His Three Daughters

So, you've been good, right?

I mean, other than this?

He seems okay. At least better than how I was picturing.

Not too different than last time I was here.

Hard to tell whether he's in pain. I mean, at least while he's asleep.

But you've been on top of that, yes?

Because I think that's the thing, is for it to be as painless as possible.

The trick is, I guess, the thing I'm saying

is that I hope we can make this easy on him.

Just not make a thing out of anything.

If we disagree, we talk it out without getting heated, or yelling,

or anything that's going to upset him.

We handle it like adults, like the age we are.

I really don't see what there is to disagree about anyways.

At the end of the day, the hard truth is he's dying.

There's nothing either one of us can do to stop that from happening.

I'm not trying to be cold, but it's a matter of being there for him,

being here.

Things from the past don't matter, not right now.

If there are things to work out, they can wait.

I really hope you agree.

I'm upset. I know you are too. We all are. It's hard. It sucks.

Let's not make it harder, okay?

I did see…

I did see that the DNR never got signed like I asked.

Quite a few times.

I got it, it's not that easy.

Well, it was easy, actually. Now it's a lot harder.

I'm not making this a thing.

I'm just saying it's harder now that he's not seeing doctors.

I have to get Dr. Sanders here, or someone who can witness his signature,

and it would've been just a lot simpler when you were taking him in.

I don't know how much time I have.

He has.

It's important.

It's really important.

He opened his eyes for a bit.

That was nice. He knows we're here.

I could tell that made him happy.

I know.

I promise I won't be like this the whole time.

I'm not going to just cry through it all. Just for now.

It's weird to be away, you know, from Mirabella and David.

That's part of it.

- It's really my first time. - You could've brought them.

No, no, it's good they're not here.

They're fine.

I'd rather the memory be from our last visit.

He was better. That's what hurts about this more.

He was still sick, of course, but he was still so there,

so able.

I just didn't think things would get to this, not so suddenly.

I've seen too many movies, probably, especially the ones made for children.

With Mirabella these past couple of years, everything's so nice, bright.

Even if they get heavy,

there's a beauty and clarity to it all.

This feels so real.

I'm rambling. I'm sorry. It's the jet lag.

I get even more emotional when I fly.

Anyway…

It's nice that it's us, just us.

This is the way it should be. The way he would want it.

I interrupted something. I'm sorry.

How are you, Rachel? I feel like we haven't spoken since Thanksgiving.

How are you?

I'm all good.

I don't know what you want me to say. I'm good. That's basically it.

Well, she's definitely high. The whole place stinks like weed.

Fuck yeah, I'm high.

High as a motherfucker.

First thing I do in the morning is I roll a blunt,

then I smoke at least three more throughout the day.

You know why? ‘Cause that's how I do shit.

I don't care that you smoke weed.

It's just not right to smoke it in the house when someone is sick.

Well, Daddy doesn't mind.

Uh, trust me, I've been smoking around him all this time,

and he never had an issue.

In fact, he likes the smell.

Told me more than a few times.

It's the smoke. The smoke, not the smell. The man is dying. Just go outside.

Damn, it took you five minutes.

Five minutes, right? To just get in my shit.

A second ago it was, "Let's just get along."

Yes. Yes. Let's settle down. There's no reason for this to be an issue.

And for her to take her shitty weed and smoke it outside.

Shitty weed?

Oh, please. No, I get top-shelf.

Not that dog shit you smoked all day long, right?

- You think I forgot? - That was high school.

I've grown up quite a lot since then, unlike others.

Grown up? Still a bitch.

Rachel, Katie, no. Let's just stop.

Look.

Hi. Were you trying to find us?

Please, please. Come sit down.

- I'm sorry, we were-- - No. No need to apologize.

I understand what a stressful situation it is.

It's natural.

It's a hard time.

While my partner Mirabella was in the room with your father,

I was hoping to talk you through where we are at the moment.

"Mirabella"?

That's my daughter's name.

- Wow. - Really? It's a beautiful name.

-She's three. -Oh, that's nice.

It's also very nice that you're all here at a time like this.

It's not always like that.

Things happen in families.

Sometimes people can't be here because of medical reasons.

Sometimes it's just, you know, other things.

I understand his wife passed some years ago.

He was married twice.

Yes, she did.

Breast cancer about 20 years ago, right?

Sorry to hear that. I don't know what that process was like,

but I think it would be helpful to understand the process here

now that your father's off food and liquid.

I, or Mirabella, or both of us, if possible,

will be here each morning around this time,

but you will have my number.

I'll do my best to answer any questions or come here if need be.

It will be us you call when he does pass.

We can make the declaration of death

unless a medical reason brings him to the hospital beforehand.

I'm sorry. It's just so weird that's her name.

I keep picturing my daughter when you mention her.

Please, go on. Sorry.

So,

it's good news that your father responds well to the pain treatment.

His cancer is very advanced, and when we are in pain,

our bodies naturally try to fight it,

even if it's actually just hurting us more.

His ease will possibly quicken the process in a organic way.

That's really the big difference between hospice and hospital care,

which aims to extend life.

As painless as possible is our goal always.

But another thing is,

it's not just our bodies that affect the length of time it takes to pass.

I can't tell you the science on this,

but I can tell you in the 12 years I've been working in hospice,

it has become very clear to me that the mind

is just as big a factor as the body.

And that's really where you can be a huge help,

in case he's holding on, not wanting to go out of fear.

You can help by letting him know, by reassuring him,

that it's okay.

The mind doesn't have the power to heal or reverse the disease,

not at the stage it is,

but if he knows he'll be okay,

that you all will be okay,

it could mean a great deal.

- Sorry. Angel, right? - Mm-hmm.

Angel, that's quite a name considering what you do.

I… I wanted to ask you,

my father was supposed to sign a DNR, a do-not-resuscitate form.

But for whatever reason, it didn't happen while he was still going to his doctors.

It's still important to him, though,

which is why I wanted to know how much time he had.

I get it. It's not a simple math equation.

Well, he wasn't clear.

It sounds like it could happen anytime, or it could be a few days, maybe longer.

You should see him. He doesn't look well.

It was only a month ago I saw him, I think,

but it seems like years looking at him now.

The plan is, at least at the moment, I'll stay here.

We all will take turns watching over.

We'll be together when it happens.

I'm sure that if I left, the moment I left and got too far to rush back

is when it would happen, you know?

Can you hear that?

That's Christina singing to him in his room right now.

I don't know. Let's just hope it's not the Grateful Dead.

That would kill him right away. He hated that music as much as I did.

She's fine. She's good. At least, she appears to be, like always.

Hope the singing doesn't go on too much. Could kill me.

She's…

She's exactly who she's always been.

I asked her to do one simple thing, get the damn DNR signed,

which now is much more complicated to do.

I was hoping the hospice guy could help, but it seems I need to somehow

get a physician here to the house and time it again, somehow,

to know when he's awake and somewhat coherent.

She's out now.

I asked her to stop smoking in the house, and she got upset.

It's like she can't wait till he's dead so the apartment will be hers.

See if I give a fuck what she does in here after that.

Not my responsibility.

Rachel, what are you doing?

You know you can't be doing that out here.

Victor!

Ah. What the fuck are you doing, man?

Fucking my whole shit up.

You shouldn't be doing your whole shit here.

That's the problem.

Shit's legal now.

What, are you stuck in the ‘90s when you last blazed?

Please.

I smoke every night,

but when I get home, inside my own apartment.