Continental Divide

Hey, Souchak!

Hell of a column today!

- Today you've gone too far. - What do you mean?

Stuff that good could get an innocent person killed.

Ah, I'm not that innocent. Don't let the dimple fool you.

Me! An innocent person like me!

Hey, Hey!

Can I get you a chair?

Mr. Souchak, would you be offended if, uh,

I asked you to buy your papers at O'Leary's for a while?

I'll pay for 'em.

Hi ya, Souchak. Great piece, baby.

It's about time you said that about me, Agatha.

See ya.

This is the agenda for the Buildings Committee meeting on Friday.

Yablonowitz has his fingers in items two and four.

Please. What for?

Ah, it's crazy, Mr. Hellinger.

Every day I get hot stories, the paper gets circulation,

Chicago gets wiser, you keep getting older.

It's not only crazy, it's un-American.

Satisfaction. I get that.

Yeah, well, you're a good man, Mr. Hellinger.

Just don't run for president.

Hey! Okay. Spider-Man.

- Come up here with me, Dad. - Down.

You'd never get me up on one of those. I get vertigo just standing on my toes.

Really? I've been that way since I was his age.

Hey.

Why don't you get on my shoulders? Then you can get up there.

- Really? - Nah.

I haven't got the height.

Home, James.

Uh, tomorrow, 11:30.

I'll be there.

Sixteen refers to clause 9B of the trucking deregulations bill?

That is correct, Alderman.

9B and C, in view of which, gentlemen, the contract renewal,

which is under this subcommittee's consideration is, at this time,

for the leasing of specialized equipment,

therefore not subject to competitive bidding.

Uh, I accordingly should like to recommend approval of contract 44-KG

City of Chicago ordinance P-17,

to Metro Machine Tools, Incorporated.

Now, as to the matter of the queries raised by the Sherman Committee,

item number one had to do with their tax-exemption claim.

And item two, the political principle...

that a City Hall connection exists...

with Metro’s attorneys-at-law.

So... after due consideration,

we feel satisfied that all three queries are inapplicable.

I, therefore, would like to accordingly call for a vote on renewal of the Metro contract.

All in favor?

Unanimous. My granddaughter gave me a pocket calculator for Christmas.

I still don't get a chance to use it.

Yeah? Right.

Metro.

Sun-Times! Souchak does it again! Sun-Times!

Shit. He's done it again.

The son of a bitch has done it again!

Every goddamn day, five editions a day!

- Me, my wife, and now the Metro deal! - Metro deal?

Shit. Don't you see it?

Look. Right here.

Yeah, there it is! Right here.

"Today's dirt. Dirt of the day." Jesus!

Okay, enough. Listen, fellas.

I'd appreciate it if you’d find out who's dishing it to 'im, okay?

You got it.

- Say, you got a match, mister? - Sure.

- Hell, have the whole book. - Move, man!

Hey, man. I've seen this one before.

- You're what's-his-name. - That's right.

- No shit. He is. - You're okay, man.

Yeah, man. You wrote some good shit about our neighborhood.

- Drexel Park. - Right.

- I'm sorry about this, but give me your wallet. - Right.

- You guys the Rasta Devils? - Right again.

Now give me that watch.

What happened to Gilmore? Heard he got bounced from the Heathens.

He was dipping in the treasury. Norton had to cut him.

- He just cut him. - Oh.

That means everything north of 55th Street is up for grabs.

What about the block association?

- This is interesting. What's your name? - I'm Franklyn.

- That's with a "Y." Franklyn Curt. - Man, you crazy?

Hey, man! What you tryin' to pull, man?

Oh, shit, the man! Let’s get out!

Man, I didn't even open it. Why don't you stall 'em 5 minutes?

How am I gonna know when it's 5 minutes? My watch!

- That's all right. They didn't take anything - Aren't you Ernie Souchak?

- That's right. - I thought I recognized you.

- Great piece today. - That's what Alderman Yablonowitz said to tell you.

Great piece.

- You lost your badge. - Right.

Huh?

Giving me one lousy cigarette doesn't give you the right to kick me out of town.

