Christmas Karma

Hello?

Hello.

I have been trying to get a hold of you all day.

Speak up. I can't hear you.

I'm not in the office, Mr Sood.

Not at work? Are the markets closed?

No, Mr Sood. But it's Christmas.

Hang Christmas! It's my money you're losing.

I gave you instructions this morning.

We've opened another bottle, Quinn.

Merry Christmas, Mr Sood, you old f...

I have lost a small fortune

while you guzzle away my profits.

Oh, come on, Mr Sood. It's Christmas.

You are no longer my stockbroker.

Looks like my Christmas just came early.

Hello?

Can you hear me?

Christmas is a con. On that you can depend.

Come on, kids! Let's go and see Santa!

Merry Christmas, Mr S.

You still owe me for last year's books and late tax funds.

Oh, come on, Guv. My takings are down.

No-one's spending.

At these prices, I'm not surprised.

As your business manager,

I'm here to tell you the tax man is after you

and it's not my fault If you end up in trouble.

It's Christmas.

I am trying to help you.

I always said a seasonal market

is a bad business model, didn't I?

What are you looking at?

Get on your good foot, baby!

What? It's cold, man.

Bob freezing in here.

Do something about it.

Oh, for god's sake, Bob.

Can you turn the heating up please?

I can't feel my chestnuts anymore.

Can you just put another hoodie on, Ken?

He'll know as soon as he comes in and just see it

when he checks the gas bill.

Is it really worth the hassle?

Unless you're volunteering to come over here and warm

my baubles up for me, then yes.

-You lackey. -Oi!

I'm no lackey.

Just grateful to Mr S giving me a start when I had nothing.

You still got nothing, you Muppet.

If you don't turn the heating up, I will hold you personally

responsible for my infertility.

Alright.

Right. I'll do it. But as a one-off.

One degree!

What? Just be grateful we've all got jobs.

Be home time soon anyway.

I suspect that that wasteman has gone home already.

Yeah. So he doesn't have to look us in the face

to say "No Christmas bonus. No office do."

-When's he ever gone home early? -Hey.

Who fancies a drink?

Ken? Seriously? Are you taking the mick?

Come on, who wants one? Everyone? Fill 'em up.

-Ken, please. -That's it, line 'em up!

Hey, Bob, come away from that window.

Have a festive tipple.

Oh no.

Okay.

Mr Sood.

-Pleasant surprise. -Cratchit.

-Issue everyone their notice. -What?

But Mr S., no harm done.

We were just getting into the Christmas spirit.

If they want to intoxicate themselves and disrespect my

name, on my premises, on my time, I see no other option.

But Mr S, we've got our end of year accounts to complete, and--

Precisely, precisely.

Your disregard for our deadlines is unacceptable.

You are all replaceable.

But it's Christmas Eve.

I suggest you don't say another word or you'll be fired too.

Bah-quaas? Bah-humbug, more like.

-Bob. -Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas Suprit. Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas, Uncle.

-Hey, Bob. Merry Christmas. -Merry Christmas.

Heads up. Your uncle just lost his rag.

What right have you to be merry?

-You're Indian and poor. -Uncle. Come on.

What right do you have to be grumpy? Huh?

You are British and rich.

Ah, it's not our religion.

Yeah, but all gods are the same, aren't they?

That's what Ma used to say.

My sister's greatest failure was her inability to instil

a sense of reality and identity in her Indian son.

Hai Bhagvan, bless her soul.

She left us too early, just like our mother.

Well, Uncle, there's no better time in London