Episode #1.1

Welcome to day two of the W.H. Rawlings Tire Invitational

on the Korn Ferry Tour.

The cut is for the top 65 players and ties.

Aim higher. Go further.

Achieve greatness.

Oh, the place where I worship…

For more information about our talent community,

contact Linda Batatata

or Cinda Trinsti at…

the clubhouse desk.

-Punch it! You gotta punch it! -I'm about to punch you, Lonnie!

God damn it, Old Henry. Seriously, move your ass.

We… are… going to… miss… my

tee time because of you.

I will not have this!

It's emotional abuse, and I'm not gonna stand for it.

Keep going! What are you doing? Run the red light! Go! Go!

Whoa!

-Yeah! -Oh shit!

So, we're good.

Keep going! Keep going!

Next up for the 9:47 start,

McNally, Han, Hawkins.

This is it, Old Henry. I've let you hang around for long enough.

You are done.

-What? -You're fired!

Fired? You're gonna fire me?

Who's gonna carry your bag?

Wait! Left lane. Left! Left lane.

Ahh!

Ahh!

God!

You are a terrible driver.

And next on the tee, winner of the Korean Tour Order of Merit,

Bobby Han.

Hold on!

Oh shit!

Tear it up, Old Henry!

Whoo!

And please welcome three-time major winner

and former world number one

from Yuba City, California,

Lonnie Hawkins.

Lonnie Hawkins?

Hey! Hey!

Hey, man!

Slow down!

Whoa!

I'm Lonnie Hawkins! I'm a professional golfer.

Look at my face.

Look at my face!

Get out the way!

Lonnie Hawkins.

Classic Lonnie.

-I thought he retired. -Holy shit!

No one drives a bus like Old Henry.

Lonnie Hawkins?

Lonnie Hawkins?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

We're here. We're here.

My caddie can't tell time, so it's not my fault.

-What? -Yeah. Hey, Dave, hey Bobby.

-What the fuck is wrong with you? -Guy's a joke.

All right. Let's get this show on the road.

You guys already hit?

There you go.

What do we got here? A little Callaway One?

Want to go for a little ride? Huh?

What's that?

You have to speak up louder than that.

Oh, you want to go far?

You want to go into outer space?

You're gonna go flying through that air, screaming your head off with pure ecstasy…

…as you explode into the cosmos.

Do the damn thing.

Okay, let's do it. Let's go for a ride.

That's how it's done!

Ha ha ha!

That's how it's done!

That's how it's done.

-They call him the Hawk -Hawk

He's a golfer

The greatest golfer in the world!

I mean, you gotta try to imagine this steak, okay?

Picture it, smothered in onions and mushrooms, right?

Thick gravy. And then the side?

Oh, the most perfect baked potato.

I mean, just swimming in sour cream and chives.

-You making me hungry. -Here's the crazy thing.

It was just a random Outback somewhere outside of Dallas, you know?

I sure could use some of them Bloomin' Onions they got.

Well, that's Chili's. That's not Outback.

-Oh, you old jackass. It's Outback. -What?

No. Bloomin' Onion? No, no.

I'd bet my life, that's… that's Chili's.

You don't know shit about shit. It's Outback.

Okay, well, I do know this. Tonight, we're going to Carrabba's.

I'm hungry for Italiano.

Fuck Carrabba's. I'd rather eat cat shit with a knitting needle.

-I'm not going to Carrabba's. -Okay, well…

-Yeah, that's you. -Well…

Quiet, please! Shh!

Shut your mouths! Please!

Ha!

Ready, set,

lights, camera…

Nice shot, Lonnie.

Yeah, you know it was a nice shot, Bobby.

-You see that? -You damn right I did!

The kind of shot you'd make back in the Sisqó era.

-"Thong Song." -Yes, sir.

Let me see your booty go Thong th-thong-thong-thong

I love that song!

She had dumps Like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby, move your butt, butt, butt

I think I'll sing it again…

So, what's the cut at?

One, maybe two over.

All night long

Let me see that thong

-Baby -Girl, I know you wanna show

That thong, th-thong-thong-thong

Who wants some Lonnie juice here, huh?

Little fire in the hole?

It's "water"!

'Cause she was livin' la vida loca

Had dumps Like a truck, truck, truck

Thighs like what, what, what

Baby, move your butt, butt, butt

I think I'll sing it again

She had dumps like a truck

Truck, truck

Thighs like what

What, what

All night long

Let me see that thong

Da-na, da-na

Baby

That thong, th-thong-thong-thong

I like it when the beat goes

Baby, make your booty go

That thong, th-thong-thong-thong, yeah

Chunked it. Hit it fat.

Too much "Thong Song."

Bunkers. I fucking hate bunkers.

Lonnie.

Do you remember Doral 2009?

-No. -You made up five strokes in seven holes.

Yes.

Now that's a birdie up there.

-I fucking love you, bud. -You got it.

-I guess it's not my day today. -Hey, you can't think that way, kid.

A lot of golf to be played.

All it takes is one shot to change your day.

Pay attention to Professor Emeritus Lonnie Hawkins.

Multiple degrees

in golf,

etiquette, and psychology.

Oh my God!

-Call the clubhouse. -Oh God.

He's fine.

He's fine. He's just resting.

-We had a long travel day. I'm… -He's not breathing!

He… He'll be okay. Let's, uh…

Let's putt out.

Would you like to ride in the ambulance with him?

How would that work?

Escort the deceased to the morgue with the EMTs and sign some papers.

No, no, no. I know… I'm just saying, my ball's up there.

What? I mark it, and we come back later?

No! Lonnie!

-What? -You have to withdraw. Game over.

Withdraw? Carlos, no!

I'm two feet from the pin.

Are you serious?

That's the shot of the day. I'm Lonnie Hawkins!

-Lonnie, your caddie just died. -I'm…

I loved him so… I loved him so much, you know.

And, uh, he's gone.

And he's not coming back, and I can accept that.

But you gotta understand, Carlos.

He'd want me to keep playing.

You can't play without a caddie.

Those are the tournament rules.

Well, then…

Hey!

-You, Suns jersey, wanna carry my bag? -Lonnie, stop.

Hundred bucks for five holes, 200 for the weekend.

Lonnie, withdraw. Old Henry is dead.

Dead.

Shit.

God damn it, Old Henry.

I was about to go on a run.

I was gonna race up the leaderboard

and we were gonna play ourselves back on to the Tour, but no.

You gotta drop dead.

I guess I just gotta go it alone.

What are you doing?

Huh?