Robot Chicken

_

Man: It's alive!

8x06 - Zero Vegetables

Yay, Skip-it is fun!

You're skipping it too fast!

Aah, I can't slow it down!

Aah, aah! Please help me!

- Aah! - Ew, I'm sorry!

Miss Steele, Mr. Pennybags is ready to be interviewed.

To what do you owe your success?

Easy. I have all the orange money.

Whee!

I've got what I need.

Baltic. Oriental, water works...

are my sexual preferences.

Care to take a chance,

or would you rather go... directly to jail?

- What are these things? - I have very singular tastes.

They're butt plugs... for your park place.

No! I'm always the racecar!

Oh, I'm gonna make it rain all over your community chest!

If things get too hot, can I use my "get out of jail free" card?

Roll the dice and find out.

- I can't. My hands are tied up. - Eh, too bad.

I could used some help getting this racecar out of my ass.

I love dancing!

Whee!

From now on, dancing is illegal!

Hey, everybody! Let's dance!

I was wrong. Dancing is legal again!

- Aah! - Aah!

- Aah! - Let's da...

Mistakes were made. Dancing is illegal yet again.

Oh, Mrs. Butterworth, may I have some more syrup, please?

Sure, Billy. Pop my top!

Oh, yeah, Billy.

You like when Mrs. Butterworth get sticky

all over your flapjacks?

I want to see my gooey sweetness

caked all over your mouth, Billy.

Mm-hmm. That's it.

Oh. Ohhh!

- Uh, t-thanks, Mrs. Butterworth? - No, Billy.

Thank you.

Let's be firm this time.

The fate of the "Transformers" franchise depends on it.

Mr. Bay, p-please put on some pants.

I hear you have some issues with the script for "T5".

Uh, yes. Well, the uh, the pe-pe-pe...

uh, the story seems rather nonsensical.

I approved these changes myself. See, this scene here,

Prime reveals he's from the Planet Magnetron.

But Optimus Prime is from Cybertron.

No, I explain all that here. He arrived on Cybertron as a boy.

- Autobots aren't ever children. - And met the Autobots in high school.

There are no high schools on ...

And he invented transforming in metal shop.

- That's absurd! - And he holds the patent,

so the Decepticons owe him a lot of money.

That, Mr. Bay, that's enough! We at Hasbro ...

Mr. Bay, please. My sinuses. Ooh!

Mr. Bay, I must protest!

- Mr. Bay, p-please. Please... - Martini, gentlemen?

- We are not in a festive mood. - More for me.

We at ... we have no further notes. Thank you!

You know, Mortimer, people always ask me

"Where do you get the balls to make movie that awesome?!"

And I always respond "not balls.

To make movies this awesome,

you need a prehensile penis."

Aah!

Shark BJ!

Yeah, what is it, Fritz?

Yeah. So, first of all, heil Hitler.

Second of all, I left half a sandwich in the fridge

that was clearly labeled with my name on it,

- and now it's gone. - Eh, that happens.

Ya, ya, it does happen,

but this is like the third time in two weeks, so...

Are you accusing the Fuhrer of stealing your sandwich?

No, no, no, no. I am not accusing anybody,

Commander Himmler, but I know

only the three of us use that fridge,

and... I did not steal my own half-sandwich.

- Then clearly Himmler took it. - Mein Fuhrer!

Respectfully, I did not take the sandwich.

Then, by process of elimination, you're saying I took the sandwich.

Well, it was you or me, and I know it wasn't me.

- So... - Fritz, be honest.

Which of us is more likely to have stolen your sandwich?

Well, let me ... Hmm.

Keep in mind that only one of us murdered 6 million Jews.

- Yes. Exactly. - What do you mean, "yes, exactly"?

I murdered 6 million Jews. Clearly I'm a good person!

I wouldn't steal a sandwich!

I need to tread really carefully here.

Should I have not murdered 6 million Jews?

- You absolutely should have. - Murdering Jews is good.

So anyone who murders Jews is good, right, guys?

Again, I really, really want to think about my choice of words.

Fritz! What do you think? Am I a good person?

I mean, I mean, good and evil ...

- it's all relative. - Pussy.

Well, historically speaking, murder... is bad.

- Not always! - No, no, no.

Just in a general broad-stroke kind of way.

What about murdering turkeys to eat them?

Is that bad? Did you think about that

while you were making your turkey sandwich, Fritz?

Does making a turkey sandwich make you a bad person?

I never said it was a... turkey sandwich.

I-I ... I admit it.

I stole your sandwich, Fritz.

Therefore, I am a bad person.

Therefore, a bad person killed 6 million Jews.

Therefore, maybe killing 6 million Jews was wrong!

What have I done?!

Mein Fuhrer, only a bad person would kill 6 million Jews,

but only a good person would feel bad about it.

Danke, Fritz.