All of You

Please stand back behind the yellow line.

- Hey. - Hi.

- How are you? - Good. How are you?

Good.

All right. Come on. I've only got an hour for lunch.

This is gonna be fun. Isn't it?

I doubt that very much.

"Yes, Laura. It's going to be lots of fun."

All right, come on. Let's get this over with.

Go, go, go.

That was exciting.

This station has step-free access.

You know this is gonna ruin our friendship.

- No, it won't. - It will. It'll be the end of everything.

Why?

Everyone we know who's taken the Test, soon as they meet their soul mate,

they vanish.

That's not true.

Happens to everyone soon as they take the Test.

We've lost too many good people to this bloody Test.

They haven't gone to war, Simon.

No, it's been much worse. They're in love.

What if he's, like, a hundred years old?

Then I will love him for the rest of his life.

All right. Name one friend from uni who took the Test who we still see.

- Jonah. - Jonah and Vicky the Vortex?

No. Since he got with her, he doesn't even reply to texts.

She might have murdered him, and we don't even know.

Or maybe he's happy.

Yeah, maybe he's happy somewhere in a basement, tied up, screaming into a sock.

Okay. This is it.

Tell me that I'm making a good decision.

No. Awful.

Great. Thanks.

I'm Laura Sharp. Here for the Test.

Welcome, Miss Sharp.

Would you like to make your final payment?

Welcome to soul connex.

Finding your perfect match in the blink of an eye.

Christ.

Whoever it is, he's paying me back.

That's the first thing I'll say to him.

Yeah, it'll be a nice icebreaker.

Speaking of, I asked Andrea if she'd go on a date with you and she said yes.

The giant?

She's not a giant.

She's, like, 7 foot tall. That's technically a giant.

Fine. I'm not gonna set you up with her and you're gonna die alone.

Good.

Here at soul connex, we make happiness a science.

You could still do it, you know. It's not too late.

I don't wanna do it.

I would rather just find it.

Isn't that the whole point? The discovery.

- You're taking all the fun parts out. - No, I'm not.

Yes, you are. Otherwise, why do you wrap presents?

Why not just go, "Here you go. It's a fucking toaster.

Merry Christmas. I'm off."

Because that would be horrible.

Well, that's what you're doing.

Seriously.

"Relationship status."

Fucking tragic?

You can talk.

And you'll just head straight upstairs to the second floor.

Thank you for doing this.

Of course.

Wanted to make the most of our last day together.

Stop it.

We're still gonna see each other all the time.

Promise.

And you're absolutely sure this isn't all because of Dan?

No.

I mean, maybe a little bit.

It was horrific.

Yeah.

Dad hated him.

He threatened to disown me if we got married.

Smart man.

Miss Sharp, we're ready for you now.

Right. Well, it's been a wonderful friendship.

Very nice knowing you.

Stop it.

Go on. Go get your toaster.

So, we'll just take your blood pressure

and then get the second phase done.

Hey.

I'll miss you every single day.

Uh-oh.

Yay!

Are you celebrating?

My thing? No. Your thing? Yes.

- Aw, no. Simon, I'm sorry. - No, it's fine. I didn't really want it.

It was so much more work. You know I hate work.

- Then that's great news. Congratulations. - It's such great news.

But seriously, congrats on the launch. That's huge. I'm dead impressed.

- I think Andrea might be coming. - The giant?

- She's a little bit taller than you. - So, a giant.

- You're a prick. This is the guy. - I'm the guy.

Is Lukas here?

No. It's not really his thing.

A shame.

Yeah, he's a bit of a square. But he's my square and I love him.

Sweet.

Everyone's getting fucked up tonight, by the way.

Oh, no.

Yeah, we're celebrating.

This is them! Guys, this is my friend Simon.

Hey. How you doing?

- Hey. What's your name? - Joshua.

Joshua. Good to meet you. Yeah.

I've known Laura since uni, since she was, like, 20.

- So this is big. I'm very proud. - Yeah.

- Yeah, we're all really proud. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- You've done nothing wrong. - I have. I screwed her over.

I don't think you've really screwed her over.

- You've done nothing wrong. - Shit.

Everything okay?

Yeah, it's so sweet.

Like, I'll say something totally insincere to Lukas,

and then he thinks I'm being serious and then it turns out I actually am.

Like, "It hurts my stomach to be away from you."

That hurt my stomach.

- Is that really bad? - It's horrible.

Is that how you know you're soul mates?

Yeah, I think it's the start of it.

Nice.

Very promising.

- Hi! - Hi!

- You made it. - I know.

I know, so crazy.

This is Simon. Simon, this is Andrea.

Hi, Andrea. Good to meet you.

- Hi, Simon. You all right? - Yeah.

Andrea's practicing nursing, so very impressive that she turned up.

Oh, great. That's amazing.

Simon's in journalism, so maybe there's a crossover there somewhere.

I don't know.

But you guys should get a drink then I'll meet you back here in a sec.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Do you want a drink?

No, I'm good. I'm good.

- Do you want a drink? - Do you want a drink?

- Yes, please. - All right. Let's get you a drink.

- Got a present for you. - Uh-oh.

Oh, really?

Hey. You okay?

Hey. Yeah. How are you?

I'm good. What's happening?

I'm just texting Luke.

- Yes. Yeah, yeah. - Everything all right?

I'm just saying good night and sending him kisses and gross stuff, you know.

Don't tell him that I'm smoking.

Why not? What will he do?

Lock me in a basement.

I like that.

Dad absolutely loves him.

- Really? - Yeah.

Thinks he's, like, the greatest guy that's ever lived. He's obsessed.

Is that bad?

No, but I'm not used to it.

You know, he's gonna move here from Glasgow, so we're moving in together.

Really?

Wow.

That's huge.

Congrats.

- Big boy shit. - Big boy shit.

It all happened so quickly.

Do you know that the first time I met him, I didn't even fancy him?

I thought that maybe they'd made a mistake.

And then your shoulders dropped and your whole body relaxed.

And you told me, "And I felt like I was amongst family."

And I thought, well, I don't think you should bang him then.

It's a really nice story. I'm sorry.

Where's Andrea?

I think she's dancing with your mates.

She keeps banging her head on the ceiling.

She's really cool, right? Like, it seemed like you really liked her and stuff.

She is cool actually. Fair play.

You should get with her, and then we can all go on double dates.

Double dates? That gave me the chills.

Come on. We should get back.

I forgot my...

Get your water.

- Put out your fucking cigarette. - No, I'm still smoking.

It's disgusting.

She's there.

- Hey! - Hey! There you are.

Yay!

Giant kiss in the middle. Go!

- Where's my kiss? - Okay.

What's the deal with you two?

What do you mean?

You're very, very, very close.

We went to uni together. We're like BFFs.

BFFs who never...

dated?

Where do you live?

Vauxhall, you?

- Clapham. - No shit.