South Park

Captioning made possible by COMEDY CENTRAL

YEAH ! ALL RIGHT ! YEAH !

YEAH ! ALL RIGHT ! YEAH !

MAN, YOU GUYS ARE GOOD.

SHARON, WHAT ARE THE BOYS DOING ?

OH, STAN AND KYLE BOUGHT A NEW VIDEO GAME TOGETHER.

THEY CAN PLAY GUITAR NOW ?

NO, NO, THEY'RE JUST LITTLE PLASTIC CONTROLLERS.

YOU HIT THE COLORED BUTTONS

AND IT MAKES THE GUITAR TRACK ON THE GAME PLAY.

OH.

IF THEY SPENT HALF THE TIME LEARNING A REAL INSTRUMENT

AS THEY DO PLAYING THAT GAME

WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY COULD ACCOMPLISH ?

HEY, YEAH.

OH, YEAH ! YEAH ! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT !

DUDE, LISTEN TO THAT VIDEO CROWD !

THEY LOVE US !

SO YOU BOYS LIKE THIS MUSIC, HUH ?

YEAH, DUDE, IT'S GUITAR HERO.

STAN AND KYLE ARE REALLY GOOD AT IT.

WELL, YOU KIDS WANNA SEE SOMETHING REALLY COOL ?

CHECK THIS OUT.

DAD, DAD !

WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?

I CAN ACTUALLY PLAY A LOT OF THESE SONGS ON A REAL GUITAR.

YOU WANT ME TO TEACH YOU BOYS HOW ?

UH, THAT'S GAY, MR. MARSH.

YEAH, THAT'S STUPID, DAD.

BUT... BUT THIS IS REAL.

REAL GUITARS ARE FOR OLD PEOPLE.

DO YOU MIND, SIR ?

WE WANNA WATCH STAN AND KYLE PLAY.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S TRY TO SCORE 60,000 POINTS THIS TIME !

YEAH ! YEAH ! GO, GO ! YEAH !

Are you ready to rock ?

THEY'RE GONNA DO IT !

COME ON, GUYS, 100,000 POINTS !

CARTMAN, SHUT UP, WE'RE CONCENTRATING !

YEAH ! ALL RIGHT ! YEAH ! YEAH !

WE DID IT !

You have broken 100,000 points !

DUDE, WE ARE TOTAL ROCK STARS NOW !

YOU'RE NOT ROCK STARS !

IT'S JUST A STUPID PLASTIC CONTROLLER !

HANG ON.

STAN MARSH.

YEAH ?

I'M CHARLES KINCADE FROM THE KINCADE TALENT AGENCY.

I HEARD YOU JUST BROKE

100,000 POINTS ON GUITAR HERO.

YEAH, WE DID !

WELL, I'M IMPRESSED.

AND I'D LIKE TO BE YOUR MANAGER.

WOW, REALLY ?!

DUDE, DUDE, KYLE, THIS GUY WANTS TO BE OUR MANAGER !

NO WAY !

FOR REALS ?

SCORING 100,000 POINTS IS IMPRESSIVE,

BUT I THINK WITH THE RIGHT LABEL BEHIND YOU,

I THINK YOU BOYS COULD MAKE A MILLION POINTS.

THAT'D BE AWESOME !

SO WE'RE IN BUSINESS THEN ?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

I LIKE IT.

THAT'S THESE BOYS PLAYING ?

NO, THAT'S KANSAS.

BUT THESE BOYS SCORED 100,000 POINTS TO IT

ON "EXPERT LEVEL" IN CO-OP MODE.

THAT'S PRETTY GODDAMNED IMPRESSIVE.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL SIGN THEM TO A ONE-YEAR DEAL.

YES, YOU DID IT, BOYS !

LISTEN, BOYS, I'M HAVING A HUGE CELEBRITY PARTY

AT MY GIANT MANSION TONIGHT.

WHY DON'T YOU COME AS MY HONORARY NEW ARTISTS.

COOL ! COOL !

SNNIFIFFFFF !

WOW, THIS IS A HUGE PARTY !

OH, YES, ALL THE BIGGEST STARS IN COLORADO ARE HERE.

DUDE, DUDE, THAT'S RON ZAPPOLO FROM CHANNEL FOUR NEWS !

WOW !

AND LOOK OVER THERE THAT'S THAT JAKE JABS GUY

FROM AMERICAN FURNITURE WAREHOUSE COMMERCIALS !

EVERYONE, EVERYONE, THIS IS STAN AND KYLE.

THEY JUST BROKE 100,000 POINTS ON GUITAR HERO.

PLEASE ENJOY YOURSELVES.

