CHEST

I tell you what man, my phone goes off all night

she knows I'm working. But..

Married for a long time, brother. You married?

Going on three years now.

Cool. Cool.

Yeah...

Cool. Kids?

We got a bun in the oven.

Dude that's awesome, man.

Congratulations on that. Thank you.

Boy? Girl? Uh, we don't know yet.

But I'm just looking forward to getting home.

I'll tell you that.

Is it always this slow? - Yeah

I mean you learn to appreciate the slow times.

You know? I mean...

When it's slow you know you're gonna go home.

Well, if I'd known it was gonna be this slow I'd have stayed home

I know brother, the night's young, man.

Central to 409

go ahead central...

Need a unit on route to 1321 county road 347.

For a 10-39.

10-4 central.

409 en route.

What in the fuck is that?

Oh, buddy. We got a live one.

Shit...

Sir!

Sir, we're gonna need you to put the bag down...

Sir, do you need an ambulance?

Sir, do you need an ambulance? Alan! Get back!

Alan! Sir, we need you to put down the bag.

Get back!

Got a 10-82! 10-82!

Officer down! Officer down!

Need assistance!

Deep in these mountains lies the almost forgotten art of storytelling.

Every civilization has their stories...

Those that shape our future

and those that embellish the past.

But there are few tales so curious and fascinating

as the tall tales of the American south

come with us today as we explore these legends

and shed some light

on dark appalachia

So, what do you think?

- I mean, I look good and I sound good...

Are you really sold on that intro? Well, I... I mean...

What was with that music?

- What I think it's awesome. Are you serious?

- I don't know, man. I think the whole thing

seems cheesy as fuck if you want my honest opinion.

Shit...

You want a beer?

Yeah. And no. I don't have any beer. - Yeah!

I don't have beer I'm sorry. - Wait a second...

Hey put that camera down I want to work on this intro before Izzie gets here.

Oh, Jesus. Wait. The enigmatic Isabella is coming over?

She is.

- Really? Oh, did you invite the rest of the crew?

No, Steph and yancy are techies they don't care about this part.

- Of course not. - They don't care about the planning!

- Holy fucking shit would you look at this. - (Mark talking in other room)

What the fuck is he doing in here?

Hey when you're texting Izzie can you ask her to bring

over some beer and maybe a fuck ton of groceries?

How the fuck do you live like that?

Mark! - What?

Fine, if you won't I will.

Lowks below...

La la la la laaah

I love this fucking camera so much.

It's great.

Oh, shit.

Come in!

Aww, I fucking love you!

Thanks for your help. - Haha

shit, sorry about that.

Marks on the phone with the fucking guy.

He's a looney toons, I swear.

Yep, yeah, we were um...

Actually we were planning on coming out there maybe in the next couple of months?

Is that something that could work for you?

I'm not sure, man. I'm not really sure how much I can help you.

We're still in the planning stages, basically.

We would just like to get you, hear your story

on camera

what do you think?

How about an interview?

Jeff? Hello, are you there?

Look I ain't trying to, uh...

Man listen... [Cell phone makes low battery noise]

Ya'll come down any time next month.

And I'll tell you what I know

just give me a heads up

look, I can't promise it's what you're gonna be looking for.

Shit with my daddy ain't stuff I like to dredge up.

Why? What happened to your dad?

Look, man. Just come on down. We'll talk. Give me a holler.

Okay. Yeah, no, that sounds great.

We will umm... I'll let you know when we come down there, okay?

Yeah, alright man. Look I gotta let you go.

Okay - Get away from there!

Thanks...

Dude, your interview skills blow!

What the fuck was that all about?

You don't cold call someone and start asking

questions about their dead dad!

First of all

that was not the interview, that was me technically getting the interview

and, hello, Izzie.

I'm sorry...

I did not want you to get all that stuff. I told him not to uh

David told me you wanted to celebrate!

I also said you were boney and needed sustenance to live.

Well "celebrate" might be a little early

I mean, this guy claims that he is the son of the person who found the box, but...

He really could be fucking with me. I have no idea.

I think we should explore it.

And we need as much info as we can get

because I tried to do some research on that town and this family earlier today

and I came up with nothing.

Well, I mean the fact that there is nothing in this day

and age, kind of probably means there's something, right?

Well sometimes it is nothing, Mark.

I direct you back to "ghost cabin" last summer?

Oh, god, Mark. Not another ghost cabin!

Goddamit guys, it is not another ghost cabin!

Moving on from ghost cabin let's look at our

schedule and budget: The fun stuff, if you will.

Mark, we don't need to worry about any of this right now.

Let's call yance and Stephanie. Tell them the

good news. And let's go out and celebrate!

Besides...

I wasn't going to say anything, but umm...

You look like you haven't gotten out in a while

alright, fuck it. Let's go. Let's get out.

Yeaaaah

So no one opened it? Why didn't they go back?

I don't know. I guess that's what we're going to find out.

Far as I know it's still back there somewhere.

And you think we can find it?

That's not really the purpose, but it will be fun to try.

I mean, I want the episode to be about: Origin of the story

and if it's complete bullshit we'll figure out how to make it interesting.

Hold on we need one more round of shots!

Here, take this.

So Mark, what's going on with you and David?

Are you guys cool? You good?

We're totally fine, we talked it out.

Well, you better be because I'm not about

to go into the woods and babysit a couple of children.

It's fine! I promise. We have an understanding now, okay?

I think it sounds cool.

You have, my ears...

Fuck it.

You have my eyes...

You have, my brain...

Oh, and it's a very beautiful brain, at that, Isabella.

But we're not gonna do any of that silly mantra shit

we're gonna toast to the start of this project for real this time.

David, what is it you contribute again, the asshole?

Very funny.

But I'm the voice and you better damn well respect it, Kay?

So let's toast for real this time, c'mon.

Cheers!

Hey, hey! Do you mind taking our picture?

Yeah, sure! Okay.

Hey, assholes we're gonna take our picture.

Team pic? - Yeah, team pic, c'mon.

I'm blocking you.

I'll hold you right here. - Be careful

Alright. Okay, one, two, three...

Jesus, what the fuck is taking her so long?

Dude, chill. She said she would be right out.

Well, look at this place...

Jesus...

Izzie's boyfriend must be rolling in bank

Izzie's boyfriend must be rolling in bank -

What does he do for a living again?

I don't know, he's a pharmacist or some shit.

Well I guess you could win her over with your stunning personality, or something.

Dude stop it, you know she's not like that.

I don't know, man look at this place! It's...

I mean, this giant mcmansion cabin thing...

I mean if I had a choice between you, or living in this..

David, stop it!

Stop. Please shut the hell up.

Fuck it... -

Stop it! Stop dude! Look, she's coming - oh, shit!

It's polite to punctual, Isabella!

Sorry! God... -

Did you really blow the horn at me, Mark?

No! No, that was David! I swear.

Yes, Isabella, it was David and on this team we value punctuality.

You are on this team, right?

Whatever, I was like five minutes late.

Just answer the question, Isabella -

Can we get going?