The Intervention

Hi.

Okay.

Turn around. Okay? Bye.

Turn around.

Okay.

Something to drink?

I... um...

Yeah, can I have an orange juice?

Actually, um, can you make that a scotch?

Rocks.

Double.

Oh, that's it.

No.

You know, if you're gonna have a plain black bag,

you should put something on it to distinguish it from the other bags.

I don't know why you needed a whole suitcase anyway.

We're only there three days.

Well, two days, three nights.

Well, but I guess Monday is a travel day, so technically three days.

Okay.

Here's the thing.

I am the person who overpacks her things

in an unmarked, generic black suitcase, okay?

It's who I always have been. It's who I always will be.

That is what you're signing up for.

I know. I can't wait to sign up for you.

Did you have a drink on the plane?

Just one. I mean... Oh, that's it.

Who are you texting?

Uh, Annie. Just letting her know where we are.

You know, that's a lovely blouse.

This? Thanks.

Your first time in Savannah? Yeah.

My family has a house here from...

Yeah, it's a beautiful city.

I'd love to show you around.

Well, you know, we're actually staying an hour out of town, so...

Oh, shame.

You know, if you'd rather spend the weekend with Rick,

I would totally get that.

'Cause it seems that you guys really connected.

Yeah, i don't know, I think maybe he was just being friendly.

Lesbians!

Hey. Hello.

This is where the subarus are.

Hi.

You love that Subaru joke, huh?

I love it. It's my favorite.

Um, so Peter and Ruby get in in a couple of hours.

Hmm-hmm. And, Matt, did you talk to Jack?

Yeah, he's driving.

Probably get in around the same time as us.

How's he doing?

Well, you know.

Do we know if he's bringing her?

Uh, he didn't say.

He can't really bring her, right?

He shouldn't.

He shouldn't bring her. It's not appropriate.

Fifty bucks says he brings her.

You're on.

Jess, why have you never brought me here?

None of us have been here in what, six years?

Six years.

I would've come here without you.

Jessie, this is your family's little summer house?

It belongs to our whole family.

What are you, like, a secret Kennedy or something?

Seriously, I really think that we should stay together.

I've been thinking about it a lot since we got here

and I really feel like...

Babe. Babe.

I mean, what is this? This place is perfect.

Does someone live here?

There are people who take care of it and get it ready for us.

What, you mean like oompa-loompas? Yes.

No way.

I missed this place.

I don't understand why we're not just getting married here.

Baby!

Oh! Oh, no!

No!

My friends!

- My friends! - Hi.

A check is fine, if that's all you have.

Okay, this is Lola. Yes.

Annie, Matt, Jessie, Sarah.

This is Lola.

Hello. Hi.

Hi. How are you?

Why not?

Good to see you. Hi.

How are you? Good to see you. Good to see you.

You guys good? Yeah. Yeah, we're good.

We just got here.

How was the drive? Good.

It's far hotter in that car than anywhere else in the universe.

Hot.

Um, Jack, can we talk to you, please?

We just got here.

Now, right now? Jessie, can you...

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.

Sure. Sorry. I'm good without you.

Over there? Okay.

Yeah, there's a...

What's up?

Can you guys just give me a break, please?

Well, excuse me, but this is a very delicate situation

and I don't think having some baby stranger around

is going to make Peter and Ruby feel very safe.

We shouldn't even be doing this in the first place.

Well, we are doing it. We all agreed.

Nope. I'm gonna stop you right there. I never agreed.

Remember when I was like,

"i absolutely don't think this is something we should do"?

Okay. Well, the majority agreed, and we are doing it.

This marriage intervention is long overdue.

Oh, my god.

That sounds even more insane when you say it out loud.

"Marriage intervention"?

Yeah, it doesn't sound great.

So, Lola, where do you live?

Um...

Nowhere.

I kind of just travel around with Jack.

We met at south by southwest at my boyfriend's show.

We just, like, saw each other and were like...

Just, like, hit it off really well.

That's cool.

So, Jessie's your girlfriend.

Exactly. Yeah. Right. Okay.

How long have you guys been together?

Three years.

Oh. Three years. Nice.

Where do you guys live?

We live in Los Angeles.

But, you know, not together. We don't live together.

Oh, okay.

Why not?

Uh, she's very independent.

Right, right, right.

Hmm.

What do you want me to do?

Do you want me to just tell her right now to go home?

No. Yeah.

That's extreme.

Okay, fine, no.

Okay, so you just wanna make me

feel bad for bringing her along.

Jack, I...

Did you guys ever think for one second

what it would feel like for me to come back here?

Listen.

She's kind, she loves me, and she makes me feel good.

And fuck, i really need to feel good right now.

So please, be nice. Okay?

Tell them, "no fucking way."

No, you're not getting on the plane

until they make good on the terms of the contract.

Okay. Listen.

Have faith in yourself. You're a genius. I'm gonna leave it at that.

All right. When I hear from them, I'm gonna text or e-mail.

All right, good.

Sorry.

No, no, you know what I love?

I love sitting on the side of the road for 30 minutes,

'cause it just gives my ass a chance to sleep.

Okay. I said I'm sorry. Okay?

We're going into a dead zone, and it's an important call.

Obviously, I couldn't risk getting dropped.

That sounded really important.

Just because other people's priorities are different than yours

doesn't mean they're not important.

Okay, you know what? Let's just drop this.

Gladly.

I think we should do it tonight.

Tonight?

That way they have the weekend to

process while they're amongst friends.

Yeah, or it could mess up the whole weekend.

Well, I'm pretty sure this whole weekend's been fucked

before it began, right?

Why are you even here?

Aw, I've been saying the entire time, i don't think it's our place.

But since you insisted on doing this, i wanted to be here.

Of course it's our place.

Peter has been your best friend for 20 years

and Ruby is Jessie's sister and my mentee.

She's your mentee?

She's always looked up to me.

I think we should do it tonight after dinner.

Okay, I haven't seen him in a long time,

but there's no way they could be that bad.

I've been looking forward to this all week long.

Let's just pretend to have a good time, okay?

Oh, you mean like i do at home?

Well, if I'm being brutally honest,

it's because you can't fucking move past it.

Okay, let's move past it. We're done. Can we do that?

It's done. Okay?