K-Pax (K-PAX)

A DOLLAR FOR A HOMELESS VET. COME ON, LITTLE MAN.

COME ON, LITTLE MAN. I FOUGHT THE WAR WITH YOUR DADDY.

Y'ALL AIN'T PAID ME FOR THIS LEG YET. THANK YOU, SUGAR.

JACKIE CHAN! JACKIE CHAN!

SHANGHAI NOON.

I TAKE TRAVELER'S CHECKS. ARIGATO TO YOU TOO. THANK YOU, SUGAR.

HERE YOU GO. THANKS.

YOU KIDS!

HERE. HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

WHAT HAPPENED?

STEP AWAY FROM HER.

OH, MAN, HE AIN'T DONE NOTHING.

THOSE KIDS. WHO TOOK YOUR BAG? THIS MAN?

NO, IT WAS A COUPLE OF PUNKS.

THEY CAME AND THEY JUST RAN OFF.

FOUR-EIGHT, THIS IS ROMANO. ROBBERY AND ASSAULT VICTIM...

WITH FACIAL WOUND AT EAST 42nd ENTRANCE.

SIR, I'D LIKE YOU TO JUST STAND RIGHT THERE.

CERTAINLY. ARE YOU TRAVELING SOMEWHERE?

I HAVE ARRIVED. MY TRAVELS ARE OVER FOR THE TIME BEING.

WHERE'S YOUR LUGGAGE?

I DON'T REQUIRE LUGGAGE. DO YOU HAVE A TICKET?

TRAIN TICKET? TICKET STUB?

I DIDN'T ARRIVE BY TRAIN.

WOULD YOU REMOVE YOUR SUNGLASSES FOR ME, PLEASE?

OH, I'D RATHER NOT. I'D FORGOTTEN, BUT I MEAN, WOW,

YOUR PLANET IS REALLY BRIGHT.

I SEE. EAST 42, WE HAVE AN E.D.P.

I HAVE TO ASK YOU TO COME WITH US, SIR.

OF COURSE.

FREDDY!

DID YOU SEE THIS FELLA COME OUT OF A GATE?

HE DIDN'T COME FROM NO GATE. BROTHER CAME FROM NOWHERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

YEAH, FREDDY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

I DON'T WANNA GO OUTSIDE, BECAUSE THERE'S THINGS THAT CAN KILL YOU--

THANK YOU.

IF YOU BREATHE ALL THOSE CHEMICALS OUT THERE,

NOT TO MENTION THE COSMIC RAYS AND THE WEST NILE VIRUS,

AND THAT OTHER ONE--

THE NEW AIRBORNE PIGEON DISEASE NOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT.

THE NEW PIGEON DISEASE. I'VE HEARD OF THAT.

ANOTHER THING THAT'S BEEN BOTHERING ME IS THE FOOD.

THE CAFETERIA SERVES LUKEWARM FOOD, FULL OF GERMS.

YOU REALLY NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT, DR. POWELL.

HEAT IS THE ONLY THING THAT KILLS GERMS. HEAT.

POINT TAKEN. WE'LL LOOK INTO THAT RIGHT AWAY.

IN THE MEANTIME, I WANT YOU TO START TAKING YOUR MEDICATION AGAIN.

IT'LL HELP YOU SLEEP. AND YOU NEED THE SLEEP, ERNIE.

SLEEP IS GOOD.

IS OUR TIME UP?

ONLY FOR TODAY, ERNIE.

YOUR WIFE, BRING HOME A BOTTLE OF WINE.

YEAH. AND DR. CHAKRABORTY.

A TRANSFER FROM BELLEVUE HE WANTS YOU TO TAKE A LOOK AT.

GREAT. WHO IS IT THIS TIME? JESUS CHRIST OR JOAN OF ARC?

DR. CHAKRABORTY DIDN'T SAY.

HE ARRIVED AT BELLEVUE A MONTH AGO,

SUSPICION OF HALLUCINOGENIC INTOXICATION.

BUT, UH, HE WAS FOUND NEGATIVE FOR SUBSTANCES OF ANY KIND.

HIS EKG, HIS BLOOD VALUE ARE ALL NORMAL.

THERE'S NO SIGN OF CONCUSSION, NO BRAIN TUMOR,

NO TEMPORAL LOBE, EPILEPSY, NO INDICATION OF ORGANIC ABNORMALITY WHATSOEVER.

