The Godson

- -

- Forget about it. -

Sunny? Your fly...

Sunny, somebody's coming.

- -

Ohhh!

Sunny, tie your shoe!

I'm not paying for the room.

Sunny Calzone, you die!

- -

Taxi, taxi!

- -

Sunny, Sunny, Sunny, tie your shoe...

Ohhh!

And that's how my life got turned around forever.

My beloved older brother Sunny, Sunny Calzone,

the heir to the Calzone famiglia,

was brutally murdered by our enemies.

We was all there for the sad event of his passing.

There was Bugsy...

Mama, Pop, also known as the Oddfather

because he's my father and he's odd.

Sunny's girl...

And me, son number three, Guiseppe Calzone.

But you can call me Guppy, everyone does.

Shut up, Guiseppe.

Guiseppe, put a lid on it.

Guiseppe, shut up.

Well usually everyone does.

Ah, this certainly is a grave occasion.

If you'll pardon the pun.

So then, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,

Sunny got whacked, and it's so unjust.

And thus it is, that we say arrividerci to Sunny Calzone.

And it was Sunny who warmed so many...

so many hearts...

Please join me in song as we remember.

I wish the Sunny was shining today...

If Sunny were here everything would be okay.

Sing along with me!

I wish the Sunny were shining today.

If Sunny were here everything would be okay.

If Sunny were here everything would be okay.

And now he's gone and Sunny's dead and gone.

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

And we're all here to cry and moan.

And we're all here to cry and moan.

Take it easy. Take it easy, will you. C'mon. Take it easy.

Hey!

Take it easy.

It's a very sad day Don Calzone.

The Rodfather gives you his deepest sympathies.

Well, ya know...

Our number one son,

whacked with a shoelace.

Ah, the men who did this...

I curse them to hell and beyond for eternity.

She's very upset.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I want you to meet my number three son.

He's a good boy. A good boy.

You can call him Guppy.

Everyone does. Usually.

Nice to meet ya, Guppy.

Mmmm, hand broken. Mmmm...

Where's son number two?

We don't talk about son number two.

This was my neighborhood.

And this was the Calzone compound, my home.

It didn't look like much from the outside, but actually...

It was pretty nice.

But I had other things to worry about.

Shocking as Sunny's death was, I still didn't realize

just what it was going to mean for me.

A huge challenge was about to be put upon my shoulders.

A challenge that would test me in ways...

- I never even thought of. -

I've been in love with you, Elaine,

ever since the first time I saw you playing bass for your reggae band,

thumpin' out that Rasta beat.

And of all the fellas in the audience that night...

- You picked me! -

Elaine, it might be the champagne talking, I don't know, but...

I think I'm going to...

I'm going to kiss you, Elaine.

Don't you ever knock, Bugsy. Hm?

Don't call me that!

Your father wants to see you in the office.

Have you met, Elaine?

Don't judge me!

Baby... Guppy's gotta go have a meeting.

- You stay here. -

Pop, Bugsy came in my room without knocking again.

Silence!

We have more important things to discuss.

This isn't about the other night again, is it?

I just wanted to see what pantyhose would look like on me.

- I don't care about that... -

I'm talking about the future of this family.

Quiet down. Look at this.

Giving, giving, giving... all the time.

Penelope, I'm very proud of you.

Alright, take a hike... I got something to say to my son.

- - Aw geez.

I'll tell you the truth, if it wasn't for the eggs...

It's a crazy world we live in, it's violent.

I keep trying to get out, but they keep trying to pull me in.

- - Oh, oh... Pop,

Oh... are you all right?

- What was I saying? -

- Yeah, okay. -

Well now that Sunny is gone, I want you to take over,

I want you to be the head... I want you to be...

the Godson...

Where the hell is that music coming from?

Me? But, Pop...

Once the Calzone's were the biggest syndicate in the whole world...

the whole wide world, you understand?

But now with two sons dead then we have grown weak.

We spent all our money on sex toys.

I've done some calculations, and I have to tell you

that in six months, where we're going,

we'll be bankrupt or we're gonna be livin' in the streets.

Your mission is to change the tide...

to save the Calzone family, don't you understand?

We must focus our future.

Our future.

I don't know, Dad, this is out of my league.

This is way too much.

I can't accept.

If you don't I'm gonna take this and put it some place

wherever time you dance this is gonna hurt.

When do I start?

- Now. - Now?

You, lookin' at me?

You lookin' at me?

I was in a state of shock.

My whole life had just been turned upside down.

What was I going to do, I asked myself.

What am I gonna do?

I'm just not cut out to be a mobster, you see?

I'm just not cut out to be a mobster, you see?

Is there an echo in here?

- -

I'll never be a gangster. I'm a sissy. I'm gonna be a sissy.

Ya can't make a sissy into a gangster.

I'll never be as good as Sunny, never!

- - Oh.