THERE'S LOTS MORE COKE AND SEX IN THE HOUSE.

DUDE, DUDE, THAT'S JAY CUTLER OVER THERE.

QUARTERBACK FOR THE DENVER BRONCOS.

OH, MY GOD !

WOULD YOU BOYS LIKE TO MEET HIM ?

ARE YOU SERIOUS ?!

JAY, I WANT YOU TO MEET STAN AND KYLE.

THEY BROKE 100,000 POINTS ON GUITAR HERO.

WOW, REALLY ?!

NICE TO MEET YOU GUYS !

NICE TO MEET YOU !

I MEAN, YOU KIND OF SUCK, BUT MY DAD SAYS

YOU MIGHT BE GOOD SOME DAY !

THANKS.

ALEX, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIFE ANYWHERE ?

YOU BOYS KNOW TOM SHANE

FROM THE SHANE COMPANY DIAMOND STORE COMMERCIALS ?

DO WE ?!

HE'S A LEGEND !

YOU REMEMBER THESE BOYS, TOM.

THEY'RE GONNA BREAK A MILLION POINTS LIVE

AT THE VIDEO ARCADE IN A FEW WEEKS.

THAT WOULD BE IMPRESSIVE.

DUDE, WE'VE ARRIVED.

WE'RE SUPER-AWESOME AND COOL.

YEAH, LIFE IS FINALLY GOING TO NOT SUCK SO HARD FOR US.

ALL RIGHT, NICE REHEARSAL, BOYS.

DUDE, I TOTALLY MIFFED THAT MIDDLE PART !

DID YOU SEE THAT ?!

YEAH, DUDE, THAT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

THAT WAS REAL COOL, KIDS.

HEY, KYLE, THERE'S A DIFFERENT CONTROLLER

IN MY CAR THAT MIGHT WORK BETTER FOR YOU.

WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH JIM

AND HE'LL HELP YOU FIND IT.

OH, OKAY, COOL.

YOU'VE GOT REAL POTENTIAL, KID.

I HAVE NO DOUBT YOU CAN BREAK A MILLION.

REALLY ? THAT'D BE SWEET.

I THINK YOU COULD.

BUT AS FOR YOUR FRIEND-- WELL, TO BE HONEST,

I THINK HE'S HOLDING YOU BACK.

WHAT-- YOU MEAN KYLE ?

LOOK, YOU SCORE A LOT HIGHER THAN HIM.

THERE'S NO QUESTION WHO THE BETTER ONE IS.

I WANNA PUT YOU WITH SOME OTHER PLAYERS,

FIND A PARTNER FOR YOU

WHO CAN REALLY HELP YOU MAX YOUR SCORE.

BUT KYLE AND I ALWAYS PLAY TOGETHER.

WE BOTH CHIPPED IN FOR THE GAME SYSTEM.

THAT'S VERY HONORABLE.

BUT YOU KNOW WHERE LOYALTY GETS YOU

IN A GAME LIKE GUITAR HERO ?

NOWHERES.

JUST LISTEN TO THAT VIDEO CROWD.

I HAVEN'T HEARD A VIDEO CROWD

GO THAT WILD IN A LONG TIME.

YOU'VE GOT A CHANCE TO SCORE A MILLION POINTS,

AND I'D HATE TO SEE YOU THROW IT AWAY

BECAUSE YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR FRIEND'S FEELINGS.

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS KID, STAN.

HE'S ONE OF THE BEST

GUITAR HERO PLAYERS I'VE EVER SEEN.

EXCEPT FOR YOU, OF COURSE.

AH, THAD !

STAN MARSH, THIS IS THAD JARVIS.

'S UP ?

THAD HERE HAS BACKED UP A LOT OF

REALLY GREAT GUITAR HERO PLAYERS.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, THAD ?

YUP.

HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED A GAME SYSTEM TO PLAY ON.

HE CAN PLAY GUITAR HERO ACOUSTICALLY.

YEAH, BUT CAN HE PLAY BUCKETHEAD ON EXPERT LEVEL ?

GO AHEAD, THAD,

SHOW 'EM WHAT YOU CAN DO.

CHECK THIS OUT.

PRETTY DAMN GOOD, HUH ?

YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

BUT CAN YOU PLAY "JOHN THE FISHERMAN" ?

STAN, WITH THIS KID BACKING YOU,

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE GUITAR HERO HISTORY.

OH, I LOVE THIS SONG !

ALL RIGHT ! YEAH ! YEAH, COOL !

WOW-WEE, LOOK AT 'EM GO !

HEY, DUDE, HOW'S IT...

KYLE...

I... I THOUGHT YOU WERE SICK.