Dan Da Dan (ダンダダン)

[Creepy Nuts singing in Japanese]

Huh?

- I said if you ain't gonna lend me no cash,

I ain't takin' you on no date.

But yo, if you put out, I'll take you wherever.

Like a love hotel, but you're payin' for it.

Greedy creep!

I'll-- - Shut up!

What? What'cha gonna do?

Kick my ass?

Man, I'm done!

You're no girlfriend!

You're broke, you won't put out, you're lame--

- Yeah? You're an octopus! Squid! Tuna!

Like, wow.

Calling him seafood is pretty lame.

Cut me some slack.

My first boyfriend just broke up with me!

- And who told you not to go out with him?

Why'd you fall for him, anyway?

- He looked like Ken Takakura. - Again?

You're such a dork.

There's nothing weird about

liking strong, silent types like Ken Takakura!

"I'm an awkward guy."

both: There ain't no dudes alive like that anymore.

What the hell?

All I want is a boyfriend like Ken Takakura.

Come on, universe. I'm not asking for much here.

Why is life so cruel?

Hmm?

God dammit.

Man.

What're you lookin' at, doofus?

Wait, uh...

Put this magnet in it.

This is gonna hurt.

- So, what'cha readin'? Anything cool?

Huh?

Oh, uh...

Buncha losers.

There's nothing but scum in this world.

Ah, this sucks!

I need to blow off some steam or I'm gonna hurt someone!

- Miss Momo Ayase! -

- I think I know what you're into!

Huh?

- I think I know what you're into!

Yeah, you said that twice now.

- There's only one reason someone

like you would talk to me,

and that's the reason you talked to me!

- Sorry, I think you got the wrong idea.

I wasn't looking to be friends with you or anything like that.

Just forget I talked to you. - This is the reason. Look!

Project Pegasus!

The US President went to Mars

and met with aliens!

Wait, what?

- You're into the occult, aren't you?

- Nah, I don't believe in UFOs and aliens

and that kind of stuff.

- They're not UFOs! They'rel UAPs!

Unidentified Aerial Phenomena!

- I didn't ask. Don't care.

- The US military admitted

UAPs exist and reformed their space force!

And now Japan has an aerospace defense force!

Don't you see? Everyone's gearing up

for war in space!

- Okay, bye-bye! - But h--hang on a sec!

There's this new picture of Nessie. Look!

- - There's also stuff about

Lt. Colonel Jim Channon and Skinwalker Ranch!

I don't care!

I just got dumped and I'm pissed off at everything,

and the last thing I need right now

is some nerd pushing their nerdy crap in my face!

That right there is why you got no friends!

There's no chance we'll ever be.

Sorry. That was mean.

Here.

- I don't believe aliens are real

but I believe ghosts are.

- There's no such thing as ghosts!

- What? -

- What kind of jerk goes and laughs

at a girl when she's trying to relate to him?

- You shouldn't have mocked the occult!

For your information,

my grandma's a real life medium. - What?

- You ever see an exorcism? It's totally insane!

The possessed person goes into full-on convulsions!

- Illnesses cause convulsions, too, you know.

Do you need evidence like this to prove something?

- You ever go for a ride in a UFO with an alien before?

- Only an idiot would jump to conclusions like that!

- Ooh, she gave up Ken Takakura for some kooky otaku.

Yeah, right?

She ain't even tryin' to hide it.

Get it, girl.

- I dare you to go to someplace haunted,

and the deal is if you end up seeing a ghost,

you have to be my gopher!

- Only if you go where there's UFOs--I mean UAPs,

and if you see an alien th--then you have to admit they're real

and be my gopher!

- Where did you send me? This place is mega creepy.

Why would aliens hang out here?

- Nagi Hospital is widely known to be a UFO hot spot!

If you go up to the roof,

you're bound to get abducted by one!

- Wait, what do you mean, "abducted?"

- That's when an alien kidnaps you

and does experiments on your body.

- Hold on. Have they experimented on you?

- Of course! I think. - Huh?

- Usually the people who get abducted by aliens

have their memories wiped.

- Have you seen a UFO before or not?

You know regressive hypnosis?

- Oh, great. Dodging the question.

- It doesn't matter if I saw one!

All that matters is I have prof they exist

and you don't have proof they don't.

- Shut up.

Anyway, you find my place yet?.

I found it.

It doesn't look bad.

Okay, I'll start heading inside now!

I'll prove there's no such thing as ghosts!

Oh, you sound scared.

FYI, that place is super haunted.

That's what folks say online.

- Ghosts hate loud noises. That's what folks say.

Online.

- What's with this "online" stuff?

You keep saying that but have you ever seen a ghost?

Nope.

What?

Before you sounded like you see them all the time!

Nah, I haven't.

- But you totally acted like you had!

How can you believe in ghosts when you've never seen one?

That's crazy! - It's not crazy at all.

Remember? I told you. My grandma's a medium.

She's the one who raised me. Both my parents are dead.

Oh, uh, I'm so sorry.

- Don't get all sad and mopey on my account.

My family's weird,

and I'm just trying to tell you where I'm coming from.

Whenever I went out I had to do this ritual pose

for good luck.

Grandma made me hold that pose

the whole way to school.

'Course all the boys laughed at me,

and if I didn't do it,

Grandma'd get mad and I'd feel bad about that.

Then the worst happened.

The boy I liked started making fun of me, too.

I hated my grandma for that.

I told her, "Now the boy I like hates me

'cause of your dumb ritual."

I don't remember exactly but

it was something horrible like that.

We didn't speak for a long time after that.

And I never did the ritual again.

But, like, I get super pissed

if I find out someone's making fun of her.

In the end...

I didn't hate the fact that the boy I liked didn't like me.

No, what I hated was that the boy I liked made fun

of my grandma.

The truth is...

My grandma and her being a medium were special to me.

And I loved that.

She took me in and raised me all by herself.

That's why I believe in what she does.

And that's also why I believe in ghosts, too.

And now it's your turn to tell me why you believe in aliens.

Huh?

I--I don't think that matters.

Oh, don't give me that.

Of course it matters.

- You don't need to have a reason to like something.

Yeah, I guess you don't.

I like this version of you, Occult-kun.