Whoever Said Orange Is the New Pink Was Seriously Disturbed

The school budget, which Anderson single-handedly oversees,

said we spent $129 on mousepads.

No mousepads.

You know how I feel about protecting Liz.

I apologized.

Previously on Elle...

Robin's funeral will be in Denver,

where most of her family lives, so I panicked

and offered to throw her a memorial.

Let me help.

Whoever Robin was to you...

thank you for being here today to pay your respects.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I appreciate that.

- I kissed Elle. - I don't want to look at you!

I don't want to be around you, and you can tell Elle I am done with her, too!

I don't want to lose Shannon as a friend.

These are for you.

And these are for your daughter,

who's probably never going to speak to me again.

I am so, so sorry.

To both of you.

You know, while I have you here,

maybe you could put in a good word to Shannon.

She's gone, too.

Well, she's not dead, obviously.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm so sorry I... I kissed Miles.

Your daughter had recently broken up with him.

She broke up with him.

I don't know if you caught that before you... you know.

But I will make this right.

- - Hey!

Some of us are busy paying our respects here.

Why isn't there a stop sign at this intersection?

Why isn't there a stop sign at this intersection?

- -

One will suffice.

Hi. I have this petition for a stop sign.

There's this really dangerous intersection near our school.

You'll see I have the requisite 1,000 signatures.

So, you're going to win Shannon back with a stop sign?

Seems like it would've been easier to just not kiss her boyfriend.

Ex-boyfriend. She means ex-boyfriend.

That detail's not for public consumption yet.

And this isn't about Shannon and me. It's for the greater good.

I can't undo the mistake I made, but this is something I can do.

With your help, of course.

According to our records,

we already approved a stop sign at the corner of 50th and Evans.

Last June, in fact.

I can assure you, there is no such stop sign at said intersection.

We approved the stop sign,

but the school elected to handle contracting themselves.

Sorry, I-I don't understand.

Are you saying someone ordered a stop sign but never paid for it?

It says right here.

"One stop sign,

requested by and granted to Rainier West High School board,

point of contact Shane Anderson."

Are you following?

Can you rewind a little bit?

Some video store humor for you there.

But, also, I mean it. Go back a little.

Sure. Principal Anderson either

forgot to purchase the stop sign he ordered for the school entrance,

or he got the school board to cough up the money and took it for himself.

Just like he did with the yield sign and the two "no parking" signs by the track.

Anderson requested and received

$15,600 from the school board for campus signs alone.

And that doesn't even include mousepads, tater tots,

gym mats and a bunch of other stuff

we found in the school budget that doesn't exist in real life.

Mm.

Did you pay for that candy?

As if I'm gonna put Blockbuster out of business. They'll be fine.

This is what got you fired in the first place.

All right, I know you're all very excited by this theory,

but I think you should direct your amateur detective efforts elsewhere.

What is he doing here?

Hey, uh, Dustin called me, filled me in.

Why would you do that?

We can use the extra brainpower.

Plus, he's Shannon's boyfriend.

- Ex. - Ex.

What am I missing?

They're on a friendship sabbatical.

I'm just here to help.

Anyway, you were Principal Anderson's secretary for two years.

Do you think he could've stolen all that money?

I don't know. He's such a rule follower.

- - Well,

the teachers love him, parents love him.

He was just a finalist for State Principal of the Year.

The people spoke.

But... but he sucks.

Fine, but you can't just order things and not buy them.

There is a record. And, plus, I would know.

I've spent hours filing receipts and invoices.

Did he have receipts for the stuff we don't have?

Mousepads? Tater tots? Gym mats?

I don't know... 'cause I'm staying out of it.

Hypothetically, where would these receipts be?

In his file cabinet in his office, which is always locked.

- Can we break in? - If it opens,

- it can be broken into. - How?

I have a lot of bobby pins from my French-twist period.

- We steal Frank's master key. - Got it.

Wait. Frank the maintenance guy? I thought he was fired.

His schedule got shifted to weekends. Budget cuts.

Yeah, good luck. When I'd ask Frank for the key to the snack closet,

- he'd say, "From my cold, dead hands." - Right,

- because you have to pay for snacks. -

- They're-- Okay. - Okay, so let's say

we somehow get into the school on Saturday, get the key off Frank.

- What do we do? - We break into Anderson's office,

make copies of the receipts, cross-reference them with the budget.

If anything's missing, that's evidence we can take to the school board.

Easy. Now we just need an excuse to be in school over the weekend.

Guys?

Hello, Rainier West High.

This is Liz Miller coming to you live from the AV room.

Please rise for the national anthem.

Dustin, principal's office, now.

This period was not designed for you to take a nap.

Take that to the principal's office.

- -

For you.

From the League of Women Voters.

Huh.

Thank you.

Thank you.

...head to the nurse's office.

- -

- - Listen up.

"Operation: Manifest Anderson's Demise

by Breaking into His Office to Expose His Hypocrisy" starts now.

Subtle.

Once the detention monitor gets here,

we'll initiate Phase One: key loop sabotage.

I took the liberty of fleshing out the plan a bit.

What's that smell?

- Is this... lavender scented? -

Great nose, Liz.

Lavender is a naturally calming fragrance, and heists are known to be quite nervy.

Whoa. When did detention get so uncool?

I'm sorry, what are you doing here?

Oh, turns out nine tardies is six too many, so...

Didn't expect to see Good Girl Barbie serving time.

What'd you do? Turn in an English essay in the dialect of a Valley girl?

I don't speak Valley.

I only go there for sushi and designer discounts.

- Oh. - Yeah, Elle's actually

- the biggest badass here. - Really?

Enlighten me.

Pie to Anderson in the face. Don't want to talk about it.

Elle Woods pied the principal.

That's... shockingly epic.

Thank you.

But it's now 9:23 a.m.

Does detention not start at 9:15?

- Where's our monitor? -

Oh, here we go.

I heard that.

- You forgot your lunch. - Oh, I didn't--

I think someone might miss being at school.

Okay, delinquents, here's how this is gonna work.

Every one of these books is gonna be reshelved by 3:00 p.m.,

so get friendly with our Dewey decimal system.