Drawn Together

King: hello. King.

Princess clara: hi, father.

My dear clara, what's wrong?

You sound upset.

I don't know, father.

It's just that I feel like there's something missing.

Did you check the colored girl's room?

No, I mean there's something missing from my life.

I was hoping i'd come to this house

And discover who I really am.

You are a princess.

Duh!

I know that, father,

But--but I long for so much more.

Of course you do. Because you're a princess,

And that's what princesses do.

They long for more

Or die in a car crash in France.

Now, let us never speak of this again.

Yes, father.

Xandir: sometimes I think captain hero cares

More about those boots than our friendship.

I bet they never slew

The man troll on rainbow mountain.

Heh--

I said, "slew," right?

You know what's funny, captain hero?

Elder abuse?

Well, yes, elder abuse,

And the fact that we share the same room

But never do anything together.

Like, you know, hang out or go to the mall.

"go to the mall"?

Is that some kind of gay code?

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

No, no, it's not like that.

We could get snow cones, try on outfits--

Oh, and get our picture taken with santa!

Ok, fine.

Whoopee! Hoo hoo! Goody goody!

Captain hero: I figured, what the hell.

Make the gay kid happy.

Besides, I know a certain pony-less superhero

Who had a few choice words for mr. Claus.

Clara: I was sulking around the house

Trying to find ways to cheer myself up,

But nothing seemed to be working.

But then I saw something magical,

Something that would change me forever.

Focus!

Ok, ok, ok.

good evening, delivery man of pizza.

that will be $8.46, please.

Here is your money, kind sir.

Oh, thank you-- wait a second.

Uh, I don't remember ordering this pizza...

With sausage!

Aah!

You suck!

I said, "with sausage!"

Oop!

Hey, what are you doing here?

Captain hero: I was picking out an outfit

For my trip to the mall

When I got an urgent phone call

From the commissioner.

Hello. Commissioner? Captain hero here.

Blah, blah, blah.

I'm captain hero, and I can fly!

And I-- do you mind, fudgey?!

I'm on the phone.

I don't care.

I gotta call my a.A. Sponsor.

I said i'm on the phone!

i'm sorry, commissioner.

That was toot. She is so annoying.

The other day I, like, left my clothes

In the washer for maybe 5 minutes--

Maybe--and she sneaks in, you know,

And she puts her wet towel in the dryer.

So i'm like, "can I at least throw my stuff in with your one towel?"

And she's all, "no!" so i'm like, "whatever!"

Oh, do you have any roommates, commissioner?

What?! Aladdin is about to magic carpet bomb israel?

I'm on my way!

Sorry, xandir, no mall today, gay friend.

why don't you love me, captain morgan?

Huh? Aah!

Oh, no, you're bleeding.

I'll save you, captain morgan.

Clara: I couldn't stop thinking

About foxxy, spanky, and that pizza man.

I needed to learn more.

Well, that's it, spanky.

We's brokah than a newscaster of the same name.

I guess that was our last pizza prank.

wait!

Yo, princess, if you're looking for the pizza,

You're too late. We ate it already.

Here. Here's $8.26.

You too, huh? Here it is.

Jesus, spanky! Put that thing away!

Wait a minute! I thought you wanted to see my thick 8!

That is disgusting!

Then what the hell's the money for?

Here, I want you to have this money

For your little game with the pizza man.

"little game"?

Did you say, "little game"?

The travel size edition of battleship,

That's a little game.

Screwing with the pizza man,

That's a way of life, my friend.

It's who I am.

Clara: that look in spanky's eye.

I hadn't seen anything like it.

It was that passion

That was so missing in my own life.

Wait! Spanky, please.

Take the money.

I need you to.

All right, fine.

Ok, here's how it's gonna go down.

I'm gonna finish my hair.

Spanky, you order the pizza.

And, clara, you go into the confessional

And tell the camera how you never felt so alive.

My first naughty prank.

I've never felt so alive!

Bill withers: ¶ ain't no sunshine when she's gone ¶

¶ it's not warm when she's away ¶

¶ ain't no sunshine ¶

Spanky: the princess was so excited,

I figured i'd give her a chance and let her call the pizza man.

That was a huge mistake.

I mean, it wasn't as big a mistake

As when I converted to islam in August of 2001,

But still pretty big.

Um, I would like to order one large pizza.

Yes, uh, with doody on it!

No! Hello?

Ahem.

sorry about that.

We'll just take the pizza plain.

Just plain.

I'm sorry, spanky.

look, forget it. Ahem.

just let foxxy and me handle it from here.

That way, nothing can possibly go wrong.

Oh, my god!

I braided my hands into my rows!

I can't get 'em out!

Oh, this is so stupid.

Now who's gonna answer the door

While I doot on the pizza?

Who? Come on!

Oh, mr. Spanky, please, if you will allow me to.

I can do it.

No way, josé!

You'll just screw it up again.

Come on, spanky. Give me a second chance.

Didn't you get a second chance

When you were given that dead schoolteacher's liver?

You know, you're right.

I'll let you do it.

Here's to second chances, kid!

Clara: what a fiasco.

The pizza would be here in 30 minutes or less,

And with foxxy's hands stuck in her hair,

She was more useless than a mexican.

hmm?

Clara: pulling off this prank would take a miracle.

Well, hello, mr. Pizza man.

$8.26, please, and this time,

No funny business.

Don't give him the money yet.

Get the pizza first so I can doot on it.

You know, it'd be so much easier for me to pay you

If you give me the pizza first.

Oh, I do not see how that could possibly be easier.

Now, give me the money first!

Abort! Abort!

Ok, pizza man, we'll do it your way.

Oh...

May this life bring you the happiness

It has so consistently denied me.

You incompetent boob!

You gave him the money first,

And now he's gone!

I can't believe I trusted you. Hmm!

pizza man: madam!

You only gave me $5!

I need the full amount, please.

Oh...You're good.

Just, uh, give me a second!

Foxxy: aw, I seen this a million times.

Daddy's little girl falls for some bad boy,

And then she go and get herself pregnant

And sells the child on the black market