HOWEVER, AFTER ONE MONTH,

HIS AMNESIA AND HIS DELUSION HAVE PERSISTED.

HE CLAIMS TO BE NOT HUMAN.

A VISITOR FROM ANOTHER PLANET.

THEY ADMINISTERED THORAZINE ON THIS GUY FOR THREE WEEKS...

AT 300 MILLIGRAMS A DAY, AND HE WAS UNRESPONSIVE?

HOW CAN YOU BE UNRESPONSIVE TO 300 MILLIGRAMS OF THORAZINE?

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

THAT'S WHY THEY SENT HIM TO YOU.

TERRIFIC.

NO I.D., NO MISSING PERSONS REPORT MATCHING HIS DESCRIPTION.

WHAT'S THIS?

HE HAD IT ON HIM.

WELL, LET'S HOPE EXTRATERRESTRIALS QUALIFY FOR MEDICAID.

HE'S HERE, DOCTOR.

THANK YOU, JOYCE.

MEDICAL RECORD 2-8-7. CALLS HIMSELF PROT.

[ Knock At Door, Door Opens ]

THIS ONE'S AS GENTLE AS A PUSSYCAT, DOC.

COME IN. HAVE A SEAT.

"HAVE A SEAT." CURIOUS EXPRESSION.

WELL, LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M--

DR. MARK POWELL, CHIEF OF CLINICAL PSYCHIATRY...

OF THE MANHATTAN PSYCHIATRIC INSTITUTE.

GOOD. YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

WELL, NOW, UH... PROT, IS IT?

"PROTE." I SEE, "PROTE."

WELL, PROT, WE'RE HERE TO-- MAY I?

PLEASE.

RED DELICIOUS. YOU CALL THIS VARIETY.

IT'S MY FAVORITE.

I'D LIKE TO BEGIN BY ASKING YOU...

IF YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE.

OF COURSE. YOU THINK I'M CRAZY.

WE PREFER THE TERM "ILL." DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ILL?

A LITTLE HOMESICK, PERHAPS.

REALLY. WHERE IS HOME?

K-PAX.

K-PAX?

CAPITAL "K," HYPHEN, CAPITALS "P-A-X."

K-PAX IS A PLANET.

BUT DON'T WORRY, I'M NOT GOING TO LEAP OUT OF YOUR CHEST.

I'M NOT WORRIED.

IT'S JUST THAT I'M ONLY FAMILIAR WITH NINE PLANETS.

WELL, ACTUALLY, THERE ARE TEN, BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER.

I'M NOT FROM YOUR SOLAR SYSTEM.

K-PAX IS ABOUT 1,000 OF YOUR LIGHT-YEARS AWAY FROM HERE...

IN WHAT YOU WOULD CALL YOUR CONSTELLATION LYRA.

THAT'S QUITE A WAYS.

I'M CURIOUS. HOW DID YOU GET TO EARTH?

IT'S A MATTER OF HARNESSING THE ENERGY OF LIGHT.

I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CRAZY TO YOU.

YOU BEINGS ARE EONS AWAY FROM DISCOVERING LIGHT TRAVEL.

YOU TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT?

OH, NO. WE CAN TRAVEL MANY TIMES THAT SPEED. VARIOUS MULTIPLES OF "C."

OTHERWISE, THE TRIP HERE WOULD HAVE TAKEN ABOUT 1,000 YEARS NOW, WOULDN'T IT?

WHAT IF, UM, I WERE TO TELL YOU...

THAT ACCORDING TO A MAN WHO LIVED ON OUR PLANET NAMED EINSTEIN,

THAT NOTHING CAN TRAVEL FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT?

I WOULD SAY THAT YOU MISREAD EINSTEIN, DR. POWELL. MAY I CALL YOU MARK?

YOU SEE, MARK, WHAT EINSTEIN ACTUALLY SAID...

WAS THAT NOTHING CAN ACCELERATE TO THE SPEED OF LIGHT,

BECAUSE ITS MASS WOULD BECOME INFINITE.

EINSTEIN SAID NOTHING ABOUT ENTITIES

ALREADY TRAVELING AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT OR FASTER,

- AT TACHYON SPEEDS. - TACHYON?

I DETECT A NOTE OF SKEPTICISM, DR. POWELL.

