Wreck-It Ralph

My name's Ralph, and I'm a bad guy.

Let's see. I'm nine feet tall. I weigh 643 pounds.

Got a little bit of a temper on me.

My passion bubbles very near the surface,

I guess, not gonna lie.

Anyhoo, what else?

I'm a wrecker. I wreck things. Professionally.

I'm very good at what I do. Probably the best I know.

The thing is, fixing is the name of the game.

Literally, Fix-It Felix, Jr.

Fix it, Felix!

So, yeah, naturally,

the guy with the name Fix-It Felix is the good guy.

He's nice enough as good guys go.

Definitely fixes stuff really well.

But if you've got a magic hammer from your father,

how hard can it be?

If he was a regular contractor carpenter guy,

I guarantee you would not be able

to fix the damage that I do as quickly.

And when Felix does a good job, he gets a medal.

But are there medals for wrecking stuff really well?

To that I say, "Ha!"

And, no, there aren't.

Thirty years I've been doing this

and I've seen a lot of other games come and go.

Kind of sad. I think about all those guys from Asteroids.

Boom! Gone. Centipede?

Who knows where that guy is, you know?

Look, a steady arcade gig is nothing to sneeze at.

I'm very lucky.

It's just, I got to say,

it becomes kind of hard to love your job

when no one seems to like you for doing it.

All clear! The arcade is closed!

Shoryuken!

What a day! You want to head to Tappers, Ken?

If you're buying, buddy.

Quitting time!

I don't know.

Maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way

if things were different after work.

But it is what it is.

Good job, everyone!

Felix and the Nicelanders

go hang out in their homes

which he's just fixed, and everyone, you know...

They go to their homes, I go to mine

which happens to be a dump.

And when I say "a dump,"

I don't mean like a shabby place.

I mean an actual dump,

where the garbage goes

and a bunch of bricks and smashed building parts...

That's what I call home.

I guess I can't bellyache too much.

I got my bricks, I got my stump.

It looks uncomfortable. It's actually fine. I'm good.

But if I'm really honest with myself...

I see Felix up there getting patted on the back,

people are giving him pie and thanking him

and so happy to see him all the time.

Sometimes I think...

Man, it sure must be nice being the good guy.

Nice share, Ralph.

As fellow bad guys,

we've all felt what you're feeling

and we've come to terms with it.

- Really? - Right here.

I am Zangief. I am bad guy.

- Hi, Zangief! - Hi, Zangief.

I relate to you, Ralph. When I hit bottom,

I was crushing man's skull

like sparrow egg between my thighs.

And I think, "Why do you have to be so bad, Zangief?"

"Why can't you be more like good guy?"

Then I have moment of clarity.

If Zangief is good guy,

who'll crush man's skull

like sparrow's egg between thighs?

And I say, "Zangief, you are bad guy",

"but this does not mean you are 'bad' guy."

Right. I'm sorry. You lost me there.

- Zombie! Bad guy! - Hi, Zombie.

Hi, Zombie.

Zangief saying labels not make you happy.

Good! Bad!

You must love you.

- Yeah! Inside here! - Yes.

Okay. All right, I get you. Watch out. It's dripping.

Question, Ralph.

We've been asking you to Bad-Anon for years now

and tonight you finally show up.

- Why is that? - I don't know.

I just felt like coming.

I suppose it has something to do with the fact that...

Well, today is the 30th anniversary of my game.

Well, happy anniversary, Ralph.

Thanks, Satan.

It's Sateen, actually.

Got it. But here's the thing.

I don't want to be the bad guy anymore.

You can't mess with the program, Ralph.

You're not going Turbo, are you?

Turbo? No, I'm not going Turbo! Come on, guys!

Is it Turbo to want a friend? Or a medal?

Or a piece of pie every once in a while?

Is it Turbo to want more out of life?

Yes!

Ralph, Ralph, we get it.

But we can't change who we are.

And the sooner you accept that,

the better off your game and your life will be.

Hey. One game at a time, Ralph.

Let's close out with the Bad Guy Affirmation.

I'm bad, and that's good.

I will never be good, and that's not bad.

There's no one I'd rather be than me.

Okay, gang, see you next week.

Listen, I can't do snacks next week.

Hang in there, Ralph.

Hey, Zombie, don't forget your hatchets.

There you go.

Step aside, sir. Random security check.

Random my behind! You always stop me.

I'm just a surge protector doing my job, sir.

- Name? - Lara Croft.

- Name? - Wreck-It Ralph!

And where are you coming from?

Pac-Man.

Did you bring any fruit with you?

No! No. No fruit.

Okay, then. Where are you heading?

Fix-It Felix Jr.

- Anything to declare? - I hate you.

I get that a lot. Proceed.

Bad guy coming!

If you leave your game,

stay safe, stay alert,

and whatever you do, don't die.

Because if you die outside your own game

you don't regenerate.

Ever. Game over.

Here you go, buddy.

It's fresh. Straight from Pac-Man's.

Hang in there, guys.

Name?

Celebrate good times Come on!

"Happy 30th Anniversary"?

They're having a party without me.

Pac-Man? They invited Pac-Man?

That cherry-chasing dot-muncher

isn't even part of this game!

Great party, Felix.

Why, thank you, friend.

Felix. You're needed on the dance floor!

- Fix-It Felix! - Fix-It Felix!

I'll bet that's Mario.

Fashionably late, per the norm.

I'll get it, Felix.

It's Ralph!

- He'll wreck the party! - Hide the stemware!

Get rid of him, Felix.

Oh, right. I'll go talk to him.

Carry on, everyone.

Ralph, can I help you?

Hey, Felix. Just wanted to check on you.

I saw a big explosion

or something go over the building there.

Oh, those were just fireworks.

Fireworks. Okay. Phewf.

Somebody's birthday, or...

Well, it's more of an anniversary.

The 30th anniversary of our game, actually.

What? Is that today?

I know!

I'm such a dummy with dates.

Anyway, congratulations.

Thank you, Ralph. And to you, too.

Hi. Just a heads-up, Felix.

They're bringing out the cake in a few shakes.

- Hey, Glen. - Ralph.

Cake? Heard about this cake stuff.

Never had it.

No one ever seems to throw it out

so it never ends up in the dump.

I never actually tasted it.

I've always wanted to try cake.

I don't suppose you'd like to

come in and have a slice, would you?

Hey-o, everybody!

I'm okay. I'm okay. Fit as a fiddle.

- Now, you all know Ralph. - Evening.

Evening, Nell, Lucy, Don, Dana...

- Deanna. - Big Gene!

Why is he here?

He's just here for a slice of cake.

And I'm a big part of the game,

technically speaking.

Why are you here, Gene?