Dangerous Animals

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看起來已經死透了 Looks pretty dead‎

我們該走了嗎？ Should we just go?‎

沒預約是吧？ Didn't book, eh?‎

想著碰碰運氣 Thought we'd just try our luck‎

不建議這麼做 Wouldn't recommend it‎

特別是你 Especially not you‎

好吧 為什麼這麼說？ Okay, yeah, why's that?‎

上批他帶出去的遊客裡 有個小夥子—— Last group he took out there was a young fella--‎

長得像你 大學生 Looked like you College kid‎

當時正在船邊撒尿 He was taking a piss off the side of the boat‎

一條公牛鯊躍出水面 and a bull shark jumped up‎

把他的命根子咬掉了 Bit his dick off‎

天啊 God‎

我看你凶多吉少了 Well, I don't like your chances‎

塔克今天剛開始休假 Tuck only started his holidays today‎

他從不為任何人中斷假期 and he doesn't interrupt his hols for no one‎

說曹操曹操到 Speak of the devil here he is‎

米洛 閉嘴 Milo, shut up‎

老兄 用不著那個 Mate, you won't need that‎

我們給你準備了活餌料 We got some live chum for you here‎

啊 這位是誰呀？ Ah! Who do we have here, then?‎

格雷格 Greg‎

塔克 美國人？ Tucker. American?‎

-加拿大人 -啊 逃過一劫 - Canadian - Ah, lucky escape‎

這位笑臉盈盈的是？ And this friendly face belongs to?‎

-海瑟 -啊 - Heather - Ah‎

讓她自己回答 格雷格 Let her answer for herself Greg‎

-我是海瑟 -海瑟 真可愛 - I'm Heather - Heather, lovely‎

讓我猜猜——小波姆？ Let me guess-- Pom?‎

哦 現在不該這麼叫了是吧？真見鬼 Oh, not bloody s'posed to say that anymore, are we?‎

不 沒關係 呃 英語 是的 No, it's fine Um, English, yes‎

夥計 我告訴他們你去度假了 塔克 Mate, I told them you were on hols, Tuck‎

啊 那你們這對小情侶住哪兒呢？ Ah, so where are you two lovebirds staying, then?‎

哦 我們不是一起的 呃.. Oh, we're not together. Um..‎

只是——只是住在青年旅社 Just-- Just staying at the hostel‎

-好的 -抱歉我們沒預訂 - Okay - Sorry we didn't book‎

我們本來要和一群人一起去海洋世界的 We were supposed to go to SeaWorld with a bunch of others‎

但睡過頭了 but we slept in‎

昨晚玩得很嗨 It was a big night‎

是啊 我敢打賭 Yeah, I bet‎

抱歉 Sorry‎

呃 那個.. So, ah..‎

看來沒人知道你們在這兒 I guess no one even knows you guys are here, then‎

為什麼？ Why?‎

我只是想確認一下 Well, I just want to make sure‎

你們的遺囑都立好了 your last will and testament's in order‎

畢竟我們要和鯊魚共泳 We will be swimming with sharks after all‎

-哦 -真棒 - Oh - Sweet‎

當時我七歲 So, I'm seven years old‎

趴在趴板上漂著 I'm out there on my boogie board‎

在淺水區撲騰水花 splashing around in the shallows, you know‎

瘦胳膊細腿兒瞎撲騰 Scrawny little arms and legs kind of flapping away‎

我就在那兒游著 然後不知怎麼的 and swimming out there and, I don't know‎

我猜從水下看 我肯定像只海豹 I guess from underneath I must have looked like a seal‎

砰的一聲巨響 Fuckin' boom‎

這該死的白色傢伙咬住了我 This bloody white gets me‎

-然後它就放你走了？-是啊 - And it just let you go? - Yeah‎

你現在看到的可是個活生生的行走奇跡 You are looking at a genuine walking, talking miracle‎

當時疼嗎？ Did it hurt?‎

呃 反正不像是撓癢癢 Well, it didn't tickle‎

對 絕對不是撓癢癢 Yeah, it didn't tickle‎

不過倒是讓我徹底清醒了 懂吧？ Woke me up, though, you know?‎

從那以後我就一直清醒著 I've been wide awake ever since‎

這完全是偶然發生的嗎？ And this was just random?‎

我是說 顯然現場有警示牌 I mean, apparently there was a sign‎

寫著發現鯊魚出沒之類的 但是.. about a shark sighting or something, but..‎

哎呀 oopsie‎

當時不是有人在看著你嗎？ Wasn't there someone watching you?‎

好吧.. Well..‎

這麼說吧 我以前經常獨處 Let's just say I used to spend a lot of time on my own‎

真不敢相信你居然以此為生 I just can't believe you do this for a living‎

換作是我經歷那種事後 這輩子都不會再靠近水域 I'd never go near water again after that‎

這不是鯊魚的錯 It's not the shark's fault‎

-你還好嗎？ -嗯 - You okay? - Yep‎

-會沒事的 -挺好的 真的 - It'll be alright - It's fine, yeah‎

這將是一次超棒的體驗 It's gonna be a great experience‎

對 Yeah‎

好了 各位 Alright, crew‎

前戲夠多了 來 呃 讓你們倆濕身吧 Enough foreplay Let's, uh, get you two wet‎

-好吧... -別擔心 我護著你 - Okay.. - Don't worry, I got you‎

天啊 真不敢相信我被你說服來做這個 Oh, my God, I can't believe I let you talk me into this‎

哦 噢 Oh! Oh‎