OH, NOT AT ALL. IT'S JUST THAT YOU--

YOU SPEAK ENGLISH SO WELL.

I'M AMAZED. WELL, ENGLISH ISN'T THAT DIFFICULT A LANGUAGE TO LEARN.

YOU SHOULD TRY SPEAKING--

I'M-- I'M CONFUSED.

MAYBE YOU CAN EXPLAIN IT TO ME. UH...

HOW IS IT THAT BEING A VISITOR FROM SPACE,

THAT YOU-YOU LOOK SO MUCH LIKE ME...

OR ANYONE ELSE FROM EARTH?

WHY IS A SOAP BUBBLE ROUND?

WHY IS A SOAP BUBBLE ROUND?

YOU KNOW, FOR AN EDUCATED PERSON, MARK, YOU REPEAT THINGS QUITE A BIT.

ARE YOU AWARE OF THAT?

A SOAP BUBBLE IS ROUND...

BECAUSE IT IS THE MOST ENERGY-EFFICIENT CONFIGURATION.

SIMILARLY, ON YOUR PLANET, I LOOK LIKE YOU.

ON K-PAX, I LOOK LIKE A K-PAXIAN.

PROT,

WHY DID YOU WANT TO COME TO OUR PLANET?

WELL, I'VE BEEN HERE MANY TIMES BEFORE.

BUT WHAT BROUGHT ME HERE FIRST? I DON'T KNOW.

PURE CURIOSITY, I GUESS.

I'D NEVER BEEN TO A CLASS BA-3 PLANET BEFORE.

CLASS BA-3?

EARLY STAGE OF EVOLUTION.

FUTURE UNCERTAIN.

AND IF I GIVE ALL MY POSSESSIONS TO FEED THE POOR--

HOWIE. GO ON. TALK TO HIM.

GO ON.

YOU'RE REALLY FROM... UP THERE?

INDEED.

I AM FROM K-PAX.

WHAT--

WHAT SORT OF PLACE IS IT?

K-PAX IS BIGGER THAN YOUR PLANET.

BUT WE ARE CIRCLED BY SEVEN PURPLE MOONS.

BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT,

BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT.

GO ON.

WELL, K-PAX IS MOST LOVELY WHEN K-MON AND K-RIL ARE IN CONJUNCTION.

THOSE ARE OUR TWO SUNS. WHAT YOU WOULD CALL AGAPE AND SATORI.

YOU FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK, ABBY?

YEAH.

I LOST ANOTHER TOOTH.

OH, YEAH? LET ME SEE. HEY! MAYBE THE TOOTH FAIRY WILL COME TONIGHT. HUH?

THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS THE TOOTH FAIRY, DAD.

THERE'S JUST YOU AND MOM.

I FED THEM ALREADY. I COULDN'T WAIT. HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

OH, 6:15 WAS LATE. DIDN'T LEAVE THE STATION 30.

SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THE NEAREST BEAM OF LIGHT.

YOU SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT WHAT?

OH, NOTHING. HOW WAS YOUR DAY? GOOD.

SENT THE DEPOSIT IN FOR THE HOUSE ON THE CAPE FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS OF AUGUST.

WHICH WORKS OUT PERFECTLY, 'CAUSE ABBY DOESN'T GET OUT OF CAMP TILL THE 15th.

SENT THE DEPOSIT IN?

YEAH. COME ON, RACHE.

THAT WASN'T DEFINITE. WE WERE JUST TALKING. I SAID MAYBE.

MAYBE SOMETIME IN AUGUST WE'LL CLEAR IT.

MAYBE. MAYBE WE SHOULD START PAYING YOU FOR YOUR TIME. YOU GOT A FAMILY RATE?

OH, LOOK. THEY PUBLISHED MY LETTER.

I SPOKE WITH NATALIE

ABOUT GOING INTO THE AFTER-SCHOOL PROGRAM NEXT YEAR,

IN CASE I GO BACK TO TEACHING.

AND THIS MORNING MY HEAD FELL OFF,

BUT I WAS ABLE TO SEW IT BACK ON WITH DENTAL FLOSS.

WAXED, OF COURSE. DENTAL FLOSS?

SORRY. I WASN'T LISTENING.

YEAH, I KNOW. LET'S JUST EAT.

TRAIN WAS LATE. I'M TIRED.

AND TO TOP IT OFF, THE CITY IS DUMPING PATIENTS ON US.