Mega Python vs. Gatoroid

Come on. Come on.

Okay. Let's go.

We can’t outrun him, Dr. Riley.

Ah, my gosh! He's coming really fast.

Yeah. So?

Everybody can relax, 'cause nobody's going to prison tonight.

All right, hold on!

See? I told you we'd be fine.

He's back!

Okay, hold on again.

Whoa!

Dr. Riley, this is not what I signed up for.

You know what? People like Mr. Robbins make me sick.

They're just buying these animals that belong in the wild

and treating them like possessions.

But breaking and entering is illegal.

You know what? I don’t care about the law. This is our chance lo make a difference.

Let's go!

You guys did such a good job tonight.

Thanks, Dr. Riley.

I just wish we could do this every night.

Oh, well, these things freak me out.

That's it, that's it. Okay.

You're free to go now.

Go on.

Ow! Ow!

You ready to go home, Bubba?

Bubba?

oh, Bubba.

Shoot, they already look angry.

Zeke, do you want me to arrest you right now?

Sorry, Ms. Terry. Accident.

Well, if everyone had an accident like that,

the entire ecosystem would be ruined.

Hey, Terry, what about our permits?

Yeah, what about them?

Hey, listen, what about our permits?

Look, I told you guys before,

and the USGS confirmed it.

The gator population is down. no permits this season.

Hold on. I got my money right here,

and the law says first come, first served, and I was here first.

He was here first.

Yeah, we got a legal right to hunt them gators.

Two apiece. you can't stop us.

If I don't give you those permits, you can't hunt

unless you all wanna go to jail.

Uh, we don't wanna go to jail.

Been there.

All right, you heard her. get out. Move!

Whippersnapper.

Show's over. keep moving. Keep going.

Hey, hon, Justin called. Wants to meet you for lunch.

Okay.

All right, we got only two months left to finish the restoration.

And we still have to rewire the whole place.

Hey, baby.

Yeah, I can make it down there by 1:00 for lunch.

What's up?

Go over the color scheme for the wedding?

Yeah, right. I know.

All right. I'll see you then.

I love you. Bye.

Hey, hey, you boys hunting people now?

What's that?

Nah. Hunting snake. Big damn snake.

Oh, yeah? Whe-where is this big snake?

It's in my pants. You wanna see?

Looks more like a Lumbricus terrestris to me.

Oh, what's that? Some kind of big old anaconda?

Earthworm.

Shut up.

So, uh, where exactly did you see it?

It was right over here. Here, come here.

Oh, Ms. Nikki, I wouldn't do that.

This snake is huge.

It must have been 15 feet at least.

I doubt that.

No, I know what I saw.

Look, don't believe me if you don't want.

The snake was here, and it was a python or a conda.

I know. I seen plenty of them big suckers in Thailand

where my wife's family's from.

He's got one of them mail-order wives.

Like you ain't.

All right. You know what? It's just a good thing you missed.

It's gator season!

Sounds like Zeke again.

Crap the bed, look at that.

Oh, man, look at him. He's going for the gator.

I got 10 on the python.

Look at him.

I got 20 on the gator. That gator's gonna chomp his ass.

What the hell is that?

That's the sound he makes right before he's ready to strike.

Well, it's creepy.

Kill it.

Hey, what are you doing? Don't kill them!

Just please don’t kill 'em, all right?

I'm not gonna. Uh! Sorry.

Oh! I'm trying to lure the snakes.

Why would you do that?

So you people don't kill them. I'm using pheromones.

What's a pheromone?

Oh, never mind. I'll be right back. Don't hurt him.

Hurt him?

That woman's got a thing for snakes.

I don't like snakes. Killed Bubba.

That's 72 dead gators this month.

I think I'm gonna have to bust out the scuba gear and get the rest of it.

Damn it, Zeke. I'm gonna have to go take care of this.

Listen, if Justin calls for lunch, tell him I'll be at the canal, okay?

All right.

Bitch.

[truck radio plays country rock music]

Everything okay? You need some help?

Oh, no. All good. Thanks.

All righty. Have a good one.

Damn!

Die! Augh! Augh!

The-the python. You killed it.

Well, yeah. It was, uh, it was nothing.

Nothing? Wha-what's wrong with you? Huh?

What? Lady, you were almost bitten in half.

Look, these-these snakes need to be released back into their natural habitat,

not run over by some murderer in a truck!

Yeah, well, you're welcome.

He swallowed the dog whole. I had to kill him.

Baby!

Babe.

Kiss her like a real man.

Put your tongue down her throat.

I just killed a 20-foot python back there.

Am I your hero or what?

Crap.

So I'm just not a hero today.

Oh, no, honey babe.

It just means that there's more than one of these things.

Whoa.

At least we know now what's decimating the gator population.

I want these snakes gone.

Okay.

Tonight. We have to set traps.

They're not native to this environment.

They could destroy all wildlife. I have to kill them right away.

Well, me and my boys can just shoot 'em.

That is, if you'll give us the permits and everything.

Zeke, spread the word.

It is now snake hunting season.

Ha-ha!

That's what I wanted to hear.

Get 'em, boys.

Hunters are cowards. Stop the madness.

Hunters are cowards. Stop the madness. Hunters are cowards. Stop the madness.

Just make sure that you cut it right back here behind the skull.

And then, and this is very important,

once you get that head off,

you gotta pith it as fast as you can.

Just scramble its brains around like that, all right?

Otherwise,

otherwise this head can stay alive for up to an hour.

No kidding?

Yeah, just stay alive and get you.

I hate snakes.

Hunters are cowards. Stop the madness. Hunters are cowards. Stop the madness.

Come on, people.

Hunters are cowards. stop the madness. Hunters are cowards. Stop the madness.

They've been here all morning. What do you wanna do about it?

Ah, it's just college kids trying to save the world. It's hunting season.

There's always a few wack jobs.

Just keep 'em 20 feet from these hunters over here, though.

Are you sure you wanna issue those special hunting permits?

I'm thinking in this case, the cure might end up being worse than the disease.

It's possible.

The ones we're looking for are about twice this size.

Won't wrap around your arm. Wrap around your whole body.

Okay, listen up. The locations you've been authorized to hunt these snakes

are the Francis S. Taylor wildlife area

and the southern Glades wildlife area.

And I want you to stay in groups of two. Any questions?

How many of them pythons are out there?

We really don't know. We're hoping that we get a handle on that before they can multiply.

But pythons can lay up to 100 eggs per clutch, so there might be a lot of 'em.

Please, you have got to stop this. I mean, these are living creatures.

They can adapt and survive.

You know what, ma'am? Don't touch me.

Ooh, somebody had bitch for breakfast.