You Picked the Wrong Girl

When we first met, you were very

honest about my campaign needing a refresh.

But I don't know anything about political speeches.

I think our best bet is to do this by candlelight.

- Previously on Elle... - Hey!

Principal Anderson either

forgot to purchase a stop sign he ordered for the school entrance or

- he took it for himself. - We break into Anderson's office,

make copies of the receipts, cross-reference them with the budget...

Now we just need an excuse to be in school

- over the weekend. - Hmm,

when did detention get so uncool?

And if any of you set foot outside this room,

you will be expelled.

Whoa. Okay.

Guys, we need to do something.

- And that's not his wife. - So we're saying

this girl is his daughter.

Someone must be blackmailing him.

Guys, I need your help. It's my mom.

Look, thousands of dollars in cash was reported stolen from school today.

They found it in her car.

Sit down.

Honey.

- Do I have an eyelash? - No.

You're sad?

- He's sad? - His face tattoos.

What do teardrops mean?

That he's killed three people

and he wants us to know.

I just made eye contact with him.

Um, I'm a target.

Honey, roll up your sleeves, just look tough.

Why don't you guys go get something to drink?

So their thirst is quenched before they're shanked in the hallway?

We'll be fine. Thanks.

Okay, honey.

It's not how I wanted to spend my Saturday, either.

I'm just glad we were home to get Liz's call.

Yeah. That poor girl.

Can you imagine finding out your mother's been arrested for theft?

Well, you know what they say, there's two sides to every story.

God, I miss L.A.

At least there, we could keep Elle safe from the criminal element.

She trick-or-treated at the Menendez house.

Kitty gave out those full-sized Snickers, though, so...

What are you doing?

Appearing bigger. He's a bear in the wild, honey.

Maintain eye contact. Do not show fear.

You get out of here!

That's right!

Elle and I took a self-defense class at the Y.

Your mom thinks my mom did this.

No, she doesn't.

Okay, yeah, she probably does.

Is there any chance that she did?

- You did not seriously just ask me that. - Well, the police don't

go around arresting the wrong person.

Uh, yeah, they do. She was framed.

Come on, if my mom was the type of person that stole money,

why would she be working three jobs?

Maybe so she doesn't have to work three jobs.

My bad. I thought you changed.

Well-- Liz. Liz, hang on. Wait.

Elle, she couldn't have done this.

Okay? Think about it, this isn't some random person you don't know.

It's my mom.

You're right.

I know Donna and I believe her.

I don't care what it looks like.

In fact...

Hello, you look like you could use a Fruitopia.

Busy.

In the interest of public safety,

I'd like to put a request in to expedite this bailout process.

Are you aware that one of your current detainees

was taken straight from her place of employment

without any of the products from her current skin care regimen?

That seems unethical,

- if not downright illegal. - Oh, my God. Mom.

I'm fine.

You can relax, sweetie.

I'm fine.

Wyatt, Eva, thank you so much.

I am so sorry to have inconvenienced you like this.

No, it's our pleasure. Right, Eva?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

And we're-we're so glad you're okay.

Good news is, I can make my own mascara now,

with coffee and Vaseline.

We know you didn't do this, Donna.

Thank you, honey.

Next order of business, score you a powerhouse attorney.

My mom went to the same Burke Williams as Gloria Allred.

Oh, honey, I don't think she'd remember me.

Didn't you two dry-sauna naked?

That was a whole boob job ago.

Mom.

But what's a little silicone between friends?

No. No, no, no, no. You've already done too much.

And, besides, I already have a lawyer. Ace Bellisario.

Is that that short guy from OJ's team?

No, the guy whose number was scratched into the payphone in my holding cell.

- Oh. - Him.

I'm outside Rainier West High

where I just spoke to Principal Shane Anderson

about the stolen property that investigators say was concessions cash

from sporting events.

Well, it-it was $12,515.

And when the exact amount was discovered in Donna Miller's car, police,

they-they connected the dots. Yeah.

- Slimeball. I hate that guy. - Well, it-it is,

it's disheartening, you know?

Donna was beloved while she was here,

but she was also terminated for a previous theft,

so I-I hope it's not true, but if-if it quacks like a duck.

Did he just compare me to waterfowl?

- This man needs to fry. - It'll be fine.

We'll get you in front of news cameras looking all pretty,

you'll plead your innocence, and everyone will believe you

because the truth always prevails.

And as L'Oréal says,

- "You're worth it." - Good, because

the city is paying me a pretty penny to represent you.

- Ace Bellisario. - Yes,

we spoke on the phone. I'm Donna.

I recognize you from your mug shot, and from being the main character

on the news. Welcome to my office.

I see that my secretary

already got you drinks. We saved our receipts?

Do you have an actual office,

or do you just like talking over the sound of five TVs?

It is currently going through renovations.

They'll call anything "condemned" these days. So,

I hear the cops found

a bunch of money in your car. Ooh.

- Yeah. - Allegedly,

which is why I've prepped Donna for her close-up.

I assume you've contacted all the local news affiliates

so she could defend her name to the public?

Now that is what us lawyers call patently moronic.

I object.

So, Donna is looking at,

uh, ooh, first-degree theft

and a Class B felony. Yeah.

So, what do I do?

Keep your face out of the limelight, you settle for a plea deal,

and you hope that people forget who you are in a few years.

Oh, no, we're not settling.

This needs to be dismissed.

Donna was framed.

Our principal's been skimming money off the school budget.

He's being blackmailed.

And he was about to be caught stealing money to pay off his blackmailer,

so he needed to quickly frame my mom.

Which you can prove?

Not exactly.

The blackmail note was washed away by an aggressive sprinkler system.

- Mm-hmm. - No one's fault, but, um...

I've itemized the school budget

from highest to lowest, and right under "earthquake insurance,"

you'll see the most expensive monthly payments are for

tater tots they don't serve and a Channel One News subscription

- they don't air. - And there's no receipts

for these transactions?

Um...

well, no.

He has receipts.

For everything.

So, no proof of blackmail

and a paper trail that adds up. Right.

You girls need to read a little more Nancy Drew.

Principal Anderson put stolen money

into my mom's car while she was at work.

- We need to take him down. - Actually, that

can't be proved because Donna's Blockbuster had no surveillance.

- Oh, my God. - There are, however, eyewitness accounts

that put Donna at the school the day of the theft,

which is not great for any of us.

Maybe we should get a second opinion.

Okay.

Elle, sweetie, thank you both so much

for trying to straighten this out for me,

but this is not a problem for 16-year-olds.

You should be...

worried about midterms and acne.

Isn't there a winter formal that you're in charge of?

Mr. Bellisario, you're wrong.

We shouldn't forget about Donna. We should celebrate her.

You don't need to come to your own defense if we do it for you.

What-what are-- what are you talking about?

When you were fired, the entire student body

was more than willing to sign my "Rehire Donna" petition.

I just need to re-rally the student body,

get them to say nice things about you,

and show everyone you couldn't possibly have done this.

I-I'm not comfortable admit-admitting I know her.