, please?

-Which Allen? Jacobs or… -Allen Ginger.

Excuse me?

Uh, Allen. You know, Allen. He's-He's-He's-He's a redhead.

He's about, you know, this tall. Frank's his boss.

-Oh. You mean Allen Murphy? -Yes, Allen Murphy. Yes.

-Okay. Allen Murphy doesn't work at AKRON. -What? No, he-he-he does. Doesn't he?

No, Allen's an independent contractor. He doesn't...

Don't-Don't-Don't mess with that. Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Got bad mojo.

-Hello? -Allen doesn't work here.

Yes, he does.

No, Allen is hired independently. He doesn't work at Akron.

Okay, gotcha. All right. Thank you.

-Oh, my God. -Who's Allen?

Allen. Who is Allen? Allen is a bad guy.

B for bad. Like, Regina George bad.

Okay, then why do you wanna talk to him?

'Cause I'm a good guy, and that's what we do.

We call up bad guys,

make 'em answer the phone.

-Huh? Right? -Mmm.

Oh.

I liked it gray.

I know. But I gotta court the youth vote.

I think it's important.

You think it'll look natural?

Yeah.

You're lying.

I missed you. You should have come by sooner.

I know. I know. I missed you too.

Oh, we gotta be careful right now. All eyes on me.

But I just feel like I should be there for you in this moment.

When you need me the most.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

It's funny.

-Dale and I hardly talked that last year… -Hmm.

…but…

Now the house feels too quiet.

I miss him puttering around in his office.

Sure.

What was that?

Maybe a bird?

Oh.

-You fucking asshole! -Is that Maryann?

-And you fucking whore! -What the… Shit.

I've had enough.

Here we go.

You are so sick.

-You're both sick, selfish fucks. -No, no. No, no. No, no.

H-How could you do this again? How could you do this to me?

All right, make yourself busy, will you. I gotta pay some bills.

Okay.

My head.

-Dad, the van's still here. -Oh.

Hey, Frannie. Got all that Shania Twain you ordered.

Who? I did not order any Shania Twain.

Did too. Says so right here on my fake ledger.

Are you open?

Dig your heart out. Give me hope for your generation.

Oh.

-Cheers, Dad. -Get in there.

Hey, Pedo.

What the fuck, man? You're supposed to protect me. I got kidnapped.

What the fuck are you talking about?

What am I talking about? I was abducted last night right outside my own van.

-Outside, right here? -Yeah, right here. Right there.

Man, you're a grown-ass man. Throw hands.

What the fuck happened? Hey, I'm security in the bookstore,

not the fucking sidewalk.

You're supposed to watch me, not the fucking books.

All right, you need to chill out. Acting like the goddamn president.

-I'm security of the bookstore. -All right. Yeah, what do I pay you for?

Whoa, hey, hey, hey, This brings up a good point.

I wanna talk to you about this man right here.

When we were in lockup, yeah. This man protected me.

He's my cousin, Henry, part of Deadly Natives.

Wait. I… I thought you-you-you hated the Deadly Natives.

Well, yeah, we're… we're ops and shit, but, you know, we're still family.

We gotta look out for each other.

But, hey, hey, this is… this is good because… It's perfect.

He can watch out here. He's also Mr. Fix It too.

He can fix toilets, cars, phones.

No. I'm not hiring anybody else.

Man, what the fuck he mean? Kidnapped? He's a grown-ass man.

I was here all fucking night working. I didn't see jack shit, dude.

Oh, yo, just stick around, dude. You'll win him over.

It looks like blood, but it's not. Okay?

-I don't give a shit. -Cool.

Cool makeup. You look like redneck Elton John.

-Don't fuck with me, okay? -Shit.

Yeah. That's what I owe you

and here is an advance, Mrs. Funny Pants.

All right, did Ray come in with the… with the Thompson books?

Oh, Ray? No, I haven't seen him. You sell some first editions or a kidney?

Okay, listen, I'm gonna need you to watch Francis for a little while

and don't ask me any questions, okay?

Every day on time. Not Indian time, white people time.

Yeah.

Just to be clear, I'm not your boss. I'm not your employer.

I do have one job for you. Okay?

-Waylon, stop calling me Pedo. Got it? -Bet.

All right, let me explain the job. You see this car?

-Yeah. -Yeah, I want you to get rid of it.

-Get rid of it? -Yeah, make it disappear. I want it gone.

-Why? -Hold on a second. Here, take this.