是灰鯖鯊啊 海里的獵豹 Oh, it's a mako Cheetahs of the sea‎

我做不到 I can't do it‎

我-我做不到-- I-I can't--‎

嗯 現在還不行 Well, not yet, you can't‎

因為我們還有件事要處理 'Cause there's still one thing we need to take care of‎

現在聽好 這是種非常特別的 Now, listen This is a very special‎

古老放鬆法 呃 是別人傳授給我的 ancient relaxation practice that, uh, was taught to me‎

然後我在海上花了多年才掌握 and then it took many years at sea to master‎

只要你配合我 我保證會有效 If you'll just go with me here I promise you it'll help‎

現在閉上眼睛 Now close your eyes‎

深吸一大口氣 Take a big, deep inhale‎

然後呼出 And out‎

進 And in‎

出 And out‎

只有跟著唱才有效 It only works if you sing along‎

-我做不到 鯊魚寶寶 - I can't - Baby shark‎

嗯哼 嗯 Mm-hmm. Mm‎

天啊 太精彩了 Oh, my God, that was amazing‎

比海洋世界強多了 對吧？ Shits all over Sea World, eh?‎

說得太對了 You can say that again‎

是啊 以後可以跟孫輩們講講這段經歷 Yeah, something to tell the grand-kiddies one day‎

老兄 簡直太棒了 Dude. So awesome‎

對 Yeah‎

老兄 太感謝你幫我們安排時間了—— Oh, man, thanks so much for fitting us in--‎

歡迎登船 Welcome aboard‎

『 危 險 動 物 』

應該在那兒啊 你找過我說的位置了嗎？ Should be there Did you look where I said?‎

找了 找不到跨接線 Yeah, I looked I can't find the jumper cables‎

哦 那可能是用完了 抱歉 Oh. Must be out, then. Sorry‎

謝謝 Thanks‎

你那兒有嗎？ Don't s'pose you have any?‎

沒有 Nah‎

怎麼了？ What's up?‎

嘿 最近怎麼樣？ Hey, how's it going?‎

外面天氣真不錯 是吧？ Cracker day out there, eh?‎

嘿 Hey‎

又是我 Me again‎

老兄 我說了我幫不了你 Yeah, dude I said I can't help you‎

啊 你真的沒有搭電線嗎？ Ah, you really don't have jumper cables?‎

就為這個？-我能說什麼呢？ For this? - What can I say?‎

我過著刀尖舔血的生活 I live life on the edge‎

我覺得收銀員可能想看看監控錄像 I think the cashier might want to see that security footage‎

你是認真的嗎？ Are you serious?‎

你當真要這麼做？ Is this really what you're doing?‎

你這是在敲詐我 You're blackmailing me‎

好吧 我只需要回到我的車那兒 Well, I just need to get to my car‎

我都走了十個街區了 還是找不到 I've walked like ten blocks and I can't find any‎

聽著 我不是連環殺手好嗎？ Look, I'm not a serial killer, okay?‎

我保證 Promise‎

過道還是靠窗？ Aisle or window?‎

我有個...我有個理論 I have-- I have this theory‎

就是選過道座位的人更...開朗友善 that, um, aisle people are more... open and friendly‎

而選靠窗座位的人更...呃.. whereas, uh, window people are more, um..‎

內向且心思細膩 private and thoughtful‎

你渾身散髮著靠窗黨的氣質 Getting major window vibes‎

這是摩門教的傳教方式嗎？ Is this a Mormon thing?‎

因為我不會入教的 省省吧 'Cause I'm not joining so you can save it‎

為什麼——你怎麼會覺得我是摩門教徒？ Why-- Why would you think I'm a Mormon?‎

老兄 你看起來就像剛從《摩門經》裡走出來似的 Dude, you look like you stepped out of The Book of Mormon‎

好吧 確實 不 我是.. Okay, yeah No, I'm, uh..‎

我是做房地產的 I'm in real estate‎

很好 Great‎

賣公寓的 不是賣靈魂救贖的 Selling apartments not eternal salvation‎

你能閉嘴嗎？ Can you just shut the fuck up?‎

啊 好的 Ah, yep‎

沒錯 Yep‎

-好車啊 -那是我媽的 - Nice wheels - That was my mum's‎

你知道 她給了我個優惠價 You know she gave me a good deal‎

那也是你媽媽的嗎？ Is that your mom's, too?‎

那你平時都在哪兒衝浪？ So, where you been surfing?‎

哦 主要在斯納珀海灘 那邊浪況不錯 Oh, ah, Snapper, mostly It's been good‎

不過浪頭有點飄忽不定 The peak's a little shifty, though‎

對 Yeah‎

想知道一個本地人才懂的秘密嗎？ Do you want to know a local secret?‎

好的 Okay‎

不過你千萬不能說出去 You can't tell a soul, though‎

記得那個窗口人嗎？ Window person, remember?‎

嗯 當然 Yeah. Right‎

好 下次你划船出海時 Okay, well next time you paddle out‎

記得找岸邊那張藍色長椅 you want to look to shore for the blue bench‎

對 就坐在長椅正中間位置 Right, you wanna sit right in the middle of that bench‎

這樣遇到的浪頭能多一倍 You'll double your wave count‎

謝謝 Thanks‎

聽著 鄭重聲明我.. And look, for the record, I..‎

我絕不會舉報思樂冰那件事 I never would have narked about the Slurpee‎

不 確實 我可能不該 No, yeah, I probably shouldn't have‎

以貌取人 所以...我們扯平了 judged a book by its cover so... we're good‎

摩西·馬克利 Moses Markley‎