Beavis and Butt-head (Beavis and Butt-Head)

Whoa, cool.

Hey, pizza face.

What?

Oh, yeah, I guess I have a little acne--

Ow! Damn it.

Pizza face.

Pizza face.

Dumbass.

We're under the car's rear end.

Yeah, the car's butt.

Heh heh, hello.

To answer your question,

Yes, this car does have new undercoating, yes.

So what do you think, guys?

Can you see yourself driving this car?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, I could see that, yeah.

That would be cool. I bet we could score.

Yes, yes, definitely my friend.

I must congratulate you both.

You picked a very good day to buy a car.

Yeah, we're smart. Yeah.

Today and today only

I can offer you 0% down.

Whoa, really?

We have zero.

Yeah, we're gonna get a car, yeah.

We're gonna score, yeah.

This is gonna be cool.

Yes, yes, very cool. Yes, yes.

Come inside, we talk about it, okay?

No--oh, my god.

Oh, my god.

It looks like a bathing suit.

Mom, no.

Whoa, this chick's mom

Might be a bigger slut than your mom, beavis.

Yeah, maybe so, yeah.

Uh, I think she might be a better slut too.

She has better fake boobs,

And that's not saying much.

Come on, butt-head, that's enough.

God gave me this body. It's like--

God gave her that body?

Yeah, god's like, "don't drag me into this."

I'm getting ready to pick some things out.

Me and theresa are gonna go take some pictures.

For where? For the playboy party.

Mom, your underwear is showing.

I don't know why you keep doing that.

Come on, arch your back, more slutty.

More embarrassing for your daughter.

Yeah, yeah, come on, more embarrassing for your daughter.

More embarrassing, more embarrassing.

There you go. There you go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's got my glitter.

My glitter! I don't have anything.

My glitter. My little thing of glitter.

No, I don't have anything. Nikki, you've had it before.

Mom, I don't have--

You better hand over that glitter.

I had sex with a clown to get that glitter.

Yeah, yeah, and the hat too, yeah.

Uh, that hat makes her look really old.

Yeah, and really stupid too.

Yeah, well, she's got to keep the light off her face.

Yeah, yeah.

Uh, is this the playboy party she was talking about?

Yeah, I thought, um-- I thought the playboy mansion

Was, like, a little nicer and had a pool and stuff.

Yeah, I thought there'd be more chicks, though.

This is, like, just a bunch of kids and one old slut.

Mom! What?

I'll flip you off right now.

Don't you dare. Not while I'm here.

Not while I'm here, uh-uk. I'll break it.

Now you just stay in your room

While zour mom goes downstairs

And does it with all your friends.

This has gone way too far.

This is the one girl that really deserves to be emo.

Okay, hamid, looks like you got

A couple of gearheads.

These guys love being know-it-alls,

So I want you to sad sack them.

Sad sack? Oh, yes, yes, sad sack

Where I say, "mikey, he's a good salesman,

"but not me, I cannot sell car.

"you know, I am so not good salesman.

You'll probably rip me off."

Okay, tone it down a tad.

Remember, you're a loser,

You just can't seem to sell a car.

You want these guys to think they have the advane

So they let down their guard.

Hamid, it's showtime.

Go get 'em.

It is beautiful machine, yes?

It has many rpms, you know?

Dah, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I'm saying.

Ugh, you see that guy mikey?

He is a very truly good salesman.

But not me.

No, I have trouble selling car to no one.

I cannot sell car.

Hey, butt-head, maybe we should buy a car

From that mikey guy. Yeah, really.

How'd we get stuck with this dumbass.

He can't even sell a car. Yeah.

Whoa, hold on, fellas.

I wanna make sure you get the best deal possible.

Let me have a word with hamid here.

Okay, these guys are gonna be tough.

We're not gonna fool them.

Just start negotiating. Be tough.

Be a closer.

So you can see, the price is $3,000,

But, you know, let's talk, you know?

Tell me, what will it take to get you into this car today?

Uh, you said something about zero.

Yeah, that'll work, yeah.

Zero-point-zero.

yes, very good.

I don't think my manager will go for that,

But maybe I could give you, you know,

Maybe $500 off this price. Is good.

Uh, you're gonna give us $500 to take the car?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. We'll take it.

No, no, that's not what I meant.

No, I cannot do that, no.

Uh, hmm.

I don't know, butt-head,

Are we still okay at zero?

Uh, I don't know.

A free car doesn't sound so great

After he was gonna give us $500 to take it.

Wait, but, no, I did not ever say--

I don't know, butt-head, I mean, you know,

Zero dollars for a car, you know what I mean,

That's not bad.

Damn it, beavis, gas is expensive.

Uh, I'll take, like, $250 from you

To take this car,

But that's, like, my final offer.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, okay.

Let's all settle down here, okay?

This is getting a little, you know--

I'll tell you what, you need to see what this car can do.

You need to go for test drive. How 'bout that?

We go test drive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Let's drive this thing, yeah.

Yeah.

This is gonna be cool. Yeah.

Yeah, you will see, this car,

It handles very nice, you know.

It was driven by one little old lady one time.

You know, that's all.

Yeah, it smells like old lady.

Hey, you think anybody did it back here?

Seems like it would be a good spot, you know what I'm saying?

Yes, yes. It is very nice, yes, yes.

So you are saying that you could see yourself

Driving this car then?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I could see myself driving it with a chick.

And her boobs too.

Very good, very good.

Let's see what this baby can do.

No, no, no, no.

The car's already started, my friend.

Please, please.

Yeah, butthole.

You're gonna break it.

Okay then, if everybody's ready

Then we will begin test drive.

Okay?

Ready.

No, do not start the car.

Cool, do it again. Do it again.

No, do not do it again. No, this car is started.

Do not start it any more.

Come on, let's go. Yeah, yeah.

Punch it! Yeah.

Uh, okay.

No, no!

You did not put car in reverse.

That was cool.