Say Less

Listen to me, okay?

You need to hear this.

I love you.

I love you, and you matter.

You are the smartest, funniest, most creative person I know.

Not to mention gorgeous.

You're a fucking queen,

and you're gonna crush today.

So go get that shit.

- -

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Um...

If we do come back Monday morning,

lock the house before you go to school,

but we should be back Sunday night.

Unless we party too hard.

Woo, marriage.

Marie, leave the wine.

It smooths out your driving.

We'll be back Sunday night.

Hey, don't just hold it.

Put it on, try it on, come on.

Let's see how it fits.

This is gonna be amazing.

Marie, look at this.

Clay, could you hurry up?

We're gonna be late for the rehearsal dinner.

Uh-- This is amazing. I'm just getting a

photograph to show all our friends, okay?

College man, start of a new chapter.

There's plenty of food in the fridge.

Do your homework and no friends.

-Clay. -Uh-uh, I'm hurrying

as fast as I can, darling.

No, no, no, no, no,

no need to lend a helping hand.

-What? -What?

Hey, kids... make sure to feed Ruthie,

and walk her twice a day so she can poop, okay?

Be safe.

And Ruthie... take care of the kids, okay?

No guests.

And don't do anything stupid.

Honor thy mother and father.

Actually, honor thy father first.

Bye!

Bye!

Dibs. I said it first. Fuck you.

-I'm having someone over. -I'm having someone over.

-No, you're not. -Hey, when I go to college,

you can do whatever you want for a whole

-year in this house. -That is not true.

-You know that they never leave like this. -Yes, they do.

Yeah, you're about to be at college where you can do whatever you want.

-I'm having a friend over. -You don't have any friends.

You can't have anyone over.

- Okay. - I'm serious.

Oh, you're serious, are you?

Is it your weird girlfriend?

Yeah, it's my weird, hot, amazing girlfriend.

Gross.

Fuck, fine. Just stay in your room and be quiet.

Don't tell me what to do, Cassie.

It's unbecoming.

If you don't, I'll tell mom and dad

-you fucked on the couch. -Then I'll just show

them where you hide your weed.

Stay in your fucking room, Max.

And you're walking Ruthie. It's your turn.

-Rock, paper, scissors. - No.

- Yes. Yes. - No.

-No. -You just always get what you want, don't you?

Yeah, Cassie. I'm stoked.

I need this.

- -

Max.

-Max. -

Okay.

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

- -

Okay. Alright.

Wow, Cassie, this is the perfect temperature.

I'm sorry I didn't come over, Cassie.

Really should have been there.

Would've been sick.

- -

Max?

-Max! -What?

-Is that her? - Don't worry about it.

I am fucking worried about it.

Well...

...don't.

- -Hey, baby.

Hey.

-Oh, hi, Ruthie. - Hey.

-Oh, hey. How are you? - Hi.

It's so good to see you, and I love that top.

Unfortunately, we're not allowed to have people over while our

-parents are in Palm Springs. - Okay.

I'm afraid you're gonna have to go.

That reminds me. Where's your

imaginary friend?

I'm confused.

She wants to use the house and doesn't want

us to use the house, but she

doesn't have any friends.

Ah, of course that's not true.

-You're so cute. -No, that's not true.

Your morally-vacant boyfriend is lying to you.

He's met my friends.

Who? Emma?

'Cause I haven't seen her in like a year.

-Where is she? -She's not coming.

For your information, my friend is a boy.

Oh, wait, a boy?

You're having a boy over?

That's right. Yeah, that's right.

-I am. -Okay, who? Spill.

Hey, she's lying.

No one's coming.

-Yes, he is. - Really?

Yeah, really, you douche.

Roar, okay, feisty.

-I like her. -Whatever.

When no one shows up, I'll be right.

Okay. Well, I'm rooting for you.

You got this.

- -

You are such a sweetie.

You are such a cutie.

I'm Max,

the tough, hard, manly wrestler.

Baby, um, do you think we could role-play with your leotard?

It is a singlet.

-I told you it is a singlet. - Stop-- stop--

Stop it. Stop.

Stop.

I'm done. I'm done. You can release me.

Let me go. I'm not going to tickle you.

-Okay, I'm trusting you. Okay. - Yeah, let me go.

Just gonna...

Okay, now I'm done. I promise.

Okay, can you be serious for a second, though,

because I have to tell you something.

Okay, I will be very serious.

I'm serious.

I'm so ready to be so serious

with you, Harry.

- Okay. -That's more Voldemort again.

I was going to tell you, but you have to guess.

What do you have to tell me?

-W-- well, you have to guess. -

Okay. Um, what?

D-- do you not know what guess means?

Okay, what? What do you want to tell me?

-Guess! Guess! -What do you wanna--

Okay, I am guessing.

Okay, let me go. Jesus, you're strong.

What do you want to tell me?

-What? -I heard back from the financial aid office.

In Michigan?

And?

I got it.

They're gonna cover half my tuition.

That makes me so happy.

Come here.

Ooh...

Okay, okay, okay, okay, I get it, I get it.

Oh, you got to tap out. You can't get out.

No, I can't.

You're trying to escape.

-No, you got to tap out. -I can't.

Alright, alright, alright.

-You are released. -

You are released. And I'm so proud of you.

No, no, no.

No, no--

Maybe. No.

Okay.