Are you crazy? Nobody's trying to kick you anywhere.

- All I'm suggesting-- - Mmm.

All I'm suggesting is that you go and do a story in New Orleans for a couple of weeks.

They got this hot consortium of developers there. They're all ex-Chicago.

You pick up Yablonowitz the minute you come back.

Howard? You need a lobotomy.

Down the corridor, third door on the left. They got diplomas in it.

I just want us to lay back for a while, till things cool.

Especially till after we run your story on his mother.

I don't want you in here permanently.

I like it here. The nurses give me bed baths.

How 'bout if I order you to New Orleans?

- How 'bout you go screw yourself? - How 'bout dinner Sunday night?

How about the Nell Porter story?

It's better than the New Orleans one.

You're on shift work, you two.

He bugs me weekdays, you Sundays.

- Souchak, just because it's out of Chicago… - Nothing personal, Sylvia.

You know I love you, respect you and long to tear your clothes off.

- Ahem. - Dump this mick and let me take you away from all this.

Where to, if you won't leave Chicago?

Another part of Chicago.

Oh, come on. Grow up, Sylvia.

What the hell do I know about the intercontinental crack?

- Continental Divide. - That too.

Fresh air makes me nauseous. I bet they got hills up where she comes from.

Sort of. We call them the Rockies.

- The Rocky Mountains? - Mm-hmm.

So you've heard of them.

Good night. Thank you for two-thirds of dinner.

Souchak, it's a scoop. She's never been interviewed.

Four years she's been up there, completely alone.

- Apart from her eagles. - Yeah, she's a highly respected scientist.

- She's an eagle freak. - She is a holy woman.

Ohh! Well, why didn't you say that?

That makes all the difference. A holy woman.

Is there any more cauliflower?

It'd be something new to write about.

- I like writing the old thing over and over. - A new angle.

Really? Some big eagle up there wheeler-dealing little eagles?

Fixing eagle elections? A crooked eagle in Nebraska?

Souchak the Rockies run through eight different states.

Nebraska isn't one of them. Try Wyoming.

Souchak for my sake as managing editor,

if you wanna finish off Yablonowitz, you gotta stay healthy.

Go to Wyoming.

Howard, you talked me into it.

The answer's no.

Sylvia.

Don't make eyes.

Making eyes at a Souchak never worked.

I'm a Souchak, so it just won't work.

- Howard? - Uh-huh?

- How do people get up the Rockies? - How?

They have jeeps, things like that?

Jeeps, helicopters. They got everything.

- So you think we did the right thing? - Oh, for God's sake.

- You think he'll be okay? - Sylvia, he's a grown man. What can happen to him?

That’s what I keep asking myself.

Listen, I know Souchak. He'll be having the time of his life.

Look, you go on. Leave me here to die.

I always wanted to die in the mountains.

- You get the view and everything. - Mountains?

These here is bumps in the ground.

- What are you doing? - Checking for rattlesnakes.

- What for? - Pardon?

Plenty other things up there to worry about.

Well, good. I'll worry about them then.

- What is it? - Possum.

Am I pleased or frightened?

Take a look.

What the hell is that?

I just told you--Possum.

Jesus Christ!

- You got lots of possums around here? - Just that one.

Been spotted a few times.

Is he friendly?

You one of them reporter fellas?

I don't know what you're talking about.

She likes reporter fellas least of all.

She don't like no one much.

She almost killed one.

One what? Reporter fella?

Fella messin' around with her eagles.

What do you mean, "almost killed"?

Well, you know, when you stop breathin' and walkin' and seein' things?

- That kind of "almost killed him." - Uh-huh.

Okay.

Oh, shit!

Geez!

Phew.

Getting more fun every day.

The air's thinner up here.

Better lay off those today.

Every day for 13 years,

some smart-ass has been trying to tell me to qui--

Dear Lord, I know this might sound a touch hypocritical...

after the way I've been... roughly since birth,

but if you could swing things just this once...

so I can get out of here...

uneaten,

I promise, I'll never again...

ask for anything…