You've Got Fail

Are you guys ready to make the best epic fail video ever?

We were born ready.

Pig Billy, Boy Billy. Pig Billy, Boy Billy.

Pig Billy, Boy Billy. - Nora...

You are the adorable little t-ball player

and, Billy, you are the unlucky kid

who "accidentally" gets in her way.

Hold and...

Action!

Time to hit one over the fence.

Swing away, but be careful

not to hit me in my "special area."

Oh, cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!

Guys, epic fails are supposed to look natural.

You want an epic fail--

just point the camera at your face.

Ah, look who's back from rehearsals of the "Buttcracker."

The "Buttcracker"?

I see that ballet every time dad bends over.

It's called "Swan Lake"

and I worked really hard to get the lead.

And in just a few short days,

I'll make my dance debut and become "The Swan."

So, it's going to be three hours of that?

I know. Aren't you excited?

Clear out, birdbrain.

I've gotta get back to my epic fail video

so I can win that Chirper contest.

The first video to get to one million re-chirps

wins $10,000.

Let me guess--you have some ridiculous

over-the-top plan for the winnings.

No. I'm gonna buy a tiny island in the South Pacific

where I'll start a dictatorship called Maxlandia!

Wait, what'll we get?

You guys get to be one of the lucky few

to be on the internet.

I just wanna hit something with a bat.

Oh! - BILLY: Oh, ho, ho!

The camera wasn't rolling.

I know.

"These epic fails are epic fakes"?

How dare they call my staged videos fake!

You guys need to fail better.

Fail better as we skateboard down the stairs backwards.

Got it.

Yeah, I'm not doing that.

Hiddenville High presents "Swan Lake" this Saturday.

Get your tickets now to see me become...

"The Swan."

Get outta the living room, flappy feet.

- No way.

I'm making this video to post on Chirper

so we can boost ticket sales for the ballet.

We've only sold five so far.

Ooh, I bought my five tickets, sweetie!

I am so proud of you.

Thanks, Mom.

Beat it, loser!

Okay, guys, we are still making our video.

Just ignore Phoebe and remember...

this epic fail has to look real.

Got it! Let's rock this!

Oh!

Did you see that?

That's the kind of video you should be making.

Great idea, Nora.

You're fired.

Phoebe, are you okay?

Uh, let me, uh, use your phone to call the paramedics.

Nice try, Max.

You are not posting this video of me falling.

I've worked "tutu" hard.

Tutu.

Ballet humor. You wouldn't get it.

Now I'll just go post the good parts to Chirper

and then ballet it down for an app.

Okay, I'm done with ballet humor now.

I'll get that phone.

For Maxlandia!

Hank, I'm going to run errands.

Let the gardener in.

That's great, sweetheart.

Wait, gardeners cost money.

I found poison ivy in the back yard.

He's removing it.

So, you kids stay out of the backyard.

There's poison ivy over there.

That's great, Mom.

Okay, you know what would be great?

If you kids went inside until I got back.

Well, don't be silly. I'm right here.

I can watch 'em.

I know, but if they get poison ivy,

they'll be miserable and they'll miss the ballet.

Oh, I get it.

If your kids are in a bus hanging off a bridge,

call Thunderman.

Ooh, but there's a scary bush in the back yard.

Everybody in the house.

I'm sorry, honey. I totally trust you.

See you guys later.

Okay, Nora, watch me sink this shot.

This is why we get picked last in gym.

I'll get it.

Wait, I think that's where mom just said the poison ivy was.

Mom was out here?

Somebody was yelling at us.

Maybe we should ask dad if we can get it?

Hey, Dad, can we get our disc back?

Is it on the roof? - BILLY & NORA: No.

Then go ahead.

Got it--and no poison ivy.

Up top! -

Teen girl cell phone death grip.

Time for The Epic Faillerina to buy me my island.

Uploading Phoebe's fall to my Chirper page.

Rubbing Phoebe's phone in my armpit.

And now I make my clean getaway.

Cleanish.

Ow.

Hey, genius, somebody gave me poison ivy.

Ew, who did that?

Look in a mirror.

Is he behind me?

No. It's you.

Don't you have a rash, too?

Only this tiny red dot on my arm.

Ahhhhhhh! It's growing!

It only grows when you scratch it.

Then we should stop scratching.

But it feels so good. - I know.

What is happening in here?

Oh, no.

You got poison ivy?

Please don't tell me this happened on my watch.

It didn't. - Whew.

It happened while you were ignoring us on your watch.

You cannot tell your mom.

She'll never let me hear the end of it.

Don't worry--I'll find a cure.

Aw, what's this for?

Just giving you poison ivy to make sure

you want this cure as much as we do.

Ha. Nice try, Nora.

I flew into the sun once.

Do you really think Thunderman can get poison ivy?

Ahhhhhhh!

It's like a thousand fire ants are eating my skin!

Phoebe, I saw your video on Chirper.

Quite a performance.

Oh, thanks.

Looks like my post was a hit.

Yeah, a real smash.

Hopefully, a million people will see it.

I hope you got your ticket

to the show tomorrow night, Gideon.

Sure did. Can't wait to see you "break a leg."

Thanks. But "break a leg" is for theater folks.

Saying it to a dancer is kinda creepy.

Especially when you make that face.

Your first fan.

Looks like you became a star even before

you made your big debut.

You're welcome.

I am not a star, Max. I'm just Phoebe.

The same humble sister you've always known.

Now if you'll excuse me, my fans are waiting.

That's it--fall for Gideon.

Aww...

Don't worry, you'll get the full show on Saturday.

Good afternoon, Madame Gigi.

Bonjour, Phoebe.

Okay, too much touching.

Sorry, I'm just excited.

It's our last rehearsal before the big show.

Yes, the show, it is sold out.

The girls say it's because of your...video.

Sold out?

That's so awesome.

It'll be standing room only, when I become...

"The Swan."

No, no, no.

Phoebe, Mathilda will become "The Swan."

You will stay home.

I'm sorry, can you repeat that?

Your accent made it sound like I'm staying home.

Oui. You will ruin my show.

You are the one who falls and breaks things, non?