The Family McMullen

Come on. Are you kidding me?

Is that a good-looking frickin' bird or what?

Nice.

What are our thoughts on Patty's boyfriend?

I didn't know he was coming.

Yeah, neither did I. And for the record,

I am not at all happy about it.

Here's what I don't get.

What is my daughter doing with this frickin' guy?

Why would you say something like that?

He seems like a very nice young man.

Because there's something about him I don't trust

and I can see it in his eyes.

In his eyes?

He's too preppy. You know, he's too put together.

I don't like that.

- "Put together" is a problem? - Yeah.

And you know, he's not particularly handsome, is he?

It occurred to me.

Who does he remind you of? This guy right here.

Very funny.

So he's a nice, sweet, put-together kid.

Probably goes to church every Sunday, too.

Another strike against him.

See why you two heathens don't like it.

Speaking of not going to church, where's Leslie?

Are she and the kids coming? What's going on?

Oh. Well, yeah. No. Yes.

The boys are with their significant others,

and Leslie and I...

Well, she decided that she was gonna be in Fairfield.

- She always loved Fairfield. - Beer here. Cold beer.

Always enjoyed Fairfield. Tommy, great timing!

- Hi, Tommy. - Hey.

You gotta try one of our new brews, huh.

All right, you got it.

Hey, Dad, did you know

Patty's bringing the wannabe blue blood to dinner today?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were just discussing.

We're not happy about it.

You people are impossible.

Can we just give this kid a chance, okay?

After all, it's Thanksgiving.

Hello, we're here.

Speak of the devil.

Patty, we're in the kitchen.

- Hi. - Hi!

- Happy Thanksgiving. - Hey, everyone.

- Wow! - Sorry, we're a little late.

We were trying to make a pecan pie.

This is the third attempt.

Third attempt's the charm. Love it.

- Oh, hello. Hi. - Hello. Hi, hi.

Hey there. How are you, TJ?

Happy Thanksgiving. Can we get you a cold beer?

Dad, please. We talked about this.

His name is Terrence Joseph

and you will call him that, okay?

I know, but Terrence Joseph, it's such a mouthful.

You never went by anything short, huh?

Terrence Joseph.

Pay no attention to my brother.

Everyone in this house will be happy

to call you by your Christian name.

Oh, well, thank you.

And, yeah, beer would be great.

Here you go, handsome.

A pint of McMullen's finest.

And can I just say

that is a hell of a sweater, TJ.

Good to see you, buddy.

Oh, thank you.

And... and Barry, can I just say

I wanted to thank you especially for having me here

and let me join the family on such short notice.

Or... or should I call you Finbar?

Oh.

See, we got a wise guy on our hands, do we, huh?

You put him up to that, call me Finbar?

No, Dad, it is your name.

It is my name, that is true.

But there was only one person on the planet

who was ever allowed to call me Finbar,

and that was my mother.

Barry, I call you Finbar.

I call you Finbar.

All right, so there were three people on the planet

who are allowed to call me Finbar.

However, welcome to our home.

Why don't you guys hang up your coats

and we'll sit down to dinner shortly, all right?

Yeah, yeah. That sounds good.

Thank you, Barry.

Yeah, I'll be there.

Really?

Finbar.

Great job.

Terrence Joseph, welcome.

Before we dig into this beautiful feast,

I'd like to say a few words.

I'd love for us to raise a glass

to what this day is really about,

which is giving thanks.

I married into the McMullen clan,

and I have always been eternally grateful

that I get to be a part of this family.

You know, after Jack died,

Barry, you and Patrick,

you... just took me under your wing,

always made me feel like I was home.

Of course, Thomas, Patricia, I see you as my own,

and I just cherish this family. I really do.

So, I am just grateful that I get to sit here

at this table with all of you today.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving.

And speaking of giving thanks and being grateful...

I have an announcement to make.

Terrence Joseph and I are engaged.

Oh.

Oh, jeez.

What are you talking about?

You are engaged?

I mean, how long has this been in the works?

Well, we have been talking about it for quite some time,

so it really came as no surprise

when he popped the question last night.

Well, it certainly is a surprise to me, all right?

And I have to admit, it kind of breaks my heart

and not because I'm not happy for you,

but it's because TJ here didn't have the decency

to come and get my approval beforehand.

Dad, it's Terrence Joseph.

- We talked about this. - Okay, then.

Terrence Joseph, be thankful I'm not a traditionalist.

Otherwise, you and I would be in the backyard right now

with the boxing gloves on.

You know, Dad, should you like,

I could go run up,

get the boxing gloves right now.

Unfortunately, they're not joking.

Well, I'm a little shocked.

Because I would have thought,

you know, we would have talked about this. Maybe...

We wanted it to be a surprise.

Well, mission accomplished.

Can you remind me how long you've been dating?

Since law school.

And ever since the first date,

we just knew we were on the same page

She's talking about their life goals.

Certain benchmarks that they wanna hit at the same time.

Weird Type A shit like that.

Well, you know, I hate to rain on a parade.

But getting married is not something

you wanna check off your to-do list.

I mean, you make a hasty decision,

it can affect your entire life.

Not to mention the fact that you're both too young.

I mean, look at Dad.

He got married when he was too young, both times.

And God forbid you end up like me.

Listen, I actually don't think it has so much to do with age.

Thank you, Aunt Molly.

I think it has more to do with life experience.

That was what cursed your Uncle Jack and me.

Specifically because neither one of us

ever slept with anybody before we got married.

That came back to bite us in the ass.

Do you mind how? How so?

Oh, now he speaks.

Well, great question, Terrence Joseph.

Their brother, Jack, cheated on me.

Now, I did forgive him, but I never forgot.

Or maybe I forgot, but never forgave.

Either way, after he had his affair,

I exacted my own vengeance, and I had my own little fling.

- You did not. - I did.

Couple of them, actually. And you know what?

That's what showed me that our marriage was a mistake!

I really don't think we need to relive all that, Molly.

And I, for one...

don't want to let the failures of other marriages

soil the advent of this one.

So if I may, I'd like to propose a toast

to the newly engaged couple.

Yes, please do, Uncle Pat.

May we truly celebrate the occasion today

marking the beginning of your life-long commitment.

Lifelong, guys. Let that sink in.

Dad, can you tell him to shut up, please?

I think he and your aunt

are both making very valid points.

When two people take each other

into their innermost hearts, as you two clearly have done...

that love and trust

must never be taken for granted.

And sometimes... sometimes it is.

I just want you...