Arrested Development

It was May...

It was May 4,

and in the bay side town of Newport Beach,

the annual celebration

known as Cinco de Cuatro was underway.

The holiday started as a particularly vicious response

by a young Lucille Bluth to the Mexican holiday...

- This still isn't made? - Of Cinco de Mayo.

- No, no, it's not. - Rosa, why is this still a mess?!

She said it's, uh, it's Cinco de Mayo.

She's taking, uh, the day off.

- She said that? - Yeah.

- She called it Cinco de Mayo? - She did, yeah.

Oh, why can't they just call it May 5?

This is what I was talking about.

It's all part of the Mexican war on May 5.

- War on May 5, I know, yeah. It is. - It is.

But even a skeptical George Sr.

Soon found himself feeling similarly embattled.

Where the are my socks?!

Now it's not so funny, is it?

No, not funny.

We should start our own holiday.

You see, the Hispanics of Newport liked Cinco a lot,

but high up on Coast Highway, Lucille Bluth did not.

Doesn't look like they'll be done any time soon.

And then Lucille had a horrible thought,

a thought that was thoughtless and better to not.

"What if," she thought with a sneering grin...

Next year what if the party didn't even begin?

And so began a holiday on the eve

Originally intended to deplete the party supplies

the Cinco de Mayo celebrants were relying upon.

Fill the bay with chorizo.

- Chorizo dump! - Over 30 years, however, it grew

and was soon embraced by the Hispanic community...

You buy it, you break it!

For financial reasons...

and as the celebrations peaked

with a boat parade called the Festival of Lights...

another phrase they wanted back...

one man was about to hit his lowest point.

Happy Cuatro, happy Cuatro!

Let's throw some more taco shells.

Olé!

Sally, can I...?

I need to speak to Lucille 2, please.

It's okay, Sally, I'll talk to Michael.

This is Lucille 2,

a longtime patron of the Bluth family.

I'll be downstairs kicking myself

for not marrying you so many years ago.

Michael, do you have something for me?

Does bad news count?

There's that Bluth wit.

Oh, I love your family.

She certainly had demonstrated that

with many of the men in the family...

Oh, stop it, you're making me dizzy.

Even having fallen for a few,

although some of that was the vertigo she suffered from.

But not all of it.

- Dad? - No, no.

But seriously, she had gotten intimate with Buster and Gob.

I need that money I lent you.

I am in the middle of a campaign

and I am desperate for the ad money.

You're going to get it.

I just need an extension.

Why don't you go to your family?

I don't need them.

What I need is you.

What are you suggesting?

No.

Okay, that was nasty.

Aren't you sweet?

- Thank you. - Okay.

Don't tilt your head, okay?

And that's when Michael debased himself.

What are you doing?

I'm gonna have sex with you for money.

Later that night,

after Michael did something unthinkable,

he was looking for a place to hide

and he returned to a long neglected model home

he believed to be empty.

Thanks for coming

so late, Maria, I know that you won't be cleaning up

tomorrow, and we did make quite a mess of that bedroom.

Michael.

This is Michael's brother Gob.

Neither had expected to see each other

after some recent unpleasantness.

I didn't expect to be seeing you again

after all the unpleasantness.

I-I've, I've, I've been out of control.

Sorry.

In fact, I-I just did something that I-I don't,

I don't, I don't know why I did it.

Do you want to talk about it?

No, I do not, I've said too much already.

You cannot help me.

Well, I wasn't hoping to help.

I was hoping to rub it in

because of all the unpleasantness.

- Got it. - Oh, damn it, I meant to throw these in the chipper.

God, I'm just not into Cuatro this year.

I was the one that was wrong, not you,

and besides, you could not make me feel worse right now.

Well, I'd be willing

to let you have your apology back

if you give me the chance to try.

I mean, I'm gonna need some specifics

about the thing that you're ashamed of.

Otherwise I'll just be taking general potshots.

Bad example: If you were ashamed of being in love with a man,

suddenly discovered these new feelings,

then I might say something like, "Homo much?"

- It's not that. - I said "Bad example."

I went to go see Lucille 2

and I just, I just... I lost control.

I did something that I wish I could forget.

You have got no idea how I feel.

Well, if you're talking about doing something embarrassing

with a woman, then no, I don't.

But he should have.

It's almost as if he found a way

to simulate amnesia.

Hey, I'm down to my last Forget-Me-Now.

In fact, that is what he had done.

Hey, remember me?

Gob had always taken a pill

he called a Forget-Me-Now for that...

- No más. - ¿No más?

But was commonly known as a roofie.

There's only one left.

How could that possibly be?

Unless... John Beard Jr.

I don't need to get into it.

I came here because I thought the house was empty,

but I can go somewhere else, okay?

- Hey, listen, Michael, if you want, we can split this. - No,

I feel like this is something that I shouldn't forget,

okay, and believe me, this is the last time

I ever judge you for anything

that you ever do.

Oh.

Is that who you were with?

I knew it, I always knew it.

- Take this, Michael, forget, forget. - No, no, no, no, no.

Put the mask back on. Forget this, Michael.

- Forget, forget, Michael. - Gob.

Forget, now is the time to forget.

Now you're forgetting.

- Now you're forgetting. - God.

Stupid, forgetful Michael.

Now, the story of a family

whose future was abruptly canceled and the one son

who had no choice but to keep himself together.

It's Michael's...

Six months before the Forget-Me-Now,

Michael had made good on a long-standing threat

to go to Phoenix,

and even though the Phoenix he went to was online,

he still enjoyed the full college experience

by living in a dorm room while doing so.

George Michael, what is my log-on password again?

Unfortunately it was his son's dorm room

at the University of California at Irvine.

Dad, come on, what have we said is the most important thing?

I have tried "family."

- It does not work for me. - No, privacy.

This is Michael's son

George Michael... a nice kid.

Uh, no one should have your password but you.

I shouldn't even know it.

- You've made that point. - Have I?

My point is, we have no secrets from each other.

We know everything there is to know about each other.

We're like twins.

I don't see us as twins.

Yeah? You name me one way in which we're different.

I think you tend to be better

at feeling like you belong places.

Do I?

I want you to start feeling like you belong places.

Look at that guy.

He thinks he's a musician.

You know, like, you've got to start having

a little bit better sense of humor about yourself.

Look at me.

People say I don't age.

You know, like, "Hey, look at that guy.

He's got the hair of a teenager."

And I say, "Take your best shot"

because I think that that's a good thing

because I'm self-effacing.

Hmm?

I want you to be able to do that.

Well, it's hard to be self-effacing