2 Guns

[TRAIN HORN BLOWING AND SIGNAL BELL DINGING]

Hi. Hi.

How many?

Two.

Listen, I wanted to get a safe-deposit box. Can you do that for me?

[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Okay. Your box will be available anytime from an hour after opening

to 30 minutes before close. This is your key.

Thank you.

Also, if you open a checking account,

we'll give you 5 percent off the box along with free overdraft protection.

Here I was hoping for a free toaster.

Why would a bank give out free toasters?

Hello, Ma. I'm ordering you the French toast.

No, thank you.

Our patient waitress Maggie... It says Maggie on her name tag.

...has asked me to order four times. If I don't order at this point, it's rude.

I can come back. It's okay.

You know what? I'm making an executive decision. Pancakes.

I don't like pancakes. No pancakes. What are you, a communist?

Pancakes and a fried egg. I'm thinking hash, but only if it's like chunky style.

Listen, if you order me eggs and pancakes, I'm gonna kick your behind.

But you gotta eat breakfast.

It's the most important meal of the day.

Ma'am, ignore everything he said, okay?

Don't bring me any eggs and pancakes.

Just bring me some coffee and bring him a couple eggs.

I don't want eggs. I want hash. Put a couple eggs on it.

Give him some rye toast. No rye toast for me.

A pancake. No pancakes.

Maybe a little silver-dollar one. You got the little baby ones?

No pancakes, no silver dollars, no rye toast. I like pumpernickel.

I have pumpernickel. Pumpernickel toast.

Maggie, wait. One more thing. Yeah.

You take that with you till we see each other again in case you miss me.

Why you gotta do that? What?

Wink at the waitresses like that?

Waitresses like me. Nobody likes you.

So?

So. What do you got?

So it is a sleepy bank.

Doable? That's correct.

I told you.

[BELL JINGLES AND DOOR OPENS]

That is a lot of doughnuts.

I'll be back with your hash.

Maggie, your hot homemade doughnuts, they any good?

Best in three counties. Tell you what.

Bring us three of those. Put them in a to-go box for us.

All right. Thank you.

All right, time to make the move.

There's gonna be some sirens in this bitch.

I'm gonna go shake the weasel.

Shake the weasel. Gonna go shake the weasel.

Good morning, sir. How are you? Morning.

Hey, Maggie.

I'm very sorry about my friend.

He was kicked in the head as a child.

He's really not that bad. No, he is.

What's going on?

Okay, I'm just gonna have you all exit the building.

It might be a false alarm, but just do it safely.

Thank you. Thank you.

Is everybody out? I'm gonna need you to step outside.

I'm gonna grab my friend. Okay.

We gotta pay our bill.

We should go.

Is that all you're gonna tip? You leave 15 percent.

No, you gotta leave at least 30. No, you don't. Fifteen is standard.

Maggie's about to be out of a job. Don't be cheap.

Okay, there's 5. That's 7.

There you go. Come on. All right. All right.

What? No, you didn't.

Yes, I did. Oh, my God.

How'd you say it? Never rob a bank

across from a diner with the best doughnuts?

That's correct.

[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

Bobby. Papi's down in the stables.

Why don't you get something to eat? Not hungry.

Sure you are. I wanna come with you.

We're here to do business. Diplomatically.

Well, I can be diplomatic. You can be hungry too, right?

Bobby.

Wait here. Okay.

Somebody sitting here? Little Toro.

Oh, well, you move your feet, you lose your seat, right?

Lose your head too. That's correct.

So where is Little Toro?

Allí, where you put him.

Let's play some dominoes.

Papi's ready. Yeah.

Papi Greco!

"I-know-a-guy" Bobby.

That's correct.

Quick: an ostrich, a tank of ether, a '63 Impala convertible.

Make it a '64.

My side of the border.

I know a guy.

What did I tell you? He never says no, never says "maybe,"

never says "I'll see what I can do."

Nice bull.

I hope he's a good breeder. Mm-hm.

That's a shame about Little Toro.

Julio caught him skimming.

Oh.

That don't sound like Little Toro.

Is that for me? That's correct.

Everybody skims a little cream. It's human nature.

Just because it's human don't mean you let it go.

Mm.

Nice lines. Good colour. That's right.

That's right. He knows a guy.

What you got for me?

Cash.

Cash?

Supposed to be giving me 100,000 to deal.

Why didn't you give me a $100,000 worth of cocaine?

Where's the cocaine?

My buyer wants cocaine.

So let him buy cocaine.

That's what he's trying to do. He's trying to buy cocaine.

I told him I knew a guy, therefore I come to you.

You the guy I know. That's why I told him.

So take back the passports.

After Little Toro, we're not taking on any new customers.

Well, no disrespect, but I ain't no new customer.

You been dealing with me for a long time.

You keep the passports.

Keep the money too.

When you're ready to give me the product,

you give me the product. Till then...

you owe me.

[LATIN MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

[CHICKENS CLUCKING AND MEN CHATTERING]

It's not very sporting, man.

At least give the chickens a chance to shoot back.

Hey, I'm just saying. If I'm gonna kill a defenceless animal,

I'm gonna honour its sacrifice by grilling it into some tasty barbecue.

I'm not gonna torture it

to prove I can't hit anything further away than my pecker.

Your cuate's a real junkyard dog. Mm.

Where'd you two find each other?

I threw him a bone one night, he followed me home.

Hey, cowboy. You, the pretty one.

You ever hear the expression, "You got a face only a mother can love"?

That don't apply to you. You're uglier than the devil's asshole.

Stig!

What are you doing?

They're torturing chickens, man.

What are you eating?

A chicken. It's not the same thing. Come here.

See that bag over there by the table? Buffet table next to the potato salad.

Yeah, the bowling bag. What about it? Little Toro's head is in that bag.

Bullshit. Yeah.

You know what? That's fucked up, man.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go. Okay? Come on, let's go.

Say it in English, you goat fuck.

Suck my chicken.

Ha-ha. That's funny, coming from you, fat boy.

You ain't seen your pecker since you were a baby.

Just because you put your finger in your belly button

and brown shit comes out, don't mean it's your asshole.

What did you say? Don't worry about it, man.

Now dig them up and make some damn barbecue.

[GROANS THEN SPEAKS IN SPANISH]

Bye, chica.

Did you just wink at him? I did wink at him,

because he's my bitch now. Uh-oh.

That's good shooting.

You know, Little Toro never did nothing to nobody, man.

We should rip off Papi's stash at the Tres Cruces Savings & Loan.

Papi's guy delivers a briefcase full of money

to Tres Cruces every two weeks.

That's gotta add up to 3 million.

If Papi knew we were even talking about ripping off Tres Cruces,

it would be our heads in that bag next to the potato salad.

No way. Our two heads would never fit in a bag that small.

Come on, let's hit the bank.

Little Toro was your friend. He was my friend.

So? What do you mean, "so"?

What if it was me? What if it was my head Papi ran through the saw mill?

You wouldn't come after him? Nope.

You wouldn't kill him? Nope.

He did that to you, I'd kill him. Know why?

You're my people and there's a code. There is no code, first of all.

You do whatever you gotta do, whatever it takes.

And second?

Right, we're not people because you don't have people.

That's correct.

Purpose for your visit to Mexico?

Quail hunting.