Fallout

I will do whatever it takes to make sure

the people I love, that is you and that is Janey,

go into a special Vault for management.

A nuclear event would be a tragedy.

But also an opportunity.

Because war, well...

war never changes.

Your wife is going to Vegas next week

to sell Cold Fusion to Robert House.

How would you like to forget everything you've ever known.

Please, yes.

Let's begin.

Steph, if you don't help us,

there won't be a Vault 33 anymore.

When you said "experiment" to Betty, what were you talking about?

Overseer stuff.

We can't be wasting resources on your little club right now.

I'll have you know, my little group is growing in numbers every week.

- You're a snack club. - You're not taking this from me.

I've seen what it's like out there.

I'm just trying to make it better.

It couldn't have been all bad out there. You met that girl.

And maybe she's still out there.

Get that as far away from here as you can.

I'm looking for someone.

What do you plan to do to him when you find him?

You don't happen to have any vials, do ya?

- My name is Roger. - You're turnin'.

Hi!

I was sent here by your father.

Mr. MacLean is watching over this gentleman's wife and daughter.

We were actually beginning to get along.

We need to talk.

My little Sugarbomb.

...sales in Southern California.

We'll be increasing our billboard presence

which means we need to make some aesthetic choices.

So, in actuality,

this is what a five-megaton blast will look like over Los Angeles.

Marketing thinks a ten-megaton blast will look better for the billboards.

Mm, but it won't be a ten-megaton blast.

It'll be multiple five-megaton blasts.

Obviously, it will be multiple blasts for Los Angeles,

but our design team thinks that it will look too busy.

- Mm. - See?

Just a cacophony of puff clouds.

Mm.

- Now, look at that. - Mm-mm-mm.

The bad news is our water chips have a 30% fail rate.

The good news is we'll know which ones fail before installation.

So, we get to choose who runs out of water.

Any, uh, preferences?

Our internal early alert system gives us at minimum 30 minutes

from notice to ignition in downtown Los Angeles.

You know, we'd be crazy not to offer specialized freeway lanes

for our premium customers.

I mean, that's just money on the table right there.

Hi there.

I asked Betty if I could take notes on this one.

She said yes.

So...

here it is.

RobCo presents the automated man.

Spent a lot of time trying to make my machines more lifelike,

but, hey, works the other way around, too.

Mr. House, Vault-Tec and RobCo

have always had a special arrangement.

You have multiple Vaults to do with as you wish.

If this is the research you'd like to pursue in the Vaults, you--

You must have missed the telegram.

You're paying me for this.

In exchange, I get Cold Fusion

to power my little project in Vegas.

And what project is that?

Might be above your pay grade.

You'll find out about it after the bombs drop, I guess.

Come on, come on. Fuck.

Uh, little help? Little help?

Son of a bitch.

Dogmeat. Fetch me that satchel.

Come on.

Go on, now.

I, I need my vials.

No.

I don't need the fuckin' hat.

I need that satchel.

You stupid fuckin' dog!

Not today.

Last night I was thinking about when I proposed to you.

Catalina.

We walked out to that...

romantic point.

The rocks were all covered in seagull shit.

I'll never forget the sound it made when I took a knee.

You know, the thing that I-I can't figure out...

is were you a monster back then?

Or did you become one later?

Excuse me?

"War never changes."

I know what you're planning to do, Barb.

Morning.

Beautiful day, isn't it?

Please, after you.

Oh, come on. I insist you go.

- Oh, no, no, no. - Please, after you.

Coffee?

I finished another batch.

- Here you go, Shelley. - Fantastic.

Let me take those out of your way.

We never got to discuss All Quiet, did we?

I guess we were waiting 'til after the wedding.

Right?

That end, that was a humdinger, huh?

I didn't finish it.

That's okay.

You've been busy.

What did you think about the parts that you did read?

I found it very upsetting.

Can't disagree with you there.

What aspect upset you most?

To me, the most troubling was that everyone

seemed to be fighting over nothing.

The French and the German, what was the difference between them, really?

I mean, other than the uniforms?

I saw the same thing up on the surface.

People fighting over the most petty things, like bottle caps.

Is that what you saw when you were there?

But, you know, some things just never change.

People just wanna kill each other, don't they?

I think it's the only way for people to feel safe.

It's ironic. To feel safe, we have to hurt people.

Even kill them, because the--

It's crazy...

the war instinct, hm?

I'm bringing you back to Vault 33 to face justice.

For murdering the citizens of Shady Sands.

You have the right to remain silent until the Vault Council

assigns you a legal counselor.

For a second there, I thought the Wasteland had changed you.

If you wanna make this official, you should use...

these handcuffs.

What are you doing?

Surrendering.

Why?

I did what I did to protect you.

But maybe it came at too high a price.

And there comes a time in a man's life when he has to take responsibility

for what he's done, and for me, that time has come.

You have come, Sugarbomb.

But, please, just let me tell you what I've been doing here.

- No. We're going. - Just give me a chance.

I think you'll call what I've been doing redemptive.

You mean brainwashing those people?

I wouldn't call it brainwashing.

It's a very sophisticated process

- and we've been having amazing results-- - I don't care! Let's go.

You know how I get with all my little projects.

Do you remember the field...

with the potato batteries when you were five?

And you had a little flashlight, and you would run around

recharging the batteries with your little red flashlight,

do you remember that?

Let's go.

Oh, come on.

You sure we gotta leave it?

They have trackers in these things.

They'll come for it.

That Armor's more trouble than it's worth.

Oh, jeez.

You know, if that isn't a sacred remnant, I don't know what is.

We gotta sell it, huh?

Wh... No.

- Huh. - Absolutely not.

Why... we are not selling it.

Yeah, right, right, of course. Not gonna sell it, sell it.

We would, you know... find a buyer

and sort of, you know, you put... put out feelers.

- We just... we do a trade. - No.

- Trade? - No, we're not giving it away, alright?

A trade, that's not... a trade, you get something.

Absolutely not.

We definitely gotta sell it.

I told you. We'll give it to the right person.

A good person.

Name a good person, seriously.

That girl I met.

- The Vault Dweller. - Yeah.

Yeah, y'know, uh, I would be a good person too

if I grew up on top of a mountain of food, and supplies,

in some cozy little impenetrable home.

Wouldn't look like this, that's for sure.

Wouldn't have to steal, and stab,

and fib all the goddamn time just to get by.

But if we sell it, guess what? Then we'll be rich.

And then we'll have the means to be one of those good people you're talking about.

'Cause I've seen a lot o' things.

You know, like, crazy things.

But "good people"?

No.

Where were you born again, Thaddeus?